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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Here we go again. Dating thread 42

999 replies

VoiceofUnreason · 16/02/2013 16:42

Evening all. As you were.

OP posts:
ike1 · 21/02/2013 13:07

Just off to do my welfare benefits vol work....will catch up later everyone...hope you have good afternoons. x

KinNora · 21/02/2013 13:19

Thank you, OWW, you're so kind.

Yeah, I'm ok, me being fed up tends to be relatively fleeting. Spud and I used to 'talk' for a couple of hours every day via messaging as he lives several hundred miles away, I am generally signed in but usually as 'invisible', he has been repeatedly signing in at times he thinks I will be available.

As the man's an arse, he hasn't left any kind of message, however he did on Sunday ( obviously gathering together the nanoogram of courage he possesses) following a football match that we both had an interest in, when I expressed surprise at receiving his message he claimed that he'd been 'trying to set a header' - he's never done this in his life. What he doesn't know is that I'm fully aware of the amount of times he signs in and that when I experimentally appear online and then switch to invisible again, he logs off.

I know that I should just block him. And profuse apologies for being such a moany, self-indulgent old bint when people have real problems.

KinNora · 21/02/2013 13:21

Pah - nanogram

48howdidthathappen · 21/02/2013 13:27

Thanks Smile

I think my mum just wants to go home. Home assessment has been completed. Front room is getting sorted for mums bedroom. A wet room is replacing the utility room. We are going to buy in extra care. With the best will in the world, her partner is 83.

I do feel better after talking to Mr R&R, was in danger of slamming door shut again. It was nice to just have a shoulder to cry on. He is a little out of his depth I think. Join the fucking club.

Bant · 21/02/2013 13:46

Greetings from Eastern Central Europe (they hate it when you call it the wrong thing, I've found)

Sorry to those of you having a tough time of things, it seems so many crappy things are going on for so many people. I'm not a believer in Karma either, I just agree with OWW - how you treat people in this life often comes back to bite you on the arse - just not always the way you'd think. My dad died old and alone because he'd cut himself off from his family in order to enjoy the life of a bachelor. He always regretted it, but he treated people shittily and eventually they wouldn't put up with it anymore. Not Karma exactly, just what goes around comes around. Or something.

I kind of have a date tonight. I think. Blind. With the sister of someone I got chatting to in a bar a few nights ago.

Okay, it's not a date, there will be 6 of us, but I'm the only single bloke, I've been told she's the only single girl and that I seem like her 'type'.

But she's from Yorkshire, so I doubt it will come to anything.

OhWesternWind · 21/02/2013 13:49

Nora blocking him sounds like a good plan . . . Not as easy to do as to say, I know, but there are enough arses around in life without having an unnecessary one in the picture.

48 sounds like things are moving on for your mum to come home. So much to organise for you and your family though. It's going to be a case of getting into the new routine once she's home, I think, and above all making sure that you keep time for yourself and don't get overwhelmed by it all. Good stuff with Mr R&R. Sometimes we all need a bit of looking after but it can be a bugger to admit it.

KinNora · 21/02/2013 14:14

I bet your mum does just want to go home, being a patient is shit, especially if she's finding it hard to make herself understood - that will really be wearing her out and making her feel frustrated. I know you've said before that her partner is going to find it difficult, hopefully him being close by will do her good in itself and she'll have excellent carers to do the bulk - some of them work absolute wonders.

I completely understand the temptation to cut Mr R&R off, I think it has ( at least when I do it ) its roots in a self preservation instinct because it's very hard to let someone get close when you're feeling vulnerable.

KinNora · 21/02/2013 14:20

I completely agree, OWW. now I just need to give myself a talking to and actually do it

Bant, what do you have against natives of Yorkshire ? (I'll probably completely agree, I'm from the right side of the Pennines). I think you might have been in a traumatic Tetley and 'Nah then, ah speak as ah find' incident in the past.

Bant · 21/02/2013 14:41

Nora - I've got nothing against Yorkshire people at all. Except I live bloody miles away from it when I'm in the UK, so distance is a bit of a problem. It's one thing only being in the UK one third of the month, it's quite another thing then being 300 miles away from a gorgeous girl in Bridlington.

Ooh and they can't make a decent cup of coffee.

KinNora · 21/02/2013 14:55

I see, Bant.

I went out with a man from Sheffield for a while < 'Nam flashback face >

MirandaWest · 21/02/2013 15:11

Bant we can be quite nice in Yorkshire :) Was born in Yorkshire and live here again now (have also spent time on the other side of the Pennines although sound like I am from the Home Counties. Sigh).

MirandaWest · 21/02/2013 15:14

Am quite excited as I get to stay with Mr Nice in his house tonight - usually he comes here as his 17 year old DS has said (and fair enough) that he would feel weird with me spending the night there when he's around but he's staying at a friends house tonight so I get to go there. Must remember my toothbrush (and little else to be honest Wink)

WarmFuzzyFun · 21/02/2013 15:23

Lucky, lucky you Miranda, have fun Envy Envy Smile

WarmFuzzyFun · 21/02/2013 15:25

I have given myself the task of messaging at least one man everyday (yeah, I know) and counting my blessings.

So, here goes: it was good while it lasted with my lovely man, and I had fun.

WarmFuzzyFun · 21/02/2013 15:27

The word 'suitable' should appear before the word 'man' Grin

KinNora · 21/02/2013 15:29

Have a lovely time, Miranda.

WFF, I admire your approach

OhWesternWind · 21/02/2013 15:40

So is your date in the UK or Central Europe, Bant? I'm confused. If she lives near you in Hungary, then Yorkshire's not a problem . . . I'm being very good and refraining from making any Wrong Side comments.

Miranda it all sounds so lovely with you and Mr Nice. So happy for you.

WFF excellent plan, excellent attitude! Have you messaged today's choice yet?

FlorentinePogen · 21/02/2013 15:45

...it's quite another thing then being 300 miles away from a gorgeous girl in Bridlington.

Cambridge to Brid = 300 miles ????? Shock

Try just over half that. Then you can show her how to make real coffee. Take your Chemex and a bag of Ethiopian Yirga Chefe beans.

Nincs mit.

Smile
lubeybooby · 21/02/2013 15:58

Oooh Miranda, have fun :o

I am in need of some affection and looking after. Not gonna get it though, bugger. (DD home, TT working away... hmpf)

Bant · 21/02/2013 16:06

Flo - I believe Yorkshire miles are longer than Real miles. Like dog years, you know :)

The date is over here, but it's the sister of a girl who is getting married to a bloke from here - so she's flying across to meet the family - and, apparently, me :)

Ah, it'll come to nothing. It's not really a date, just a woman who's all wrapped up in her forthcoming nuptials so trying to get her sister married off.

The sister was attractive and funny though. So we'll see

JulietteMontague · 21/02/2013 16:10

Arf at 'But she's from Yorkshire...' We know what you meant Grin. I hope you have a good night out anyway.

Warm if I could find a suitable one a week I'd be happy.

48 I missed that about your Mum. I can't begin to imagine what that must be like.

OhWesternWind · 21/02/2013 16:29

Looking forward to seeing that ole LM tomorrow . . .

I'd said (to myself and probably on here as well) that I was going to try and rein back on things emotionally following the strange conversation we had last month about Feelings and all that sort of shit, when LM said (inter alia) that we were at a crossroads, that he was afraid of getting hurt again etc etc and also later on that he loves me., which he's not said again since. Neither have I!! I felt that maybe things were getting a little bit one-sided with me feeling more for him than he does for me, but now I'm not so sure. His actions seem to say more than his words do. I am still not sure where I stand with him, but I don't know that it matters at the moment. I am not doing very well with reining things back - I must say I am quite keen on this bloke. But I'm going to keep quiet about it at the moment as I don't want to get into any heavy conversations with him, I really don't.

I am, however, going to do the asking for what I want thing, which is different (mainly), just not tomorrow.

KinNora · 21/02/2013 16:40

He always sounds like such a sweet man, OWW. Isn't tomorrow pencilled in as 'adult' cough time ?

WarmFuzzyFun · 21/02/2013 16:49

Juliette, I like bald men (yep, I know) Grin, so I have lots to choose from!

48 I hope you are able to source the care you mum needs and deserves, it will make the world of difference. Also check out voluntary agencies, ie Crossroads and Age Concern who offer services too.

JulietteMontague · 21/02/2013 16:50

Western given that actions speak louder than words, it seems he is still on the road with you... Fwiw I think you are dealing with the whole thing really well and, I think he lurves likes you Grin

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