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Original poster

Does he have a GF? Dodgy text

125 replies

Finwort · 03/03/2013 21:50

NC for this.
I've been sleeping with this guy on and off for nearly a year, it's very casual.
It's quite normal for us to text or call one another late at night, typical booty call.
We've both agreed that if either of us meets someone, we will tell the other, ie this is only acceptable as long as we are both single.
Last saw him on Tuesday, everything was fine.

Sent him a text last night, about 11.30pm, just said 'are u busy?' . I got a reply straight away saying 'hello..why do you ask..and who is this ?'
First thing I did was check that I'd sent it to the right number, which I had.
Now I'm thinking he's got a GF and it was her who saw the text and replied to it.
I feel horrible about this, if he's with someone he hasn't told me and I feel bad for her, but there again as he's having sex with me on the side this has probably done her a favour to find out what he's like.

I haven't text him again, if he does have a GF I don't want to cause any further trouble, but I'm more than a bit pissed off if he has because he's lied to me too.

Anyway, just wondering what others make of the text reply. I can't find any other explanation. Any other suggestions?

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 04/03/2013 11:27

It doesnt really matter how many sims he has, he is up to his neck in it!

Reality · 04/03/2013 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scaevola · 04/03/2013 11:31

One sim, 2 handsets?

OP's number saved to the phone, not the sim, so not recognised when sim in a different handset?

But if he had an innocent reason to swop handsets (like dropping phone down loo, or into bucket of wallpaper paste), why didn't he just say so? Why the mad dash home?

Wonderland121 · 04/03/2013 11:33

Definitely has a GF or Wife my guess is a GF.

OutsideOverThere · 04/03/2013 11:37

But if he's using a second sim how on earth would OP know it was him texting her? Doesn't make sense.

msrisotto · 04/03/2013 11:38

Yeah it does sound vair dodge to me.

Blu · 04/03/2013 11:40

If he's put the sim in the phone he has with him at work, then no phone will be ringing or beeping at home, because it will have no sim in it. Whatever has happened i am sure he is worried that whoever sent the text will get the next call.

I would have texted back, when he said he was on his way home, good idea, I'll meet you there, and then I can show you the text I received on my phone. I might be there a little before you, so I'll wait in the porch' - and imagine his total panic.

Carolra · 04/03/2013 11:41

Happened to me once... turned out the f*cker had a wife and a daughter at home... the flat I thought he lived in was actually just somewhere he used during the week so he didn't have to commute every day and could keep his girlfriends from his wife. I found out when I read some of his birthday cards and saw one that said "Happy Birthday daddy, I love you". Angry

Original poster
Finwort · 04/03/2013 11:42

Ok some of this doesn't make much sense to me, but this is what he's said, I suppose I could hardly expect the truth! Im very confused about the phones story.

He's married. Well he described his status as 'separated' but that's bullshit. He swears he has no DC. His DW lives in their home in another area of the country. He came up to my area on a work transfer. That's probably the only part of the story that's true. The reason I hadn't seen him much at the weekend recently is that he'd been going back to the marital home. Even though they are 'separated'. Hmm

He has two phones. Let's describe the other one as his 'shagging phone'. But he's only got one SIM card and only one number. He put the SIM card in his 'shagging phone' - the one he bought to contact me that is hidden from DW - on Friday evening, because he was going to text me to say he was going to be busy so don't bother texting. The reason he was busy was that his DW - the one he's separated from Hmm was up for the weekend.
But he didn't get a chance to send that text to me. During the course of the evening he forgot to switch the SIM back to the other phone. His shagging phone was 'hidden' in the bedside table, when I sent my text to him, his DW heard the text come through and found it. He said he must have been asleep. She didn't delete the text she sent from the Outbox Folder, he said it was still there.
He said my name had never been attached to my number on that phone because he only uses it to contact me. Confused

The cheeky twunt even tried asking me for advice - why do you think DW didn't mention it to me, she did seem a bit off yesterday, what should I do now?
I asked him how come he'd apparently forgotten that he was married and hadn't told me, and he said he didn't think I'd be up for having sex with him if I knew!!

I'm not sure I understand the point of him having two phones and only one SIM and one number? And if he's only got one SIM why did the text not show up anyway, irrespective of what phone it was in? The phone that I've seen is a quite elderly Nokia model, it's not a smartphone if that makes any difference.

I'm a bit disappointed that he wasn't creative enough to come up with a story that me and MN could laugh about.

Oh and obviously, I've told him where to stick it.

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 04/03/2013 11:43

What a fucking prick.

redflagornotredflag · 04/03/2013 11:45

Some phones save texts to the actual phone, not the sim card, so maybe he thought the wife wouldn't see them if they were on the shagging phone?

What a prick. And sorry you've been put through this.

Bogeyface · 04/03/2013 11:46

I rather suspect that his DW is now trying to find evidence of his cheating as she now knows he has a secret phone with only one number on it. She wont have said anything because she is trying to find out what has happened. Shame you dont know who she is as then you could tell her what a shit she is married to.

He is no more seperated than I am!

FairyJen · 04/03/2013 11:46

Sorry op. shit that you've been treated like that.

Bogeyface · 04/03/2013 11:47

My sim doesnt save messages, they are saved to the phone.

Carolra · 04/03/2013 11:47

He probably has two phones so that his wife can't check the messages - must be a headache to have to delete everything all of the time, so he swaps his sim into a crappy old phone to text you. Texts are stored on the phone itself, not the sim, so if he swaps the sim to a different phone it won't take the messages with it. I can understand the logic - he's still a dickhead though. Hugs... I guess its too early for wine??

AnyFucker · 04/03/2013 11:49

He is an utter liar. Noe of what he says makes sense

Good reaction from you. "Stick it" is about the sanest response you could have made.

I would tell his wife, but that's just me.

AnyFucker · 04/03/2013 11:49

none

SPsFanjoTheBigStickyHaribo · 04/03/2013 11:49

What a dickhead! Hes not separated at all.

JaxTellerIsMyFriend · 04/03/2013 11:50

oh no! Sorry that you have been deceived OP. I imagine there will be some poor woman on relationships thread if the wife is a MNer trying to get help for her fuckwit husband.

What a complete arse he is.

I would be tempted to let his wife know what a shit he is, but she probably has half a clue, or is burying her head in the sand. Or more likely, he will spin some bullshit story about it being a wrong number.

scaevola · 04/03/2013 11:51

I think his story is utter BS.

There is a memory for numbers on handset of old Nokias, but not for texts.

It's far more plausible that he has been lying about his relationship with his wife, is watching everything implode and is lying in every direction in a panic and in a vague hope of somehow minimising what is going on. The delay in getting back to you probably wasn't a dash home to a handset, but just buying time whilst he worked out which lies to tell, and to get to somewhere free of colleagues before he tells them.

Given what you said earlier in read, OP, I take it this means LTB?

Reality · 04/03/2013 11:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MTBMummy · 04/03/2013 11:54

I'm really sorry that he turned out to be shit - why don't you offer him advice that he tells his wife what a twat he is and leave you alone

Wonderland121 · 04/03/2013 12:00

Omg the twat actually has a wife Shock

Obviously he thought he could get away with it as he was "working away" i don't think he has ever been separated in fact he probably has kids to.

Hope your ok OP and i am glad you told him to stick it.

MackerelOfFact · 04/03/2013 12:04

"His shagging phone was 'hidden' in the bedside table, when I sent my text to him, his DW heard the text come through and found it. He said he must have been asleep."

So he shares a bed with the wife he is 'separated' from? Hmm

Twunt. Shame your original text wasn't more explicit about your past/intentions. Hopefully the wife has seen enough to leave the bastard. Angry

Abitwobblynow · 04/03/2013 12:04

I asked him how come he'd apparently forgotten that he was married and hadn't told me, and he said he didn't think I'd be up for having sex with him if I knew!!

  • is why FWB is an incredibly bad idea. I so hate it when men turn women into 'things' for their selfish benefit.

Well, now you have got this arse over a barrell, you should require him to 1. download 'what will you become?' by Linda J Macdonald, 2. study it 3. give you a good precis of what it says and what conclusions he has come to about selfishness,
or you WILL tell his wife.

Kind of like an english tutorial, but in morals! Smile.

Twat.

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