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Original poster

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Wine Witch Into Touch!

999 replies

Mouseface · 23/01/2013 17:50

Hello, I'm Mouse Smile

Welcome to the Bus. We're a group of posters who have been on a journey to here, there and everywhere when it comes to alcohol and the abusing of it.

Some of us drink, some of us don't at all and some of us are trying to get there, really trying to just stop the cycle, break the habit and calm everything down. Some of us are desperate to not be 'that' person anymore.

One Day At A Time or ODAAT.

So what have you got to lose? Weight? Saggy, puffy eyes each morning? False friends? The risk of cancers and other fatal illnesses......... why not join us?

We have a resident MonsterCat, Wolf called Seth and Squid called Barry (best not to ask about Barry! Grin)

And, if you want to see where we've been so far, the links below will show you. The first ever thread is the best by far, because the OP is just like you. And me.

FIRST EVER THREAD

PREVIOUS THREAD

OP posts:
HueyMorganismyboyfriend · 27/01/2013 18:23

Hi babes, 100 days sober today. The good thing is you get your feelings back, the bad thing is..... You get your feelings back. No one in rl (apart from Aa) is remotely bothered. But they are normal folk but to me it is bloody massive.
Xxx

HueyMorganismyboyfriend · 27/01/2013 18:23

Hi babes, 100 days sober today. The good thing is you get your feelings back, the bad thing is..... You get your feelings back. No one in rl (apart from Aa) is remotely bothered. But they are normal folk but to me it is bloody massive.
Xxx

determinedma · 27/01/2013 18:54

huey bloody well done. 100 days is AWESOME! What an encouragement for us.

My bro is in a bad way. He did turn up to see mum on Friday and did go to counselling which is something positive. But he was shitfaced. dirty, smelling of drink. Mum says its the worst she's seen him and that's saying something. he stayed for about 15 minutes, mostly crying and saying how lonely he was and how much he had failed everyone. He hugged her so tightly it hurt, she said, then left. I fear for his life now. I worry less about the wine witch and more about the Grim Reaper to be honest. he says he knows what is wrong and he knows what he has to do, but he cant do it. he has 10 year old twins in a country far away that he hasnt seen since they were babies, and probably never will - its a very long story with faults on both sides but if my path every crosses with that double dealing, money-grabbing, souless BITCH........
Anyway.
Can you all hold him in your thoughts Babes? His name is Richard. He is 51 years old and he is killing himself.

helpyourself · 27/01/2013 18:56

(( huey )) that's fantastic! Grin

helpyourself · 27/01/2013 18:57

Oh Ma! I'm sorry.

HueyMorganismyboyfriend · 27/01/2013 19:23

Really sorry to hear about your brother Ma it must be heartbreaking to see yet be so powerless to do anything about it. It is true what you say. It is a killer and for many people who are questioning their intake it is something that can get a grip of you so easily. A that is why the bus is so bloody vital to folk. Sobriety is a precious gift in my eyes. Not to be fucked about with xx

kotinka · 27/01/2013 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KoalaKube · 27/01/2013 19:30

Alias definately know what you mean about changing the 'habit' good on you with the family - you know it may also be that you're not so wound up prior to seeing mother that has changed the atmosphere.
Huey Wow that's some milestone - well done do you say the 'it works if you work it - so work it you're worth it' thing at your AA meets? I think that's one of my favourite things (even though all I do at mo is turn up and listen!)
Determined will be thinking of Richard, talking about AA, every meeting starts with a moments silence for the alcoholic still suffering - I'll think of Richard when I go tomorrow. My sister died 10 years ago of alcoholism age 58 I know what you're going through -it must be heart-wrenching for you all. Keep strong Ma for yourself, your mum, brother and your own family.

aliasjoey · 27/01/2013 19:39

huey that is fantastic, what a brilliant achievement!

ma sorry to hear about your brother, must be so hard for you and your mum... can he not get into one of those retreats, clinics, I don't know what they are called....

eminemmerdale · 27/01/2013 20:09

ma - thinking of Richard too :( I worked for three years in a homeless day centre and had my heart broken regularly by men (mostly) crying and desperate because of what bastard drink had done. praying he can make a recovery xx

guggenheim · 27/01/2013 20:16

Evening beautiful babes

ma I sometimes use the gratefulness website where you can light a virtual candle - so I'll do that for your brother and you too.

huey and koala Well done. I know exactly what you mean about the feelings and about sobriety being a precious gift. 100 days! I think you should treat yourself to something really nice to celebrate (and then come and tell us about it) Smile

Good luck and best wishes to all the 5:2 babes I won't be joining you because I'm rubbish at any kind of diet, I'll get back to jogging and swimming soon. But I'll be waving the pom poms for any babe brave enough to undertake a diet and the 5: 2 sounds like a good one.

greeneyed · 27/01/2013 20:36

Ma thinking of Richard and you and your family. I can't imagine how helpless you must feel :(

I think most of us here on this bus are in some way anchored by our children, they give us the strength and wherewithal to fight for change. It's so sad he doesn't see his twins - I really hope he can find some light in his darkness to hold on to. I'd second exploring services if you believe he is a danger to himself - I have absolutely no idea what the mental health crisis services are and how you access them. Can you speak to social services? I'm sorry I'm sure you've thought of everything already.

I am holding him in my thoughts Ma and you too.

PurpleWolfe · 27/01/2013 20:40

Oh, Ma, I'm so sorry to hear about Richard. I can't imagine how desperate he must feel to have got this bad. I have no advice but just wanted to send you a long, warm hug and to let you know I'll be thinking of Richard and hope he finds a way back. xxxxxxx

HueyMorganismyboyfriend · 27/01/2013 21:17

Yes koala they say that saying at the end of the meets but it did take a while to work out what the feck they were actually saying. Shall be thinking of your db ma when reflecting tomorrow and to your poor mum. I do cringe when I look back on my antics. Love to all the babes tonight xxx

NewYearNewMia · 27/01/2013 22:00

Oh ((((Ma)))) so sorry to hear about your DB. Sad Sad

Well done Huey on 100 days.

All ok here, although the cake for DD's birthday is a dismal fail. This morning was the first one ever, I think, that I've woken up at my MIL's without a hangover. We shared a bottle of red between three of us with dinner, then had a small glass of port afterwards. Had a couple of glasses of red tonight.

determinedma · 27/01/2013 22:17

Thank you all so much.it seems strange to see his name on here. I wish he could see it and know that there are people out there who understand. Your support means so much

venusandmars · 27/01/2013 23:14

ma thinking of you, and special thoughts for Richard.

greeneyed · 28/01/2013 07:29

Well day one in the 5:2 house. Last ate 6pm yesterday - having cup of tea with skimmed milk for breakfast!

ladame yes wine makes my gastritis worse (as does chocolate :( ) I think that's one of the markers of being a problem drinker _ even when it is making you ill you carry on doing it! - will see how I cope with the fast.

guggenheim · 28/01/2013 08:47

Morning babes

huey koala help- anyone else, just wanted to ask for some info about sponsers in aa.

I'm not ready to 'take on' a sponser yet I want to just keep turing up and listening for a little while yet. I don't know the other people all that well but I will want to do the steps at some point.

So how do you choose a sponser? Should you wait for someone you bond with or just get on with it? Any advice?

Ladamequirit · 28/01/2013 09:25

Ma So sorry to hear about your brother. Sending him warm and hopeful thoughts and same to you and your mum.

No wine last night (yay), just tea a skimmed milk on day 1 of this weeks fast (am conscious of not turning this into diet site). Good luck to all babes wherever you are and for whatever your day brings. xxxxx

aliasjoey · 28/01/2013 09:34

Checking in. Hope everyone is okay this morning?

Day 24 alcohol-free.
Day 1 of diet.

KoalaKube · 28/01/2013 10:06

Morning Babes Gugg I'm like you at the moment bit scared to be honest to take the next step forward and commit to sponsor etc. I've accepted Step 1 and know I am powerless over alcohol and to be honest that's what I'm working through at the moment - learning to live sober, fill my time with actual activities, look after my body and deal with my mind and emotions - I'm somehow throughout all this turning around what was an unmanageable life into one which I am regaining control of. For me that's enough to get on with. I've still to find my higher power, hoping it will find me tbh whatever it is be it mother nature, shared experience (AA) or my own lust for life, I'm really not expecting some religious conversion - I'll embrace it whatever and hope it helps me to move further along the road. I'm not going to rush it.

Ladame don't worry about all the bootcamp and diet stuff It all goes with our desire to lead healthier lives and I think should be encouraged. When I was drinking loads I had lost interest in my appearance completely - even though i hated how I looked every minute every day, wearing same clothes for days, not bathing, hair scraped back and messy, fat, bloated and ill. Now i feel I'm on the road to recovery and now determined to take an active interest in my life, looks and health again - I love that other Babes feel the same. Good luck with your 5:2 my first fast day was yesterday and went well, going to break it in a mo with cup of tea and bath and then off into town for AA and a browse.

I WILL NOT BE DRINKING TODAY

curryeater · 28/01/2013 10:25

Koala, you are an inspiration. Really amazing to hear your story.

Ma, I really feel for you. Nothing has the power to hurt us, and make us feel so powerless, as family. Deep feelings there. Best of luck to you and I do hold Richard in my prayers.

Here are some personal statistics from me:

Walked this January (counted walking, based on bus journeys I did not need to take because was not hungover): 60 miles

Money saved this January (on booze and the bus journeys that I walked instead): £98 (estimated)

Not feeling great, was awful to my family last night.
Maybe should spend some of that saved money on a present for DP to show him that I do love him really.
I hate myself sometimes

Ladame, sorry to hear you didnt enjoy your steak. And had a bad night. I hope you feel better.

have a good day all Babes, so many of you are doing so very very well.

greeneyed · 28/01/2013 11:45

starving....

Well done curry Sorry your still not feeling great :(

Well done Joey Koala and all the other brave and fantastic abstainers out there x

Freetobeme · 28/01/2013 11:46

Ma - sorry to hear about your brother, sounds very difficult, i am thinking of Richard and you, and wishing you both strength and courage.

Clutter - I hope you are having a good day at work, hopefully the thought of going back was a lot worse than the reality.

Huey - wow, 100 days is a fabulous milestone, don't play it down, mark it, celebrate your success and know that you are inspiring at least one bus babe to follow in your footsteps, I really want to be where you are now.

I have not drunk this weekend Smile. I went out for a meal with a few friends on Sat night, and volunteered to drive, so no drinks, no questions asked by anyone and I really didn't mind it.

So was feeling quite pleased with myself...until I started cooking Sunday dinner. God, I wanted a drink. I realised as i was peeling the spuds that i never cook it without indulging in chefs perks. It was bloody boring being stuck in the kitchen without a glass of wine and a few tunes and I got into a right grump with my poor family, not helped by the fact they were all engrossed in the FA cup matches, having a great time, totally oblivious to my pain.

Hennyway, I got through it, so i suppose that's good. But have decided, I am not making another roast for a few weeks, it is too strongly associated with necking wine in the kitchen for me at this early stage.

By the way, do other people's partners drink as normal while they are trying to stop? My DH has promised to support me, but he acted exactly the same way as always this weekend. Ie Sat there slurping a bottle of red next to me on the sofa on Fri and Sun night. I could have done without it tbh. Is it reasonable to ask him to stick to lager (which I don't like) or should I just accept that other people will obviously be drinking wine around me and just treat this as good practice?!