I don't know what else to say, just need a hand hold tonight.
OW and STBXH are now house hunting 15 mins from my house, and spending EOW with my baby and DS. They have been lying about her being there right up until today. I finally reached the end of my tether, while listening to DS1 tell me all about house hunting with OW all day, having been told he was with only his dad and granny.
So I called STBXH and told him I'm over it, it's time to stop pretending I'm an ogre who can't bear to meet her, and to bring her to handover. If she's going to be on my doorstep and having my children in her home, I need to know who she is. She took my baby DS2 swimming with his dad today - it was his first swim. I am far beyond anger now and I'm just sad about it all :(
Not sure what to say to her, but I would like to take her to one side when STBXH is putting the kids in the car, and say look - I know you and I aren't going to be friends, but my children are my priority, and I need to know they are safe and happy when they're not with me. If you ever don't know what to do, or you're on your own with them and you think they need me, please know that it's ok to call me and I'll be fine with you. Then give her my number.
Is that mad? Or sensible and mature?
This is a moment I need a mumsnet straw poll :(
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tomorrow I hand over my children to the OW for the first time
chocoreturns · 26/01/2013 22:44
Good for the children to travel less I guess. Is it me or is twunt isolating OW? 
That is great news. It's all about being in control isn't it.. And right move snooping is a godsend 
Really pleased for you that you are on good terms with MIL, that will really help too.
In the long term it is a bonus that they are nearby (bleuggghhhh) as kiddos won't miss out on school parties, rugby/football Sunday morning training etc -(standing in the rain every Sunday morning is def a job for divorced fuckwits) when they visit the twunt, but I know only too well how hard it is in the beginning.
Yet again, you have shown how strong you are as you have picked yourself up all over again - bloody brilliant!!
thank you turquoise! And midwife I did think about the isolation thing too, it seems like a very remote and socially dead place to move to. She grew up in the city they live in so it will be a huge culture shock. I said that to MIL, and she get very defensive, telling me that it was exactly what she had done to be with her twunt ex husband and to her, it had been a 'dream house' so no doubt turtle feels the same about this one...
Still, not my problemo. I'm really glad you're both feeling better chezzie and bamboozled I probably will start a new thread in a few weeks when they arrive, just to see me through! Besides, now I've started dating, how can I possibly get through this new stage without all you lot prodding me on encouraging me and helping me to sniff out the twunts be as choosy as I should be?
I spoke to my DA support worker today, she wanted to catch up. She told me to go in hard for his address and do it now, not to wait for him to be here and me sending the children anyway. So I have... I've just emailed saying I won't send them when he moves unless I know where they are going. 
so I am a bit eek now. Still, as my DA person said... better he has a flip out and gets pissy while he's still a 3.5 hour drive away than when he's 10 mins down the road!! And it's much better for him to give it to me officially even though I pretty much know anyway. Because it's about setting precedent. There isn't a single reason why I shouldn't be given it, last year he said I wasn't allowed to know in case I harassed the OW (who I had never contacted). But I still haven't contacted her, EVER, since having her number. So he can't very well say that's the reason again now, can he??
Oh no blackcurrants - I've just emerged from scrubbing a minging shower cubicle 
so, he just gave it to me. Saying there is 'no reason' for us not to share addresses, and can he have mine now? Funny how he changes his tune when he doesn't have the upper hand...
Dating... well, interesting new developments! A close friend of mine has recently become single (you know the one, the one we all have - you should have dated in your twenties, never did, always wondered... yep. He's 'that one' for me) and I'm ashamed to say that my (totally unvoiced) reaction was along the lines of I wonder what a decent time to wait is, before seeing if he fancies meeting up for a few drinks?
And then today, a very gorgeous, funny, articulate, sweet friend of a friend came along to lunch with me and some single mummy friends. We really clicked, laughed at the same stuff, had a bunch of stuff in common. He's texted me tonight to see if I want to meet up. The only slight hesitation I have (and I feel weird even writing it down) is that he's blind, and I don't really know anything about what that would mean if we got involved. It doesn't put me off because it's a disability, I guess I just feel a bit nervous just because it's the unknown? Probably being silly given how much fun he is. And we definitely had a connection. So I've text back saying yes, it would be lovely to get to know him better, so lets have coffee...
Anyone else have any gossip? x
Oooh a gorgeous blind man - how romantic! It wouldn't bother me at all!
no it doesn't bother me, I guess it's a hard feeling to describe - a bit like being a teenager I guess, when you want to start dating but you've never done it before. I'm pretty sure I know the lay of the land but I'm a teeny bit nervous in case I do something wrong and look like an idiot or put him off
How does he text if he's blind? I guess there must be a gadget? He must really like you as a person! 
choco - did you ever watch Ab Fab? All I can think of is the scene where Eddie is gloating that she is thing, in front of her blind friend and then without thinking, she grabs her hands and puts them on her body, thereby giving the truth up
apparently blind people have a very good sense of touch ;-)
But seriously, my friend's H went blind over a number of years, due to a degenerative illness. He is amazing in all the things that he can do.
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Hey keep your options open I'd say!! Sexy friend may come round!!
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