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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

So DH said he was leaving

39 replies

Mosschops30 · 28/01/2013 22:56

Then as he was about to leave he said 'as long as we're agreed on 50/50 split and sell the house ASAP'.

I said er no actually I want to stay here with the dcs and if we did sell I think I'm entitled to more than half.

He went bonkers saying I wouldn't get a penny more, that if I wanted to play nasty then he would too and that he wasn't going anywhere unless I agreed.

He's now still here and has suggested we make a go of things but doesn't actually think anything needs to change

Any advice/opinions? I feel like I'm going crazy

OP posts:

AnonAndOnAndOn · 28/01/2013 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 28/01/2013 23:01

Get legal advice pronto

And tell him it's back to Plan A and he is to fuck off.

AnyFucker · 28/01/2013 23:02

They never simply leave when they say they are going to, do they ?

Tortington · 28/01/2013 23:05

tell him you agree -get l him to fuck off then tell the solicitor not a chance.

SolidGoldBrass · 28/01/2013 23:05

Yes, get legal advice ASAP. And ignore anything he says, just keep repeating 'I am taking legal advice and we will discuss this after I have spoken to my solicitor.'

If he is aggressive and/or violent, don't hesitate to call the police. You do not need his permission to dump him and it is not up to him to decide what happens to the family home.

Original poster

Mosschops30 · 28/01/2013 23:09

Had a free half hour, solicitor says I should be able to get a mesha (sp?) order where I stay in the house with the dcs until youngest is 18 or I cohabit.

She says if I sold before then I would be entitled to larger share of sale as he earns double my salary.

How do I know this is right though. He said he's looked into it and no way would I get more than half.

I don't know what to do, he was evil when I told him to get legal advice

OP posts:

izzyizin · 28/01/2013 23:11

O dear, Mosschops. You should have put your hands behind your back, crossed your fingers, smiled sweetly, and said 'of course' before placing the matter in the hands of a rottweiler solicitor, after which time you could smile sweetly and say up yours fuckwit 'it's out of my hands - you'll have to talk to my lawyer'

If you have reason to believe you may be entitled to legal aid ACT NOW because the rules are changing at the end of March.

AnyFucker · 28/01/2013 23:12

You are taking his shitty word over that of a solicitor ?

Does he have super-duper-wuper property/marital law qualifications over that of ordinary solicitors then ?

Tell him to fucking do one, and you will see him in the family court. I hate these manipulative cunts.

izzyizin · 28/01/2013 23:13

What you've been told sounds right. What he's saying is coming out of his arse of his desire to con you into accepting less than he damn well knows you are entitled to.

izzyizin · 28/01/2013 23:16

Of course he's too tight not going to get legal advice. Five minutes on any google divorce law site has shown him he's stuffed not going to be able to call the shots as to whether or not the marital home gets sold.

Original poster

Mosschops30 · 28/01/2013 23:16

He said its a myth that women come out of divorce better.

Do they??

I just wish he would disappear, I'm so tired of the bickering
I know I should've just agreed

OP posts:

izzyizin · 28/01/2013 23:19

To my way of thinking, 'manipulative cunt' imples a certain intelligence AF.

What Mosschops has got on her hands is a cunning cunt who's only clever in his own head

Bogeyface · 28/01/2013 23:19

Anyone else thinking he has promised his OW a sizable deposit on their new love nest and that she now wont want him without it?

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 28/01/2013 23:19

moss love he is bullshitting you, of course he is. Your solicitor will know much more than him.

Remember that now you are no longer a team, and he has clearly decided to fight dirty. Tell him nothing, and play your cards close to your chest. You cannot trust him.

Have you had a thread going, I haven't seen anything from you for a while and I didn't realise things had got to this point. I'm sorry :(

izzyizin · 28/01/2013 23:22

He says it's a myth that women come out of divorce better? Better than what?

Better than a man who can set up alone free of all encumbrances while the woman stays in the family home and has the burden joy of being a single parent?

Original poster

Mosschops30 · 28/01/2013 23:23

'Bogey* no OW involved.

If I sat back and said yes I'd love to carry on with my loveless, sexless, zero respect marriage then he would happily continue.

I mean who wouldn't, someone goes to work full time, does two degrees, takes kids in morning, picks them up, pays for childcare, pays half the bills, does all the cooking, food shopping, cleaning, washing and kids ironing.
While you go to work, come home, bath kids and put them to bed

OP posts:

izzyizin · 28/01/2013 23:24

Come on, Mosschops - you don't seriously believe a word this despicable piece of gobshite says, do you?

LaurieFairyCake · 28/01/2013 23:24

Don't engage, just say 'that's fine, we should leave it up to the solicitors'.

I said that dozens of times when I was forced to live with the ex for 10 weeks - I spent a lot of time in the bath/my bedroom/with headphones in listening to music.

Original poster

Mosschops30 · 28/01/2013 23:25

alibaba there have been a few threads.
But it's been ongoing since the Xbox incident in October

OP posts:

Bogeyface · 28/01/2013 23:27

Fair enough, sorry.

But I agree that he is bullshitting you, and his "Shit hot legal advice" was probably his mate Dave who knows someone who says that he should get 50%

Catrin · 28/01/2013 23:29

Am having a very similar argument with my ex. He is adamant I have to sell the house NOW because he wants the money. I just very calmly keep advising him to take me to court and let a judge decide on what i need to do. I have neither the money nor the energy to sort it out myself, but jsut by not playing ball he seems to be getting the message that he cannot bully me like he used to, which is REALLY pissing him off.

Original poster

Mosschops30 · 28/01/2013 23:30

So am I right that I would get more than 50% if I pushed?
Because if not I just can't be arsed with the hassle, would rather live in a shed with the dcs.

He's also threatened to fight for custody

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 28/01/2013 23:32

He is talking shit

and like an abusive man

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 28/01/2013 23:33

Let him threaten.

The 16 year old is big enough to make up their own mind, in the eyes of the court. And no judge is going to give full-custody to one or other parent unless there has been abuse or neglect. They would probably say 50/50 residency though.

izzyizin · 28/01/2013 23:35

He's also threatened to fight for custody They always do

But their threats evaporate once lawyers get on to it because these men have no intention of having their freedom curtailed by the constraints of single parenthood.

Here's a Apply one large pinch to every word he says.

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