Hey, it's the Dating thread... number 37

[lubeybooby]

Of we got - all dating chit chat here!

Western it's a series of published art works, nothing identifiable unless you had his work explained to you.

watch - wtaf? leading him on? again i repeat, for any of you lurkers out there who love a bit of victim blaming - watchs profile is as demure and virginal as they come. This twat would have done this to anyone regardless of what their profile was like.

Juliette I think if by googling you saw enough to convince you decide to delete, then it was the right thing to do, if that makes sense? Sounds horrible though, poor you.

I definitely don't deserve applause. I'm a somewhat overweight middleaged woman who has turned down a gorgeous boy who describes me as 'amazingly attractive' and thinks I look 30 (there is no end to the lies men will tell for sex!). I do like him, he's very charming, but he's too young to even contemplate a relationship with (and in any event I know that's not what hes looking for - and if it was it certainly wouldnt be with me!). So I will carry on, and every couple of months, as is the pattern for the last year, he will whatsapp me, flirt a bit, and ask to see me. And I'll try to keep saying no :)

Thank you for the hands.

MsA it was. I really hadn't checked it, peaked, followed on twitter, nothing. Only the fb was there which I have done twice now, and wish I hadn't. No more. The last time I googled him was when we got together so that's not a habit and I've even cleared the cache so nothing will pop up in the search bar etc.

It was a head fuck just being with him. One of the last things he said to me was 'I think I need to go into therapy again'. Oh, the irony

This will pass.

It will pass, Juliette. You had been doing brilliantly anyway and you'll be fine.

I would save this page in your browser bookmarks though just in case you ever need a reminder of why, a bit of extra back up.

juliette, bloody well done to you too. Painful, but worth it for your sanity.

Velvet, pah, you are lovely, which is why he likes you, take the ego boost though. and you do absolutley deserve a round of applause.

and yes, lubey, apparently hes a ' nice guy' but im a bitch.
Luckily i know thats not true and hes a knobber.

Juliette It will pass

Ooh Western, how about quiche? Really easy to make in advance.

Juliette - sorry, my question seems to have touched a nerve for you. :( I think if LovelyMan has a new gf its time to delete...but then I'm really not one to talk!

I think I'm going to take watch's advice and do nothing for a day or two - see how I feel by the end of the week. It's been months since we last spoke, another day or two won't make a difference.

Watch arf at 'leading men on'. Not unless he had a ring through his nose and you were going to market. Yes, knobber.

Velvet we know you are lovely. Just revel in that he wants you.

yoga, it will help to just wait a day or too, and the adrelin rush, or oh shit stomach flips will stop and then you can look at it logically.
Not saying its easy to do, but if you can, is a good way to deal with it.

( said as someone who couldnt get past the ' oh shit stomach flips' for years )

Yoga its ok it needed doing. It's easier to see it when giving out the advice from the outside I tend to have to weigh everything up/check/be absolutely sure about something before making a decision and it galvanised me into checking that I wouldn't see him elsewhere if I deleted. This man had massive ishoos. Seeing a) the published stuff and b) that his gf is a qualified professional has actually reminded me of how shit that was and released me from feeling I should have been able to deal with it.

Juliette - sorry x posts and didn't see you'd already blocked & deleted him. Well done. Sorry about such a headfuck! Hugs xxx

thanks Watch, will wait a few days and see.

That's ok, I can remember the sensation of my churning stomach when I saw another woman's photos online, taken in Maris's flat, when he'd clearly cooked a special meal for her - the pain is just horrendous. I think it gets better, I know that I don't watch the video of him talking about his work on YouTube any more, it's never easy though, is it ?

Sympathy with you too, Yoga, the stomach flippy thing is a bugger.

Velvet, your mature attitude and the allure you hold for a young stud are both admirable. Thank god I don't have the same choice to make.

It appears that I'm meeting Mr Software in the National Portrait Gallery a week on Sunday, he wants to 'treat me to lunch' in the restaurant. What happens if I really like him ? I don't want to like anyone.

the 'gut wrench' I know the gut wrench, the painful longing and all that stuff :(
yes we all know it fades, we look back and absolutely cannot fathom what we saw in that person

we look back and absolutely cannot fathom what we saw in that person

This, if nothing else should be the thing we all stick up on the inside of a cupboard door.

it's just so hard to see someone objectively when you have them up on a pedestal, sunlight beaming from every orifice :o

Allo allo! I'm new to this section and hope its okay to just barge on in?

I've rejoined POF and I just don't get some of it. Why do people reply and answer a question you've asked to try and get to know them better with a dead sentence. I mean, why waste the time replying to me if you don't want to chat? Its like he's just not that into you buuuut he'll reply once anyway. Hmmm.

hiya Sneeze :)
I know what you mean but I say no point wasting time wondering about that kind of thing, just let it wash over you and dont pay attention to people who aren't on your wavelength

Hi sneeze

No answers for you really on why, but if someone does that when they are interested in you, it's their tough luck really that they obviously have no communication skills, and if they are doing it because they are not all that interested but just being polite or something... same result, conversational cul-de-sac... just move on

Juliette it sounds like you've reached absolutely the right conclusion there.

Thanks lubey and mercury :) you are both right. They can go into the "no thanks" pile :D

Yeah just one of those MANY baffling and annoying things about online dating!

Hello :)

Been lurking for a while and have decided to out myself! Been on match for coming on 3 months...seeing someone from there....hmmmm lets say Mr Transistion...so much has just happened for him recently and considering backing off due to all the change he's going to have to process and that a few things haven't really made sense....But thats a whole new story!

I have a match question...I was semi quiet I suppose for a while-put it down to saying how important it is for someone to be silly and fun with children is to me/just one pic/ etc...put some more pics on then it went crazy (well compared to the drips I had before) and was getting 20-30 views per day and about half were winking, and maybe a quarter messaging..sometimes..messaging doesn't seem to happen often for me

anyway...my long winded point is suddenly its stopped...literally had 3 views in 2 weeks and thats it...I have I pressed an invisable button or what have I done?
Not sure whether to renew match...I don't know if I'm ready...and Mr Transition has sometimes not been the most consistent highlighting my potential unreadiness by how rejected it makes me feel...

oops essay over! Think your all fabulously fabulous and love checking in here

x

ps...had one really really polite request for "cam time" (what the hell is that?) declined but wished him luck) but no rudeness at all.... not even rude pic requests...

Sneeze - no idea why they bother but at least it is a little politer than outright ignoring but no point

My coffee went very well, actually a really nice looking, nice person and local. Lots of texting since, maybe another date at the weekend. But we all know how often these things change - but I got a little flutter this morning when I got a text to say hello as he was thinking of me

cam time?
He probably wants you to watch him jerk off via web cam!

Re match, i've not used it but perhaps they were promoting your profile in some way?
I know i get a surge of messages & views if i happen to come up in some 'featured members' section or some such thing