Here we go again. Dating thread 42

[VoiceofUnreason]

Evening all. As you were.

Velv - if it was a family christening, as a bloke, I'd take that a sign of you being fairly serious. i'd only take a proper girlfriend to something like that, not someone I'd been dating a little. however, a friend's baby's christening is much less of a big deal

velvet has he got social phobia do you think?

Voice, that's interesting re the family thing, I can see why that would look more serious. There's only a couple of my friends going, so not like he will be running the gauntlet of loads of people I know. Most people there I won't know either!

Redflag, I don't think he does...but then its not the sort of thing that would necessarily come up in conversation. I think if he says no it would be more that he wasn't that into me, and didn't want to go to anything as a couple, than that he wasn't comfortable with new people etc...but that could just be my negative spin on it!

I think you should ask him, Velvet - it all sounds low key and relaxed.

I'm going to get on with some more decorating and stop whittling. He's never had his phone switched off before, hasn't read a text from last night even which is very very odd for him. Still I'm trying to be rational. None of my worries previously have come to anything so I'm sure this will be the same.

I have just eaten a lindt chocolate bunny in bed (friend bought it for me). I have got another bloody cold from the kids (half term...pah)

Redflag the belly thing is tricky, it doesnt seem 'on' to say to someone, I really like you but if this is going to work you need to get slimmer

and, in my experience bellies tend to grow not shrink

has your man expressed any desire to become more svelte?

velvet I'd leave it until nearer the date. Give it a couple of weeks & see where you are, try to put it out of your mind (I know, I know)

redflag I once had an Internet fling with the loveliest man ever...he lived 3000+ miles away. We emailed daily for 6 months and I flew out to meet him...and he was hugely obese. I had an absolutely great holiday, tons of amazing sex and went back again four months later. It was a shock, everything else was 'right' so I got over it. I am by no means physically perfect, so perfection is something I don't look for.

Oww mobile phones are the bane of our lives I would ignore as much as possible & plan day around his non attendance (sorry!)

I finished up a bag of dry roast peanuts and a box of thorntons mint chocolates for bed-breakfast. Finally hauled myself out of bed to collapse on the sofa. Must do busy things. Must not look at phone. Grrrr.

Have you heared owt then Snape?

Velvet a Christening is a much bigger deal that say, friends in the pub. It is a formal situation, and taking him with you does sort of announce you are a couple and open him up to the scrutiny of your friends in one swoop. That may be too much for even the most loved up if he is prone to anxiety or feeling down. Have you thought carefully about why you would like him to be there, is it purely to have a fun afternoon with your friends or are you testing his commitment does it signify more to you? I'm all for saying what you feel but in this case, you wouldn't be saying what you felt, but hoping to find out via something else which could backfire iyswim. Sorry, that's not very clear .

Mercury
You should have said " It looked just like a penis , only alot smaller."
That would have deflated his ermm . . ego

Not a peep. I texted a cheerfully non committal text last night around half nine. Nope. Nothing. Nada. we've had 30 hour gaps before. I'm not letting it annoy me too much until tomorrow.

Although, one might mention that men should be aware of sending texts in a post-coital context...if it's possibly going to happen again, it's kinda best to keep up the level of pre-coital contact. So the post-coital head-hormones don't go a bit fucking-loopy.

Although his head might be a bit fuzzy due to ME/CFS/POWAH OF VAGINAAAAH so I'll tread water for a bit and distract myself with a lot of bacon and some doctor who.

Insouciant bacon.

Problem is, I have tickets for all of us ...

He never, ever has his phone switched off.

I will leave it til this evening then try again if I've not heard anything.

Tweed I didn't reply to his explanation and dont intend to.
I was a bit creeped out, it seemed a mildly sinister and predatory thing to do.

Then he tried to pretend it was a mistake and I saw him as a pathetic joke of a person:o

Snape I suspect the best tactic for a woman 'post coitus' is to NOT initiate any contact, act as if you have lost interest and have other fish to fry.
sadly I've not quite pulled this one off yet

Yeah I know what you mean Snape....I find sex makes me feel more vulnerable and open ...which can be good....not so good if the lines of communication are strangely closed..

Redflag either you take the man with his belly, or not at all. I think that is the deal. If it is important to you then it would be unfair to let him think you like him as he is or to be with him in the expectation that he will change.

My only big belly experience was a couple of years ago, I was shocked when I first saw it but quickly grew to like it as part of him. He has lost most of it now and yes he looks good for it but I'm happier that he is healthier rather than the shape thing.

I'd consider a christening quite a formal affair, Velvet, so I don't know that I'd invite someone I was still in the early days with. That's me, though, so it doesn't mean you can't, just saying that some people consider them formal, others don't.

I want bacon. I've added Soreen to my online Tescos shop but have to wait for that until tomorrow, and I can't go to the shop yet because my friend is on her way over and I don't want to be out when she arrives.

MsC I feel like maybe he is just keeping you there for a chat when he feels like it. I went on a date with mr rich months ago, slept with him then he fissled things out. He starts calling and messaging when he feels like it, probably when he had nothing better going on! And I like talking to him etc but I'm not meeting up with him as he is just using me!

I feel like a lot of guys just like having people on their phones to chat to.

Snape they have been filming Dr Who on Westminster Bridge and apparently are packing up the Daleks (sp) now

Mercury they are usually contrite afterwards, so sorry, I won't do it again blah. It was a nasty thing to do and then to pretend you didn't see anything... yes, very creepy.

Western I'm sure there is nothing odd going on, but it is very annoying given that you all have a big outing tomorrow.

Velvet - how long have you been dating? I don't think it's a massive deal to ask him to come along, I think if you casually ask him then it's not like saying 'be my boyfriend and come to a very important christening'

Snape - sorry I'm trying to catch up, what happened? I remember you worrying about telling him about certain things, so I'm guessing you told him and slept with him and havnt heard from him since?

Augh! At DW being filmed on Westminster bridge. I can get there in an hour tops. Do we have any idea how much danger Matt Smith would be in from post-coital swishy haired smiley-me?

mercury oh yes, I've sent a text. I'm not going to keep sending texts. I'm not that needy and/or stupid.

Do you think I could make a cheese toastie with soreen? I like onion in my cheese toastie. I'm not certain that cheese & onion & malt loaf will work....

moving yes. Had the chat. Then the movie-sex, went home. Text from him when I got home, I replied. Text from him in response to that the next morning, all seems well. I replied. Sent brief text last night, no response so far. Wasn't a text that merited a response, so should be overly concerned.

auuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuughghghghghhhhhhh!!

All this talk of bacon, I'm going to make a bacon sandwich

Well update on last night, he came over we chatted for hours and hours had a nice time, then slept together and it was good it lasted two hours! Bloody hell!!!!

Then he left about 5ish, dd woke me up about 8 and I'm so knackard!

There's something about how he is treating me that makes me feel like I'm being treated with respect for a change. I've only seen him a few times and already he is treating me better then mrworkaholic ever did.

And the more I get to know him the more I like him and he also said he likes how I am and that I don't try to lead him up the garden path. He said some girls he's been involved with act like they are so into the relationship right away then back off, to which I replied well we are just getting to know each other! But he has said he doesn't see it as just a sex thing, which I can tell by how he acts!

Snape - I would give him more time in that case. Also you did say that you often leave it a while between contact, but it does annoy me that often after sex guys think 'oh great she likes me, I'll now start to be unavailable' when after sex we want more contact not less

No Snape Soreen and onion bad combo Im afraid ...nice try though!!!