Welcome to The Dating Thread. Number 40.

[JulietteMontague]

The next chapter...

I'm not sure that pyrotechnics is even an appropriate analogy for human feelings!!
Much of what happens is below the level of conscious awareness so even if you try to analyse it there's a whole lot of stuff that cant really be quantified or put into words

I would go further and say you can never know the real person, the 'real' person is inaccessible, it's the personal experience of being you that no-one else can ever have access to.
Your experience of someone is filtered through your own beliefs and expectations.
Furthermore none of us is a fixed entity, we are all constantly in a state of flux, of becoming something

yep David Beckham is just a big girl...I'd prefer Lemmy from Motorhead :o

exactly.
Its not like you can even chose it either. its just one of those things.
it happens.

I hugely doubt some of you are so measured that would would put feelings into certain catergories, and then deal with them in a calm and measured way.

Look at how many posts, just on this thread alone are just rants, or people being upset, or angry or whatever. You feel what you feel at a time. that does not make you a bad person.

recting to those feelings, does not make you a bad person

be that be crying in a bedroom

eating a ton of cake

drinking too much booze

or licking goats faces.

id agree mercury, see it all the time. people totally fluxomed by a partners behaviour.. that they would never in a million years think they would do.

And yes, its viewed from your filtered, perspective.

Watch, I take issue with you on this. DB is not wet he is lovely, sexy and has an edge. I've had his arm around me, how dare you .

And Mercury, I've gone off you .

we are all looking a Dave though a different lens Scrazy see's sex on legs!

he is wetter than a wet thing.
his edge is soft and pink and fluffy.

:)

Its the well known db effect.

Dave is all yours Scrazy :o

Well it's my claim to fame innit! And you lot are dissing him. In case anyone wonders it he posed for a photo. I didn't DTD with him, he tried but I just had to turn him down .

yeah, i wouldnt put a fight up for him either.
:)

haha, i love random claims to fame. i had a bit of a celeb chef deal going on for a while...

There was a fair bit of competition in the hotel that night, a Miss World party and of course he didn't proposition me but no work of a lie, I looked back and he was still looking!

yes, but hes been with rebecca loos. who wanks pigs on tv.
still, hes pretty to look at.

Nameless texted, he's still feeling a bit under-the-weather, but has had lemsip and paracetamol. he'd still really like to see me, but understands if I want to cancel.

I've promised to be exceptionally kind and gentle to him & if he feels like he's flagging, then he can tell me to go.

He'll have the kettle on for five.

I can't have my wicked way with him when he's got the flu, can i?

Can I?!

Happy Birthday Western, it sounds like you are going to have a lovely day

Snape enjoy that man, every bit of him

Watch some people are posting because they feel something is not quite right and are concerned about you. I also feel something is 'off' and I haven't commented much so far, simply because I have enough of my own stuff going on at the moment and don't have the appetite for a fight.

You may feel you have to defend yourself. Rather than pick up on the way some posters have expressed their unease, maybe look at this knowing the intentions are good towards you and what the overall messages might be.

nothing is off.

im getting a bit fucked off with this now tbh.

not knowing me, who is anyone to comment on me being ' off'

if i dont see or do things the same way as others, does not make me off.... even though there are some on the thread that do thigns the same way as me.

ALso, bearing in mind people in glass houses shouldnt really throw stones, we have one poster who admits her realtionship isnt good, casting judgement at me.. let alone the current and past adventures of some people on here.

I had a date, i faniced him, it didnt lead anywhere, i dumped him when he went cold. What the hell is off about that? just makes no sense.

Watch. If you put stuff out on here, you must expect it to be commented on. We may not agree with what you say, you may not agree with what we say, but that's how forums work. Whenever ANYONE says anything even vaguely out of concern based on things you have posted, you immediately go into defence mode or sometimes throw a strop and threaten to leave the thread (which is what happened on the last occasion). That, in itself, only causes people to be more concerned that they should say something to you because it strengthens their belief that something may be wrong. It's actually quite caring.

Earlier this morning, I made a point about 'the spark'. Because assorted people, not just you, were talking about it. My reply was very generic, did not refer to you, and I never made reference to you. If I am making a specific point to someone, or pick up on what someone said, I will always include that person's name in bold.

Yet YOU began your reply to my comment with "if you read..." and, in effect and intent, point out that I was wrong and had not understood you. When I wasn't even referring to you. But YOU, for some reason, automatically assumed I WAS.

That's being defensive and in this case, as it often is in others, there was absolutely no need to be.

Snape - you can but do you want to catch the flu??

Watch, I'm not sure why this thread has turned.

I get that people worry but this has all turned a bit nasty imo

Goatboy - instant physical attraction and sex under the fling banner. Goatboy doesn't act like it's a fling and acts in a way that leads you to believe there was mainly more. Goatboy then decides you interacting with him at his level is not want he wants and pulls back. You ask him about it and end the fling

I see what happened, a lot of us have been on the receiving end of similar behaviour

Being pulled up on sexual attitudes and behaviour - being a woman that has never needed an emotional connection to have sex, I'm wondering if the people not understanding are people that need the emotions?

Also, as a woman similar to you (without the handstands!) it's more baffling when you are open to casual and state that fact, that men still think you will be clingy and needy. Guessing that comes from other women saying one thing and doing another or men buying into The Rules

Some men understand the concept and are happy with that concept and act accordingly with respect. Hotbut is one of them

The YKW thing - I thought you were mad to meet him and am glad he went ott before you did. I can understand why you wanted to though

I'm not surprised you are getting fucked off with it all tbh, I am and I'm not on the receiving end

people were discussing it off the back of a post where i was told i was needy.
because i want a spark.

Discussing things and calling people needy and insisting people are ' off' is more of a personnal attack. i wouldnt dream of doing it to people, i see no reason why people dont do it to me.

i recall western having a strop when people showed concern for her...
im not the only one.... you defended yourself when i said you were out of order for calling your ex wife a bitch. When somone attacks you, and again, noone has been attacked as openly as me, then you defend yourself.

i didnt leave the thread because of the myrid of pm's i had telling me not to. it wasnt strop because of a disagreement, it was an out and out attack. goading for goading purposes.

Watch as was blatantly obvious in that posting when I called my ex partner a bitch, it was an attempt at humour. Everyone else understood that, it was blatantly obvious in the way it was written and you were the only person who called me out on it. And I would never ever call out anyone on this thread for calling their ex any name under the sun - I wasn't there in their relationship and know nothing about it or what they are like - as is evidenced by the fact that many people call their ex various derogatory names on this thread over the months I've been following and I have never pulled anyone up on it. And I've seen most people on here call their exes far worse than 'bitch'.

I never said you were needy. I never judged your behaviour in any way. To assume that someone who made a comment off the back of another comment might have been aimed at you and therefore you needed to defend it says quite a lot.

And I have to say that I don't see, in MsC's phrase, that this thread has turned nasty. I read what others have posted as showing concern, genuinely.

sorry, i totally disagree with you.