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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Hey, it's the Dating thread... number 37

999 replies

lubeybooby · 20/01/2013 00:04

Of we got - all dating chit chat here!

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ike1 · 24/01/2013 20:54

Personally that is how I interpreted Bant's words that you both rub each other up the wrong way and he is sometimes quicker to critisise he was being honest. Sure that does not make it right and he probably should have apologised. But I dont think he has ALWAYS been mean infact I have seen him be really supportive of you Watch.

ike1 · 24/01/2013 20:56

That's my opinion Watch, I dont expect support, I stand by it though. If you disagree, you disagree.

lubeybooby · 24/01/2013 20:59

I disagree ike, and watch is right about plenty of others mocking their dates choice of fashion and nothing being said especially not by Bant.

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lubeybooby · 24/01/2013 21:00

PinkPeanuts hello!

Do you keep logging in and out? As that's what I did before to stay on top of the online list.

I can tell you it definitely isn't you anyway!

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ike1 · 24/01/2013 21:02

Possibly Lubes but I dont think he has ALWAYS been mean and aggressive towards Watch. I think they rub each other up the wrong way.

MsArsebiscuit · 24/01/2013 21:02

Okey dokey Ike, that's me and you in the darkened room.

And, as a matter of fact, I agree with Ike about Bant vs Watch - you wind each other up, pointless to let it escalate.

ike1 · 24/01/2013 21:04

Plus Watch is fully able to defend herself...she has strong opinions and is unafraid to voice them

ike1 · 24/01/2013 21:05

Oh Arse I live my life in a darkened room (metaphorically speaking lol)

Bant · 24/01/2013 21:06

No that's bollocks. For some reason watch and I wind each other up. It started with me saying I wanted to filter POF by education as I'd get rid of a larger proportion of txt speakers that way, which watch took as a personal attack. Then it was me saying that people shouldn't start dating when they've got less availability to date than usual as if someone has to wait 3 weeks for a second date they're not likely to. Watch took that as an attack on single mothers. And this one, where she said she ran out because of his clothes, I asked if she felt guilty for acting in a way anyone else would think was shit, at which point she backtracked and talked about hurting cats etc. and I said that was fine then.

Yes watch, you're passive aggressive too, you like throwing comments in needling me and it pisses me off so if you say youve done something which looks shitty I'll respond. I didn't read the threads for a week or so as I didn't have easy Internet access and was moving countries so I don't know what juliette said, or Snape. That last thing about the clothes want a personal attack it was me asking if you didn't see the double standard there.

Ok so we can keep winding each other up or how about you post one more nasty thing about me, I won't respond, and we draw a line under it.

Or we can keep on pissing each other off until one of us or the other or both flounces off the thread again? You have people agreeing with you, I have people agreeing with me, let's just get back to the subject of dating and try not to wind each other up again?

JoylessFucker · 24/01/2013 21:13

The big dust up between Bant & Watch wasn't long ago and yes, there's clearly still bad blood between them Snape's assessment of this particular barney seems spot on.

Watch, with the best will in the world, you do have a tendency to get carried away ... both positively and negatively. You just can't seem to let things alone. When you are concerned that someone is going to get hurt or "do something wrong", rather than simply expressing your view once (or maybe twice), you go on and on and on ... Its felt uncomfortably like badgering to me. Whilst, it is clear you do this from the very best of motives, I am concerned that you seem overly invested in the lives of others. That's not very healthy ... and perhaps you could give some thought to why you do that.

All just my opinion ... feel free to disabuse me, or simply just abuse me Grin

lubeybooby · 24/01/2013 21:14

Oh fucks sake I need a darkened room now too.

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JoylessFucker · 24/01/2013 21:14

Oops sorry ... took too long a-typing. Why don't MNet have an edit button?

FlorentinePogen · 24/01/2013 21:15

.....or how about you post one more nasty thing about me, I won't respond, and we draw a line under it.....

Tell us what you're wearing. If it includes checky shirts, knitted ties, corduroy dungarees and fleece gilets, we'll all post nasty things about you. Hmm

watchoutforthatsnail · 24/01/2013 21:16

bant no, it started when you joined the thead and said women that ' put out too quckly are easy' and those that make you wait too long, dont hold you attention.

I said it was an arsey opion.

i never took the education as a personnal attack, what i do not like is the mocking of people who dont have certain things, which is what you were doing, you said it might make you a snob... those were your words.

the avaliablity one, yep, you were wrong on that too. Its the sweeping statments you make, usually attacking great swathes of people but now we know you like to feel sorry for people as it makes you feel superiour

i didnt run out on the date. I dont know where you got it from, i had a drink with him and then said i had to go. i did not backtrack, but actually, my first post was from my car, on my phone, i updated properly when i got home and wasnt typing on a smart phone.

And then you admit you would have a go at me for things that you wouldnt others. so...... there we go, bullying behaviour.

You cant pretend to be a nice guy when you behave in the opposite fashion.

frankly, i still dont see how not fancying somone is hypocritcal....

and again, you go with the passive agressive ' you post one more nasty thing and then i wont respond' im sorry, that IS passive agressive, that IS bullying.
You have admitted to bullying.

NicholasTeakozy · 24/01/2013 21:16

Watch, you were right to get away. A fleece gilet and a knitted tie?

Bant, I think you're wrong on this one, sorry mate.

Happy birthday Snape, Thanks Wine [rum] [beer] from a microbrewery.

lubeybooby · 24/01/2013 21:17

Joylessfucker it is Bant here today who can't leave it alone

and snapes assesment was not entirely spot on, considering she too has rejected someone for fashion (and small hands) reasons. (and not been jumped on)

Where it was spot on was saying where bant should have left it.

and oh look he's back again, and dare i say twisting things to try and justify his childish behaviour today.

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lubeybooby · 24/01/2013 21:17

Nicholas Flowers

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JoylessFucker · 24/01/2013 21:17

Oh yes, thanks for the reminder: mucho Wine Snape & Flowers

OhWesternWind · 24/01/2013 21:18

Whatever the rights and wrongs of it, it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. Can we leave it now? This sort of thing is no good on a support thread - fine to state your point, but it's when it goes on and on out of all proportion that it gets difficult for everyone else here. Being right isn't the most important thing in the world (a lesson it's taken me a very long time to learn myself).

Bant isn't a troll: he's someone in the same boat as the rest of us who has offered me a lot of support over the last months. As has Watch.

Back to the kmportant stuff - now having a fairly early morning start here at mine then out to a very posh restaurant for lunch. Could really get used to this! (He did ask first if I'd got stuff in). Debating whether to be in the bath or hanging about in some nice underwear when he arrives. Do you think I should?

ike1 · 24/01/2013 21:20

Get in the darkened room Lubes I am about to shut the door..1..2...3

FlorentinePogen · 24/01/2013 21:20

Joyless, concise, succinct and to the point.

lubeybooby · 24/01/2013 21:21

Bant may not be a typical troll but he has admitted trolling watch today - in one sense of the word.

Picking on her when he wouldn't do others

and bringing up the entire history of everything is ridiculous on this thread. and it was bant that started that too.

I am talking only about today.

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Snapespeare · 24/01/2013 21:21

Actually, just for the point of setting things straight, which is important, I've popped back to the last thread and have pleasure in quoting myself. 'Dumbledore was perfectly nice, but had small hands & a leather trenchcoat. It is not to be. Yet another disappointment. At least I don't have to have the STD chat. :-)'.

So I said he was nice I said I wasn't attracted to him because of physical attributes and to extrapolate that there was therefore no spark. People didn't jump down my throat because that part of the post was as an addendum to discussing other things. Not quite the same as saying 'eww, fleece'

But you know. See everything as an attack if you want. I'm going back to the supportive stuff.

lubeybooby · 24/01/2013 21:24

she didn't say ewww fleece though

her first message said the date was dire.

before the fleece thing.

It was clear

and how can watch have said something nice first about the chap who throws stuff at cats when he clearly wasn't? that bit was covered by saying the date was dire.

It was a quick update post, posted on the run. it was quickly explained even though as far as I'm concerned it was OBVIOUS there was more to it anyway.

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lubeybooby · 24/01/2013 21:25

ok anyway I really am shutting up now

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