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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Here we go again. Dating thread 42

999 replies

VoiceofUnreason · 16/02/2013 16:42

Evening all. As you were.

OP posts:

KinNora · 22/02/2013 10:43

It's definitely very frustrating, Mercury ( who is it on here who said 'softlee, softlee catchee monkey' the other day ? ) I'm not the world's most patient person but I found it quite successful in that he soon forgot the 'just kissing' business and climbed aboard the Good Ship Mucky Sex.

I live in hope of finding a man who will shag me twice a day although I doubt the wisdom of putting that on my OD profile.

OhWesternWind · 22/02/2013 10:52

Really bad day for LM today - anniversary things. He's off to visit the grave today with his mum. I sent him a text first thing saying I was thinking of him etc etc. Just hoping he is okay but he won't be, really, I don't think. Hoping he doesn't cancel for tonight as he could probably do with seeing me (or someone) rather than sitting in by himself festering. It's all so hard. Next weekend it will be twenty years (!!!!!) since my own dad died. Cannot believe it. I still miss him so much it makes me cry just to think about him. How can I offer comfort to LM when I know what it's like myself and how it goes away a bit but not really? In fact, I think I miss my dad more now I have the children than I did earlier on.

Just found out that a good friend of mine (female) has been having an affair for several months. Over the last few months, I've been really surprised by the number of my good female friends who have had, are having or are planning to have affairs/sex outside their marriages or LTRs, women who I really like and admire in many ways. I think having been cheated on I don't have a lot of tolerance for this sort of thing. I feel like a right Miss Priss but I can't see how it's alright to cheat. Chuck him, then move on = fine, cheating and deception = not fine.

Oh dear, that was quite depressing, sorry. Although you might be forgiven for thinking otherwise, life is still feeling good.

mercury7 · 22/02/2013 11:13

nothing new about cheating, although it's ugly and messy, as are many other things that go on in relationships, monogamy often just seems unrealistic.

I've been cheated on, I've been cheater, I've been cheatee, I really dont think these things are black and white...not by a long chalk

KinNora · 22/02/2013 11:17

OWW, I'm very lucky in that I've not experienced the death of either of my parents, hopefully just the fact that LM knows that he can rely on you for support gives him some comfort, although I know you've said he finds it hard to open up.

As for the people having affairs, that's very difficult when you've suffered as a result of being on the receiving end of the damage it causes. I strongly suspect that my exh was off shagging other people, however by the time we broke up I was actively hoping that someone was going to take him away (I'd have bought the train ticket for the pair of them to elope and made em a packed lunch each)

Bant · 22/02/2013 11:27

Morning all,

well my 'not-a-date' didn't show last night - but as it was I wasn't that bothered. I had a couple of beers and found a KFC so I could eat some familiar (altho horribly unhealthy) food for the first time in a few days.

Also, I just got told I could get two weeks pay for free to cover the cost of furnishing my flat. Wasn't expecting that. Yay.

Original poster

VoiceofUnreason · 22/02/2013 11:39

ike/miranda - not sure I can give a male perspective on that issue. Firstly, not something I ever had a problem with thankfully (although I don't drink much, nor am I much of an exercise taker). Secondly, been so long, I can't remember what sex is!!!!

OP posts:

JulietteMontague · 22/02/2013 12:14

Miranda that must be very hard difficult to deal with, at least you are able to talk about it. He is otherwise healthy and fit so does sounds like the porn has to stop entirely.

Bant that was a bit rude, seeing as it was a set up suggested by her sister. Yay to furniture shopping though

Snapespeare · 22/02/2013 12:20

kirsty. Congratulations!! What a RELIEF! :)

48 I'm glad you're seeing mr R&R too. :) I just think you're in such a stressful situation at the moment... Do hope it goes well. :)

velvet yay!

miranda sex. Tricky. I guess I tend to think it's not all about orgasms and/or ejaculations. Just because someone doesn't have an orgasm, doesn't mean they don't enjoy being with you or aren't having lots of fun. He still thinks you're sexy! That said, I do understand that it must be incredibly frustrating...

OWW I'd been thinking about your LM recently, poor love. I guess all you can do is be as supportive as possible...it's difficult for you, of course to offer comfort, but I think you're very wrong when you say 'how can I offer comfort to LM when I know what it's like myself?' The loss of your loved one gives you empathy and understanding. those are marvelous qualities.

bant KFC?!?!

No news her, might see nameless on Sunday or Monday. He's a little non committal, saying we shall plan today, so I will leave him to revisit it and come up with an idea....

JulietteMontague · 22/02/2013 12:41

Kirsty Yay for your own place, it's been a long time and it will be all yours

ike1 · 22/02/2013 13:33

Yay Kirst!!!

Hey Kin...Good News!!! Torso Rubber is single! It would be his dream to meet a woman who wants sex twice a day (he is a scorpio afterall) you will have to over look his hypochondriac tendencies though.

In other news I am back from being botoxed I fancy it is smoothing out already ..however forgot that injections hurt ouch.

Going back for the nose to lip fillers next week...

Trouble is I fancy having my ENTIRE face sculpted with filler now ...eek!

Bant · 22/02/2013 13:36

Oh Kirsty I missed your post. Congratulations. I know from experience what it's like to be living with parents after a split - getting my own place was fantastic - freedom at last :)

Bant · 22/02/2013 13:36

And also I can't give any advice on the performance issues. Sorry

ike1 · 22/02/2013 13:47

Yeeees Bant cooooourse you havent...as if any of the blokes are gonna admit to it ..c'mon!!!

OhWesternWind · 22/02/2013 13:48

Whereabouts have you been botoxed Ike? Does it feel really weird when you try to move your face and it doesn't go? It must be really odd because in your head you are frowning or whatever, but on your face you are looking calm and serene.

Bant · 22/02/2013 13:51

ike - no honestly. I mean there have been times when I was literally shagged out, and I wasn't particularly interested in a 4th or 5th time cos I was knackered. And there have been times when I didn't last as long as I'd like because I hadn't seen my girlfriend in weeks and things were all a bit pent up. But never a complete failure.

Original poster

VoiceofUnreason · 22/02/2013 13:53

ike - I genuinely never have had problems of that ilk. But then I've also never got pissed which I assume is often a cause. If I had had, I wouldn't have a problem saying so on here, as it's pretty anonymous.

I am not keen on needles, so you won't ever see me getting Botoxed. Besides, who wants to look like Cliff Richard or Daniel O'Donnell?

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ike1 · 22/02/2013 13:53

Yes that's kind of the beauty of it OWW...I have a face that will insist on expressing all my emotions and I love to frown...stops all that....just have to use my killer glare or snarl...the kids know when I mean business...the birds stop tweeting ...

ike1 · 22/02/2013 13:55

In the words of Adam Ant Bant ' You dont drink, dont smoke...what do you do????(No need to answer..)

ike1 · 22/02/2013 13:56

Not Bant ...that was Voice ...however me think the gentlemen do protest tooo much....eh ladies eh??

Original poster

VoiceofUnreason · 22/02/2013 14:13

ike - no, I do drink. As I think has been mentioned before, I am rather partial to cider (not scrumpy style). I've just never got pissed.

Wonders if Bant's first name is Adam. Would be amusing. Ish.

OP posts:

KinNora · 22/02/2013 14:15

Ooh Ike, has it taken years off you ? Feel free to point Torso Rubber in my direction.

On the old ED subject - the two men that I've known have an issue with it, have both been anxious, over-thinking neurotic types.
( one was also quite well endowed, I used to wonder if he had a problem diverting a large enough volume of blood into it )

ike1 · 22/02/2013 14:17

Oh phew Voice....cant be having ascetics on this thread. Remember Bant and Juliette are founding members of H club.... Meant to say OWW just had the brow area done to stop me looking angry but I can lift my forehead...

ike1 · 22/02/2013 14:22

Bloody hell Kin he would ravage you on the spot he would do ANYTHING you wanted the dirtier the better. Unfortunately for him I am Ms Prissy Knickers really...was not interested in his 'experimentations' and 'bum fun' ideas oh no!He's a catholic greek, nuff said...

Original poster

VoiceofUnreason · 22/02/2013 14:23

OP posts:

ike1 · 22/02/2013 14:24

I reckon the nose to mouth filler will make the biggest difference...thinking of having my 'tear troughs' filled too. Maybe he could reconstruct cheekbones and jaw line while he's at it...

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