tomorrow I hand over my children to the OW for the first time

[chocoreturns]

I don't know what else to say, just need a hand hold tonight.

OW and STBXH are now house hunting 15 mins from my house, and spending EOW with my baby and DS. They have been lying about her being there right up until today. I finally reached the end of my tether, while listening to DS1 tell me all about house hunting with OW all day, having been told he was with only his dad and granny.

So I called STBXH and told him I'm over it, it's time to stop pretending I'm an ogre who can't bear to meet her, and to bring her to handover. If she's going to be on my doorstep and having my children in her home, I need to know who she is. She took my baby DS2 swimming with his dad today - it was his first swim. I am far beyond anger now and I'm just sad about it all :(

Not sure what to say to her, but I would like to take her to one side when STBXH is putting the kids in the car, and say look - I know you and I aren't going to be friends, but my children are my priority, and I need to know they are safe and happy when they're not with me. If you ever don't know what to do, or you're on your own with them and you think they need me, please know that it's ok to call me and I'll be fine with you. Then give her my number.

Is that mad? Or sensible and mature?

This is a moment I need a mumsnet straw poll :(

How interesting. I wonder has turtle decided she's not going to leave her friends and family to travel to the far end of the country to be with taunt? I have always been a bit surprised that she is happy to spend EOW traveling down to spend time with your DC. Perhaps this is a step too far?

Anyhow, not worth speculating. Glad chip is back on the scene - some hot loving would be fab to read about for you. Perhaps you should mention that quite a lot of people you know have table legs which need fixing.

haha I will do that beryl I'd like to offer him a workout ahem, send some work his way...

I have to confess I've always been mystified as to why she would move to, frankly, the arse-end of the universe to be closer to our children. I get that he wants everyone to be mates and pretend this is all lovely, but she knows that she's not liked or wanted here by me or MIL etc, and if she's paid any attention at all to the deeply rural hell holes villages he's proposing they live in, then I think for a city girl, it's got to look frightening. AND I keep reminding myself that she's only 26 which is just so weird. The whole world is her oyster, and she chooses my chump of an ex and my hometown to move to?? Does. Not. Compute.

Whatev's though... she's not my problem, she's his! Chip is going to call in about an hour for a chat. I also have a date with someone else lined up for lunch time tomorrow, a rather gorgeous chap with a young (4yo) DS who lives with him full time. Time to get out and get on with my life!!

I'm at my parents tonight, so have some help with the wee horrors darlings in the morning. Hurrah :) I hope you're all settling in for fabulous weekends, if anyone else fancies dishing out the gossip feel free - I've got a whole evening to kill tonight!

ooh, gossip! Let's see: my brand new little baby is now 13lbs 8oz and not new or little, which is freaking WEIRD, and I am scared to get out my pre-pregnancy jeans but at the same time SO. BLOODY. BORED. of these 3 pairs of (quite naice) trackies. I think I will compromise on some pre-pregnancy cardies, and pretend not to notice if they don't do up sigh

yeah, that's rubbish gossip, sorry! Did get in some teenage-style snogging on the sofa last night, until the baby woke - a nice reminder that maybe the rest of my life will return at some point. mmn, passionate snogging is ace

The height of my gossip is that I spent an hour on my hands and knees this evening cleaning our kitchen tiles after my bloody crazy cat knocked a bottle of nail varnish onto the floor, smashing the bottle and sending coral coloured nail varnish everywhere. Bloody creature. She's a burmese which we paid a fortune for, and for our money we got a cross-eyed neurotic wrecking machine who has to be carried on my left shoulder most of the time like a baby.

I may be a little high on nail varnish remover fumes at the moment.

hahaha oh beryl I shouldn't laugh but that is really quite a picture :) did you get it all off??

blackcurrants I feel your pain with the pre-pregnancy clothing. After DS1 I never got back into mine. This time around I've managed to drop weight at a frightening pace (over a stone since moving into my new house so far!) but I think that's because I'm as neurotic as Beryl's cat now I'm doing it all on my tod fo' real. I bet your DS2 has still got that completely breathable baby smell still. Ahhhh, babies.

oh yes, the baby smell is still wonderful, though today he needs a bath as it's been a pukey day and he smells a bit sour. . .

I should be tidying and making supper while the baby sleeps, but I am watching telly nd eating chocolate biscuits. it's pretty great.

beryl I'm afraid I also grinned at your misfortune- you described it so amusingly!

I had a lovely mummy-victorious moment. The fuckwit was running late so his boring boring gf who likes to pretend that my girls are her girls, picked up my kids. They left rather unexcitedly, then came back in the door and made a really big point of hugging me and kissing me and saying love you mummy, miss you mummy, all as she was watching. I just wanted to shout - 'I'm the MUMMY - In your face trollop-head'!!!!
[childish - me??]

Beryl - loved the picture you painted!! Hope it all came off! X

Hahaha bamboozled we should get a shirt made up for you with 'Who's the mummy?' on it to wear when she comes round!

blackcurrants I've had to bath DS2 several times a day this week due to SPECTACULAR nappy explosions. I thought I'd got away with using a whole pack of wipes the other day when it went up to his neck and down to his knees, but after painstakingly dressing him again I gave him a cuddle and realised, nope. Poo in the hair again. Strip him down and start again after a bath... sigh the joys!

Oh my god - I love that idea .. Am putting it on my birthday list! X

Stop it you lot - you're all making me broody!! I really think 4 children are enough don't you?!!! one more please

Just have to come out of lurkdom again for a moment to say choco so pleased you're feeling better - no sleep really sucks. And hope you enjoy all your new admirers,doesn't sound like Chip will have any time for chair legs!
bamboozled I love trollop-head, I will be looking for opportunities to use it.

You must get those T shirts

choco it's great that you're feeling better and not so sleep deprived. Woohoo for your new date - where do you find them all ?

bamboozled - ah, the little things eh? Brill of your dc.

Choco How was last night, did the stairgate work again this morning?...

Choco the best thing is that when Chip retrieved his phone ( if his story is true) it was not full of desperate messages from you! Well played.

Enjoy the gloat that T and T's golden dreams are souring...

For those who have asked, yes, I managed to clean the nail varnish off the tiles, and only now need to get some more varnish remover and a q-tip to sort the grout, which is a pinky coral colour.

I have just had to free the cat's paw from the toaster, where she had managed to get her claw stuck in the element . There are 2 cats, a mummy & her (grown up) kitten. They are known respectively as the sensible one and the crazy one.

Choco I hope you don't mind the hi-jack. Are you rolling around on a sawdusty floor at the moment?

Does your mummy cat roll her eyes at her crazy offspring, Beryl?

Choco - FX it is all going tits up then - and she decides not to bother!

Bamboozled - you absolutely need that t-shirt. :)

I don't mind the hijack at all :)

I have not been rolling around in sawdust, sadly. I have however been sleeping like the dead. I went to stay with my parents over the weekend and managed to sleep literally all day on Sunday, as well as some of Saturday. I am feeling a tad more human, but sleep per se is still a work in progress! Thanks to Dr Zeus I am now studying the no cry sleep solution to see what gems I can try out in addition to my baby cage doorgate on DS1's door, and the relentless CC that doesn't appear to be completely working with DS2.

I

I'm glad you got some rest, Choco - this baby is a much better sleeper than DS1 was (he woke every 2 hours for about 8 months, I think, and 6 months of that was while I was working and pumping...argh!) but even so, the couple of times he's done a growth spurty wake every 1 or 2 hours has just KILLED me! I am re-reading my copy of the Pantley No Cry Sleep Solution to see what I can do at this early stage to nudge him into good napping and sleeping habits. I've no idea how I'd do this with two! DS1 giving up his afternoon nap has been hard for us all (not least because he's so tired!) but gosh, it's solidified his sleeping through the night, which is a real boon.
Just think, in a couple of years all this will be a distant memory. And apparently teenage boys have to be peeled out of their beds... one day we will all get more sleep than we need! One sacred, blessed day!

We call our playpen "the baby jail" - door gate, yes, that's right :) We have a "you can play in your room quietly'' rule for the hour after lunch when he used to nap, mainly to give us all a break, and we also do something similar first thing in the morning. It's the only way to stay sane! :)

Wow, that's some great sleep you got there. Thank god for your parents support.

I hope you feel a bit more human again now

Hope you're feeling a bit more human now, after a restful-ish weekend. BC is quite right though about teenagers (not that that helps you now) - they spend a huge amount of time eating and sleeping.

Hi Choco

How's the sleep going? Hope your getting on well with Chip too . Did you manage to sort out the complaint with the Gp surgery? Was just thinking about it this morning for some reason. Xx

hello

I am getting no more sleep yet, although I am not feeding half as much I am still getting up 2 hourly to settle... I am ok though, my parents have helped out enough to let me catch up on some daytime sleeps and some gorgeous single mummies I know came round today, babysat for an hour, did my laundry and my washing up and basically were just bloody brilliant. I feel so blessed with my friends!

And Chip just left. He. Is. HOT. Seriously, sex on bloody legs. Still not DTD (I know you want to know haha) but we are back on track for some fun times, he makes me laugh, he gives me butterflies. I actually want to take it slow because I just KNOW how good it will be when we get there... so much for the perils of internet dating, I am very glad I put myself out there right now!! We are going to sort out babysitters asap for a bit of proper grown up time together, DS2 helpfully woke up every hour on the hour thisevening to make sure we were properly chaperoned lol.

He has most definitely given me a reason to want to be kept up all night long...

The GP surgery hasn't really done anything more, but I saw my GP today who was sympathetic and I have to go in for several appointments over the next few weeks which makes me reluctant to kick up more of a stink. I did notice the receptionist asked me to confirm my address rather than telling me it today though, so I guess that's something. How is everyone? Bamboozled and Chezzie how are your backs? And how are the cats doing? And your scrummy little baby blackcurrants?

Well you sound a lot happier which is great. Chip sounds good too. Make him wait for it, keep him keen

glad to hear things are going well with sexy Chip

DS2 had his eight week checkup today and didn't approve of the jabs, but has been a sweet little pudding all week. He's 13lbs 9oz now and such a smiley gurgly chap, we spent ages this morning just lying next to each other, face to face, chatting.

I am applying for jobs and trying to write my dissertation but mainly I am loving this time with him. He's my last baby and changing so fast, being so big makes that quite intense. He's wearing clothes that DS1 didn't grow into for a few weeks yer, and things like the sleeping bag which was always baggy on DS1 (long baby) is positively snug on DS 2 (long and very round!). The doctor today said. "look at that belly, you look like Santa!" and when he sits up he really does! ahh, baby bliss. I am SO fat, none of my clothes fit, and I am tired and my hairdo is awful but aaah he is so lovely!