The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Wine Witch Into Touch!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Bus. We're a group of posters who have been on a journey to here, there and everywhere when it comes to alcohol and the abusing of it.

Some of us drink, some of us don't at all and some of us are trying to get there, really trying to just stop the cycle, break the habit and calm everything down. Some of us are desperate to not be 'that' person anymore.

One Day At A Time or ODAAT.

So what have you got to lose? Weight? Saggy, puffy eyes each morning? False friends? The risk of cancers and other fatal illnesses......... why not join us?

We have a resident MonsterCat, Wolf called Seth and Squid called Barry (best not to ask about Barry! )

And, if you want to see where we've been so far, the links below will show you. The first ever thread is the best by far, because the OP is just like you. And me.

FIRST EVER THREAD

PREVIOUS THREAD

two if you're controlled drinking you're on the (regulated) roofrack! The sidecar is for those who fall out of the Bus

alabaster I drink fennel tea (good for after a heavy meal) or lemon & ginger. Agreed the fruit ones often smell nice but taste of nothing

I love fennel tea. And peppemint or spearmint. The lemon fruit one is ok and I really like orange, mango and cinamon. If you have a cold drink, dress it up as a real nice drink, chilled, in a lovely glass, add a bit of fruit if you like that kind of thing. You can afford all the limes you like if you're not buying wine

JWN I've recorded the series and been catching up with it this week. They are a bunch of horrors really though aren't they. I was sad to read that Taylor's husband, Russell, committed suicide last year, I didn't know about that. But they do spend an awful lot of time going on about how great they are. Who are they trying to convince I wonder?

Amazing shoes though.

< shallow >

it is never shallow to admire good shoes!

NCN - i read your post a couple of hours ago and went away to give it some thought - im sorry that you feel that you are being given a hard time by your family but i think you really do need to think about how they may be feeling right now - they have been watching you drinking so much that you now feel you need outside help to stop, they may well be frightened for you, terrified that it wont work, they may well be sick of seeing you drunk, not being aware of how they feel and what their needs are, etc etc, i dont know if you are like me, but i promised for years that i would stop, they heard it so many times that in the end it meant nothing - my dh and dd put up with for me and my shit for years, i wasnt always a nasty abusive drunk, mostly i was a loud, always ready to party drunk, but honestly, to people who love and care for you it dosent matter, a drunk is a drunk is a drunk, a drunk dosent really engage with people, dosent really live family life to the full, dosent really know whats going on with the people around them and a drunk can only fully recognise this once they become sober - looking back at my drinking i can now see why they were so unhappy with me and my behaviour, i really wasnt functioning fully, my dd suffered badly and i just couldnt see it i often felt that i was being unfairly judged by them, that they should feel a bit sorry for me because i was struggling with an addiction, the thing was, they were struggling with my addiction too! - im afraid right now the only thing you can do is suck it up and get on with the business of getting sober! prove to them that you mean what you say, show them on a daily basis that they mean more to you than the bottle

Aw glad so glad your little Nemo is doing better, was really starting to get worried & thought if a parent came to me stating these things I would think go to a&e, glad you took it as caring & didn't think I was sticking my nose in
I have seriously had a completely shit day from start to finish. Got to have a return to work interview due to sickness levels being too high & my line managers boss is to be present too, that doesn't sound too good.
Have just realised I went for a job at the start of January that I didn't get & I'm now convinced it was due to my sickness. I also completed a course sept 2011 & didn't get one of the posts when I qualified when I finished & now thinking this was due to sickness levels.
I've got another job interview next week & now pretty sure my sickness levels are going to hold me back.
I hate my job & had 4 weeks off last summer due to stress. I've also had a few Mondays due to a heavy weekend as after a binge it takes me days to recover. I need to really sort this out if I want to leave where I work.
Sorry for such a ramble just feeling so fed up.
Wishing everyone well & sorry not to nc x

Aww clutter that is a massively stressful job you have! And not one that any old bugger can do. How ridiculous to interview people because they have been ill! Can I suggest you clutch your stomach and lurch towards their desk making cat about to be sick noises? See how long they want to interview you after that fingers crossed for you, of course.

need lots of sympathy for you and the anatabuse sounds like a great idea. I echo what jwn said (so I can seem clever too) but you are beginning your real recovery and this will make the difference your family want from you. Best of luck, you're doing the best thing you can for yourself and them. x

Gulp...I've decided to quit my course. I've really enjoyed it but it's hard. I've spent all term making notes and using a lovely range of highlighter pens but I cannot write this essay. It's not just a block, I'm just very tired mentally. Being ill didn't help either. I think it's sort of linked to my sobriety, but I can't fully explain that. It's an ou course so I can continue to read around the subject but won't go any further with essays. I'm ok about it, I'm just not in a place to tackle it right now. It was a big relief when I talked to dh and made the decision this pm. I took myself out and began some gardening instead
Sorry for the me,me,me post.

feeling really low tonight :( valentines night, steak and champagne for people - even a galss of red wine, but I've sworn to do this for Lent and have to stick to it. I have a lovely dh who has bought me flowers and choccys but just want a sodding drink (or 8) can't eat either, dunno what's wrong. Feel skint and miserable and everything feels wrong :( sorry for self indulgent post. I think I have to force myself to go swimming.

Checking in. Got red roses from dh - reminds me of the old joke:
Two women in the hairdressers and one sees the husband of the other one heading up the road with a bunch of flowers. "Oh" she says" there's yer man away in with a bunch of flowers for you"
Second woman groans, " och, that'll be me spending the weekend on ma back with ma legs in the air then."
" why?" enquires the first woman, " have you not got a vase?"

very good. been swimming and told myself off for being a silly selfish cow and to stfu. It worked.

Oh dear, knew it was too good to last. Why is it so hard. Well done abstaining babes x

ma

Valentine's day is a hard one to abstain on. Well done for trying.

It's hard cos it's normal I know we've had lots of discussions about it but it's just accepted to drink and not drinking feels wrong, even if you know you have a problem with it. DH is sitting downstairs with a few beers - we're not doing valentines tonight, to be honest had virtually forgotten - except for dd who, bless her, had a lovely card through the door from a little boy in her class and then spent the afternoon with him anyway, I digress..we feel that we aren't proper members of society without 'having a drink' it's all so stupid really.

Pants though isint it? Cup of tea before bed and hopefully not feel too bad tomoz . You'd think at my age I would be able to control it x

Btw my first anniversary of not smoking.

oh brilliant I am smoke free since October 21st - longest time since I did three years 7 years back. It does feel so good after a couple of weeks of doing neither - that's a good thing to focus on.

Well done you too. Yes it's a fab feeling. Not the first time I've stopped,either but I think as far as the cigs go I'm done x

What did it for me this time was having the most hideous bronchitis over christmas - first chest pains I have ever had (somehow!) I thought I never ever want to be in this much pain again - still get severe craving but just remember how I was sobbing in the emergency doctors on xmas eve not wanting to breathe because it hurt so much.

On that cheery note how is everyone this morning? MonsterCat is getting to be a complete pain in the bum lately - he is 'at home' now which gives hime extra rights to wander around miawaing and screeching from 4am onwards!! Argh...dd off for a weekend sleepover at lunchtime so am going to be doing a bit more decluttering! Hope evryone is waking up well xx

Well I've been up since 2 throwing up and all self inflicted:-( didn't think I'd drank that much but I really am not doing this again....the rest of this wine box goes down the sink and I will try and join u all in dry Feb(if a little late! Out of interest do all of your dp's know about your alcohol issues? I'm sure mine knows I have issues and due to some huge mistakes in my past the rest of my family have also been made aware but I don't actualy say anythin to my dp about it and now I wil just try and stop but not tell him thats what I'm doing. Maybe its because sometimes I want to have a drink like normal people do but if I say something to him he wil look at me like someone who's fallen off the Waggon iyswim? Sometimes I try and hide wen I've had too much and throw up quietly or if its too bad to hide I've made out I was ill0:) also I wouldn't want to give him anything he could use against me if we broke up. Really going to try bein t total now....one or two just doesn't work for me very often!

mattysmum umm, you might think you've been hiding it from your DH but believe me they can tell when you've been drinking

drinking on Valentines Day... my DD (10) obviously thought it was the done thing, she laid the table for us with wine glasses. Mine had water in it, and DHs had beer...

She came out of school very upset because she'd gone to give her card to her 'boyfriend' and he had given HIS to another girl. We went straight to the sweet shop and bought loads of chocolate. Is this the right message to give her that when your heart is broken you eat chocolate

ROFFLE at ma's joke!!

Haha, no joey you are a very naughty mummy

Well, I had to make three phone calls this week which I have been putting off but this morning I have bitten the bullet and done it. One to the tax man, one to an old friend (difficult situation) and one to the doc. All done and dusted and none as bad as I'd feared.

So babes be brave today, face your fears, you never know they might not be that bad and, boy, does it feel good to have all that behind me before 10am

Anyone for a cuppa?

< puts kettle on >

La la la

matty I know exactly how you feel, my dh is very lade back and though he knows I drink far too much, he tags it to my post
Natal depression and my Crohn's disease which causes me great pain. These things seem to have bought me a get out of jail card which makes him very tolerant. I'm not a particularly bad drunk just not totally present and available as the lovely JWN said earlier, never thought about it but its true, how can you be present, in the moment after a bottle and a half of wine, at best I must be overly loud and talk nonsense.
My dd is 13 she probably thinks everyone drinks every night, I hope I still have time to change this perception. The days after I don't drink seem so productive, I'm almost giddy that I don't have a hangover, it's only the first empty stomach glass that I actually crave, all my troubles become a little blurred, the world looks soft and hazy as does the size of my ass!!! But the truth comes around again and looks worse with the extra half pound. The new wrinkle and the continued self loathing that bottle of wine caused. Sorry for sounding so manic but we can turn it all around if we can find the strength to stop, I keep thinking of Davina McColl, she is vibrant, beautiful, loves life, madly in love and an amazing mum and she gave up booze years ago, I really want to be that person and we can give it a bash together x x x

my dh has seen me through some hideous awful horrible times with drink and is brilliant - however, he really struggles with why I can't just stop after a few. He knows i can't but, as a 'normal' drinker, doesn't understand the craving and desperation I feel wanting more. He also notices the difference in my personality when i have stopped for a while. It must be hard for partners who don't have the same problem. The worst one is eldest dd - she is still terrified that i will return to how I was when she was little :( (blackouts, pissed at school, drinking from 8am etc...) However many times I try to tell that those days, those seriously awful days are gone (although the struggle is still there iyswim) she can't quite believe me - she's 23 and living away from home with her boyfriend, totally independant and happy but still contacts me if there's any thought I may have been 'drinking' So sad :(

babyjane, what a fabulous post, thank you.

clutter, I really feel for you with all your work problems. I know it is easy for me to say from a distance, but if you possibly can, can you try to think of the problem as being your being unwell so often and not your employer's response to your being unwell? What can you do about that? What help can you get?I have been there, pulled into the meeting room with HR to talk about lateness and absence and it was no fun. I turned it around though and it seems like a million years ago. You can too if you get the right help to get better.

gugg, well done on making the decision about your course.

big get well wishes to little Nemo. Hang in there, Mouse.

Our house is falling through :( too many problems on the survey. We are definitely being kicked out of this place so will have to try to find a place to rent. Pray for us!

We have a mystery valentine here - addressed to someone who doesn't live here - our road name is very similar to another one locally so I am thinking of knocking on their door to see if the person lives there, in a cheezy rom com way, to smooth the path of true love ;)

Hi JWN thanks for your response. I do take all that you said on board, all those months of AA taught me loads about the family disease of alcoholism & I listen very carefully to a colleague of mine when talks about what it was like living with her alcoholic husband (she has no idea about my issues so she has no need to soften how it was when talking to me). I think that understanding how it is for everyone else is key for me!

I was feeling pretty sorry for myself yesterday so I apologise for that. I've been laid up in bed for two days with a flu like bug which hasn't helped!

I hope the rest of you are having a good day, it's beautifully sunny here which really lifts the spirits, & I don't mean the ones in a bottle

Dementdma, your joke made me properly chuckle