Why are so many people up at this hour? Thread 2

[izzyizin]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1669515-Why-are-so-many-people-up-at-this-hour

This is what happens, jynier

Continue uninterrupted....

kitty - Thanks for asking; first time that I have been to a family do on Mother's Day since the dreadful losses. Felt that I could no longer upset my DD2; she was so thrilled when she realised that I had my camera with me and intended to take group pics! Her house was full with relatives (four of us were mothers, two of us were grandmothers) and my son-in-law and his father prepared the meal whilst watching footie on the TV in the kitchen. DD2 had chosen great music (was astounded when I realised that it was being played through her 'phone), and we danced and sang! Icing on the cake was when my DD1 rang from NZ and I could SEE her and my GD2 on the screen! I never mentioned my little bro and my best friend; would have spoilt the occasion although I was thinking about them all the time. My GS is the spitting image of my bro. My darling friend was there 3 years ago as she had been appointed an "honorary grandmother" by my DD2. All so sad!

I put on a great act for Mother's Day; next Sunday, 17th March, will be the 40th anniversary of the death of my third child. I'm the only one who remembers; b***d XH won't!

Yes he scraped into Mother's Day by the skin of his teeth. Someone else's baby is screaming blue murder down the hall this is why you only have to wait six hours before you can go home isn't it? (Twiddles thumbs and hopes for a more sensible hour)

Hey, honey! You probably need to get some decent sleep now! Sending lots of love to little feller; does he have a name yet?

Hope that your DP/H takes care of you!

Best wishes to you all!

Congratulations Dirty - ahh, sweet snuffly newborns . Post natal wards are horrendous though, I took earplugs last time.

jynier, your day sounds lovely. Skype/Face Time are fab, we have family all over the place and yet we can still see them so there are some good things about the 21st century.

At least you got through your days, cafe and Stoic. My church's Mother's Day service was really good at recognising all the different forms of motherhood, so our nanny got a bunch of flowers, but also recognised how horribly painful a day it can be, too. We lit candles for those who have had a tough time as mothers, which was really sweet and made me well up, much to DDs confusion.

You lot are lovely.

oh jynier- so sorry, I had a little inkling when you told us how many children you had had, and thought, drat, I had asked the stupid question I hate people asking of how many children do you have - still don't know how to answer it, usually say, 2, then it gets complicated as they ask how old, and I usually say my youngest is 3, and hope that I can rapidly change the subject.

dirty- congratulations! ah, mesh knickes...those were the days have you chosen a name for DS2?

jynier, your DD2 sounds completely insensitive, forcing you to act your way through the day. How dare she? It must be so hard for you. I expect she has never suffered a loss herself and has no idea what it feels like when someone you love has gone. Poor you, having to sit through that.

I am so sorry for your losses.

Congratulations DM! Hope you get home soon!! PN Wards are awful!! And I should know!!

Kitty - it was THE LAST EVER BEING HUMAN - sob! End of an era!!

Jynier - maybe your DD just wanted to see you have a nice day?

Cafe - I don't know how you can be more tactful in answering the children question than you already are. It must be so difficult.

Morning. Reading about your mums day experiences, I guess we try to get through life avoiding re stimulating pain. Families, sometimes well meaning, do not realise, most just want normality to return ( whatever that is).
I was working all day and missed calls from my children(3). I did think a while about my own mum though and made myself sad thinking how she would have enjoyed her great grandchildren.
Have a good day everybody.

halimasho I didn't read it like that. I saw it that despite jynier's constant, gnawing, debilitating grief she was able to gleen some joy from the day. Her first text was very positive I felt; Skype, singing and dancing, great music choices, grandchildren, children, the range of generations. None of this detracts from the underlying cloak of grief that has been mentioned before but I felt a lovely day was had and that the daughter was trying to give something back to jynier

I'm very sorry to hear about your son . I too had an inkling by the way you worded your answer to the question.

I don't feel it is disrespectful to the dead if we celebrate the living. It doesnt mean we are forgetting.

jynier I'm sorry I'm probably way off the mark and shouldn't be talking for you. Only you know how it was of course. It sounds like a lovely day.

Oh welcome to the thread by the way halimasho

stars I love the walking dead. I've watched the first two series only. Where are you up to? I'd love to discuss it but it would be full of spoilers!

Mothers Day is a strange one, isn't it? My own mother subjected me to some quite awful emotional and physical abuse in my teens. We never speak of it; indeed, she has probably forgotten it happened as she was drunk a lot of the time. I have worked hard on forgiving her and it is only since having children that I have any meaningful relationship with her. And that relationship is based on the fact that she is a good grandmother to them. She takes it all for granted and thinks she is a wonderful mother! Anything that she does acknowledge is blamed firmly on my dad (a whole other story!) She has no idea how much damage she has caused and how lucky she is to be in my life at all.

And yet, and yet, I still desperately crave that mother daughter relationship and invited her to a mothers day celebration. Aren't human emotions complicated?

I'm very sorry to hear about your experiences halimasho

Human emotions are indeed complicated.

We spent some of the day on the beach. It was cold, but beautiful. Watching mam with my dcs, including my teenage dd, gives me pangs of almost jealousy. She loves them so much.

I am sorry. I have de-lurked really inappropriately. I think jynier's post struck a chord as I am probably an awful daughter too. I forced my mam to come for Christmas last year. It ended up being horrible and I just should have let her stay home like she wanted.

Ah no, I don't deserve sympathy. I'm not even a bad sleeper! Just a lot on my mind at the moment. Take care, everyone.

Your de-lurking is not inappropriate, halimasho You are very welcome. I don't see anything awful in trying to bring a family together despite past trauma. I think it is commendable actually.

I'm sorry to hear about your pangs of jealousy, that must be do very difficult to deal with

Morning all you weekend survivors. What a varied lot we are.

Spangley congratulations to DirtyMistress! May you be able to leave the ward soon, four months ago for me and what a long night that was on a shared ward.

I was 11 days on a godforsaken post natal ward Yacksville, Tennessee.

Kitty that sounds like a cruel and unusual punishment. Did you annoy a midwife?

Ha ha tubegirl exactly

Don't go Halishamo! I don't think you have offended anyone!!
Ha ha Kitty - you don't annoy this midwife!!