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Original poster

Red flag or grossly insensitive or what!!!

214 replies

Flabber · 24/01/2013 16:34

Just spent the night with new man, first night, this morning he said you know you are pretty now but you would be amazing if you lost some weight?

I was dumbstruck, he then said so you gonna lose some weight then

I'm a 14

Very upset I will be honest

OP posts:
sarahseashell · 24/01/2013 18:07

just an absolute dickhead. Think of it as a lucky escape Wink

wiltingfast · 24/01/2013 18:08

You could text

"Actually I've been thinking about what you said and I AM going to lose some weight, about 12 stone sounds right, so goodbye (shame you can't grow a few inches on your cock as fast as I can lose weight).

Don't normally recomment such meanness but he is a PROPER KNOB.

SolidGoldBrass · 24/01/2013 18:09

Remember, you owe this man nothing. Choose your favourite of the rude examples above and text him that. If he replies in any shape or form, send one more text: 'You are dumped. Is that clear? Do not contact me again or I will consider it harassment and involve the police.'

He is either an inadequate little tosspot who has read one of those ludicrous 'How to Be A Massive Stud' books, which suggest that being horrible to women is the way to make them wet themselves with lust, or he is a very nasty, misogynist bully who doesn't consider women to be human at all. Either way, you don't want to have anything more to do with him.

And if this does happen to be your second or third abusive man, stop dating altogether for at least a year while you work on your boundaries and self-esteem.

Yama · 24/01/2013 18:15

You could just text something like, "Look, I'm not looking for anything serious. Think we should leave it. No hard feelings."

Don't show him you are upset. He would like that.

expatinscotland · 24/01/2013 18:15

Don't meet him again. Just tell him what Solid said via text.

TheNorthWitch · 24/01/2013 18:15

Just tell him that you are perfectly happy with being a size 14 and that you have no intention of losing any weight. As he has made it plain that this is not to his liking you have decided not to continue with the relationship. And bin!

SundaysGirl · 24/01/2013 18:16

Hang on a sec...so within weeks of you meeting each other he was calling your hotel room and then texting to check up on you, he is suggesting you change your wardrobe, he is telling you you need to lose weight and then assuming you will do it with a 'pat on the bum', fails to notice you were almost 'in tears' shortly after that comment and now has texted you three times in a row to check where you are the next day as you have not yet replied?

Oh and not to mention him saying he can 'fix' people and will do so with you.

And you are worrying if texting is bad form?

Shock

Um it's almost unbelieveable to be frank that this hasn't led you to be going 'fuck off to the far side of fuck' with no questions asked.

He's a controlling narcissitic little prick. This is like a not very subtle 'how to be an abusive controlling wanker' textbook.

toddlerama · 24/01/2013 18:19

Listen to what these people are telling you. He sounds sinister actually. Don't worry about you tell him. The important thing in this scenario is that you don't become embroiled in his games. The fact that you weren't sure that this is a red flag means you need to cut him off quick smart. One way track to an abusive relationship Sad . One text, then ignore. Delete his number. You can tell him why or not. If it will lead to him wheedling you, don't bother. You don't owe him that.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 24/01/2013 18:20

"Controlling Wankerishness for Dummies..." (working title)

SeriouslyStrongCheddar · 24/01/2013 18:34

What a twat. I recommend texting 'You weren't bad in bed but you would be amazing if your cock was a couple of inches longer. So, you gonna grow a couple of inches? No? Thought not. You're dumped.'

SolidGoldBrass · 24/01/2013 18:45

The fact that you are hesitating over telling this man to stick his head up his arse and fuck himself suggests to me that you do need to do a little work on your boundaries and self esteem before you date anyone again. Everything you say about this man makes it clear he's undesirable. Even if he looks like Johnny Depp, is a millionaire and a phenomenal shag, he's still not worth having, because he is nasty and he hates women.

Charbon · 24/01/2013 19:41

Yes, I don't understand why you're dithering about this, or why you didn't see the signs before you shagged him. That is, unless you've had a series of wankerish men and this one wasn't quite as bad as the last....which is really saying something.

pictish · 24/01/2013 19:50

"Remember you said you were good at fixing people? Well...I don't need fixed. I'm grand just as I am. You're ditched."

Text that ^ or sommat like it.

Agree with everyone else...the more you tell us, the worse he sounds. When he says he's good at fixing people, he means to suit him.
He's a bam pot and you'll be next.
Dumpitty dumpitty dump.

ThreeTomatoes · 24/01/2013 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hissy · 24/01/2013 20:33

Yes to dumping the toad.

"please don't contact me again"

That'll do it.

NicholasTeakozy · 24/01/2013 20:49

He's vile. Get rid.

SarahBumBarer · 24/01/2013 20:54

Dump him. Text "You told me to lose some weight. So I am. You're dumped. There that's 12 stone gone already".

THis is really bad. He should be feeling like the luckiest guy on earth and telling you how sexy/amazing you are. And YOU should have enough self-esteem to tell a guy (especially a new one) who says something like this to you to hit the street!

Original poster
Flabber · 24/01/2013 20:59

I have dumped by text, just said I not happy and don't contact me again.

He replied what are you talking about, and then when I didn't reply he texted again and said have you been drinking?

Turned phone off and deleted number

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 24/01/2013 21:05

I'm laughing here at "Have you been drinking?" As if that's the only reason you would be talking like that.

I wouldn't mention the weight. I'd say last night didn't do anything for me and to be honest I didn't really fancy him that much, so it's unfair to continue.

Hissy · 24/01/2013 21:05

bloody well done.... now, you have some drinking to do.

at least he said something useful!

flubba · 24/01/2013 21:10

Well done you. Now prove him right and get drinking! Wine :o

expatinscotland · 24/01/2013 21:12

Don't bother saying another word to him or contacting him again. Ever. He's a waste of space.

mammadiggingdeep · 24/01/2013 21:28

Well done!!!! What a relief....you're well shot op!!!!

Now go pour yourself a nice big vino and cheers yourself on ditching such a rat before it escalated! :) xx

Herrena · 24/01/2013 21:29

Well done!

However, when he gets back in touch (and I think he will) to find out how on earth you could bear to dump someone as wonderful as him, keep ignoring him but DO save his number on your phone as 'Arsehole', so you know which texts/calls you can safely ignore.

Now go have a drink Grin

Leaverightnow · 24/01/2013 21:38

Never see him again. I ignored comments like this at the of my relationship with my (now) husband and every few years he'll make little comments about weight or appearance. Posted on here about him recently about this sort of thing. Ignore him btw, bet ur gorgeous!