Juliette and Scrazy, I am so sorry for both your losses.
Grief is such an individual thing. I had 5 days off from law school after my mum died. I know that lots of people thought I was pretty cold hearted but I couldn't deal with how utterly devastated my dad was, plus being at home without my mum there was unbearable. I remember lots, and yet hardly anything, about the few months after that. I was pretty much on autopilot. When my dad died 3 years later, I took a week's leave from work. It was suggested to me any longer would have been excessive 
. I spent all my spare time getting drunk, until quite by accident I feel pregnant with DS1, which made me sort myself out a bit. I don't know if I ever really grieved, or maybe I still am. I still miss them, I always will. I find being without their advice and views so hard, especially the older I get and the harder I find it to remember what they thought about certain things.
Western, no need to decide yet about tomorrow - if you think there will be a row either way, maybe think about whether it's easier to deal with that at home or not.
I understand that need for a hug, and for support, and that feeling that if you make the first move, do something conciliatory, it will all be well. Which it might be, but only for right now. Then the next time he has an issue, at the same time as you need support, you could be thrown back to the same situation. Being strong about these things is so hard though.