Hi there.
The argument is fresh so this may well be a bit ranty, apologies in advance.
My husband is kind, thoughtful, generous, and an absolute prick.
We both work full time (My job is a long commute away and I have to leave at 6.45 and don't get home until 6.30), he works 4 days a week on a 12 hr shift, meaning he has 4 straight days off per week.
I have a 7 yr old step daughter who lives with us.
I am also 6 months pregnant.
'D'H is the messiest, uncleanest laziest person EVER. When I first visited his flat it was like something out of how clean is your house.
I'm no desperate housewife but I can't live like that.
For him, cleaning is not a priority. and so he doesn't do it. at all. he just makes more mess. When I say he doesn't do it by the way, I don't mean he doesn't clean the floors, I mean, he doesn't do the washing up, empty bins etc etc, really really basic stuff. So. I have to come home from work, whilst he's had a busy day sitting on his arse, to cook dinner. Before starting I have to clean the kitchen, because he will have made himself breakfast/dsd breakfast, his lunch and obv left it out on the side in a mess explosion.
Honestly it is amazing how much mess one 28 year old man can make in one day.
I pack the lunches, I deal with childcare when he's working, I do all the cooking, shopping (he will occasionally go shopping but doesn't understand that a family need more than fish fingers and chips so I usually have to go again anyway)
I have tried to talking to him about this but it always ends up in an argument.
I can't go on strike because the mess doesn't bother him at all.
I asked him to empty the bins the other day (they had begun to spill onto the floor) he told me off for nagging him and said that he 'always does it'...
I came home, not done. I have given him 3 days. Still not done. So I did it myself.
I am so paranoid that I will end up having a c section and won't be able to do this stuff. He won't understand why it needs doing and lack of sleep will make me unable to turn a blind eye and I can just see us constantly rowing.
this may seem trivial but I'm just so tired and would just like to live in a reasonable environment. Not a show home. just reasonable.
I find myself planning my days off around cleaning. Which will take all day, but as soon as his day off rolls around, it's back to a squat again.
I've even hired a cleaner but he complains that she puts things back in the wrong place!!!!!!! At least she puts things back!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know how to manage this, he is so unreasonable when I try and talk about it and I'm finding it so upsetting that it always turns into a huge row.
Sorry about the long post.