Hey, it's the Dating thread... number 37

[lubeybooby]

Of we got - all dating chit chat here!

Maybe I should rename to MALEVoiceofUnreason?

Watch - see, you're doing it even now, to an extent. Do you think women DON'T behave in exactly that same way? Because I can tell you now that if I was on an OD site and had a photo of me looking like me up there for a week, took the profile down for a week, put back the exact same profile but put up a photo of someone with a really buff body, I wouldn't get far more message in week 3 than in week 1? Of course I would.

48 - WOOHOO!!!! Fab news! I shall have a snifter of cider to celebrate!

It gets better and better they are moving her to local hospital this week, 10 minutes from us, longer visiting hours. No more 2 hour round trips.

My mum is a STAR!!!!!

Of course all men aren't bastards/inadequates/perverts/short.

Just the 95% that haven't been snapped up or are gay. (Sorry, couldn't resist...)

Super -happy for 48s mum! You must be over the moon! :D

48 delurking to say how really pleased I am to hear the brilliant news about your mum. Fantastic, and it will be so much easier to have her nearer to you. Brilliant.

48, really thats just amazing.

Voice, i dont think so.... its still a pic of me. Whatsinteresting is i look really young yet
The age of the men messaging me hasnt changed.

Hello bill and juliet and 48 and grinchie and everyone else who has said hello Thank you for the warm welcomes.

Date offered for friday lunchtime.

I might go. I need to go into town anyway.

Well, Watch, trust me women can be as superficial as men should they wish. I know a guy that actually did just that. His photo with profile, 2 messages received and 3 replies to 20 messages sent in one week. Buffer photo, identical profile, 7 messages received and 17 replies to 20 messages sent in two days. Including many to the same women he messaged a week earlier with the original photo.

Snape - or maybe bisexual!

OWW - good to see you still lurking.

Am now cooking chicken arrabiata. Yummy.

Hello all, still reading despite not dating - after that horrid little man who left me speechless with his shoddy behaviour, and after reading a good deal of bravery on here re OD I think I'll try to focus on RL...yep, all those many opportunities I'm presented with day to day walking the dog or going to the post office. Hmm. Meet up website has nowt round here either. Could really do with new mates too, and a real laugh and distraction. My good friends are all miles away.

So pleased to hear about your mum and other good things 48, my mum was extremely ill for 3 years and it's hell.

And thanks to all those posting who advocate dignity in the face of terrible behaviour, it's heartening that I don't feel as solitary in encountering utter twats.

See, that's an interesting point voiceofReason I've never dated a bisexual guy, in fact, I filter out and I'm not entirely convinced (being a good socialist) that I should be filtering. I'd be interested in others opinions.

watch I'd give him a chance, I think to a degree you are extrapolating your previous experience and whilst it's commendable that you won't take any shot from the chap, I'd meet him to see if there is a real life spark. You might have got off on the wrong foot. He might not quite understand the trials and tribulations of single parent dating.but it's one chance. Just one.

Thanks All

We are a family of 5 sisters, we have had our ups and downs over the years, but when the chips are down we are a force to be reckoned with.

It is mums partners birthday to day. What a gift!

Cant wait to get to Mr R&Rs tonight he has been brilliant. I am very lucky.

Really?? Even though hes not asked me when im free? Even when he asked to come here for a shag having never met me???

Wait, i missed 'dial a shag' saturday night... i'll read back a bit...

Evening all, 48 that's great news

Bant if you are lurking, come back please!

OWW I know you aren't planning to post for a bit, but if you want to PM me please do, I know from both our previous posts we have some similarities in the way we view the world based on past experiences and I'm happy to listen

On my front, all continues to go well with Mr ExArmy, he really is quite lovely and I am very smitten. I was suppose to have a child free weekend but didn't end up that way, they get bored at their dads, so they spent the weekend with me and Mr EXA and it was fab, he hits just the right balance with them and they really like him!

I wouldnt give him a chance. Not because he cancelled, I always give second and even sometimes third chances to people who cancel with genuine reason and not at the 11th hour.

But in fact he didn't cancel, Watch cancelled on him, then he got all (unnecessarily) shirty about it and then - after he calmed down or decided he still wanted a shag or wehatever - had a change of heart.

Seriously it's bullshit. You can always tell the calibre of a person by how they behave when they're on the back foot. And he was rude, plain and simple. He didn't even deserve a first chance if thats the sort of person he is, and he certainly doesn't deserve a second.

48 - that's fantastic news, I really hope her recovery is now well under way

Watch, I would give someone a proper chance if I really liked them. The widower is one of those. Two years ago he was a disappearer, we had met and chatted non stop for a couple of months. He went away on business and was in total contact and there was filth over text. He then vanished off the face of the earth. After a month or so, I sent him an email, asking him to tell me why. He did the decent thing and replied. His MIL had died, his family didn't think he should be dating, he was confused. I wished him well and said say hi when he is in a better place.

Few weeks ago, I saw him on POF and said hi. He is back to chatting and flirting. He has also said he will now not worry what other people think about his future relationships. Will he disappear? Quite possibly but I liked him enough to try again.

Your boy got snappy after you got snappy, but he did apologise. Ask him when he is free, if he is non committal, then tell him you need firm dates due to being incredibly busy, wonderful woman!. If he still is flakey, then bin him

That''s just me though, and as I said before, I am long term single, so my way is prob the wrong way

I can't quite remember everything in context in the last thread, so do correct my understanding if I'm wrong...

Chap ticks all boxes, messages are exchanged, flirty.

This descends into filth (no judgement, we like sex, sex is good) a date is arranged.

He doesn't communicate the day before the date.

You send a text at 2.10 on day of date having arranged baby sitter etc.

He doesn't respond.

You send snitty text about rudeness/manners

He sends equally snitty text about he was going to, but you're a bit demanding so thanks but no.

You apologise for miscommunication.

He apologises for snittyness, being tired.

We all chime in 'bastard ignore him!!!!'

You filth-him-up on a promise and then excuse yourself

He bites and suggests Saturday pop round after the pub for a shag.

See point 3. There's been filth. He thinks he's on a promise.

You're now thinking of meeting him in neutral territory on Friday as you're in town anyway.

Yeah. I'd go. You've filthed and then been outraged when he's tried to set a shag date. You liked him before, there's no reason why he couldn't be an interesting diversion/confirmation of twattiness for an hour or two.

I'm obviously bringing my own experiences into play here but honestly based on those I think anyone getting arsey when THEY are in the wrong is bad news.

A decent man (or woman) wouldn't have done that.

I have had years of men trying to belittle me and make me feel bad for their mistakes, it's a very obvious red flag as far as I'm concerned. It reminds me very much of the way my ExP (who was both physically and emotionally abusive) would have behaved. Not saying this guy is anywhere near that bad, but he's not good either.

I have a bad temper, I say things in the heat of the moment. What I have realised is that all the times that men got all arsey with me, told me I was rude, or a spoilt bitch, or demanding or whatever, it was them and not me. Because there are men who won't do that. And that's how I judge who's worth my effort now, not the ones who are all happy, flirty blahblah, but the ones who will deal with my verbal barbs by not reacting with more of the same, but by calming the situation and - if appropriate - with an apology.

Watch obviously you have to decide what feels right for you, but personally I wouldn't enter into any further discussion with him.

48 that's fantastic news! So happy for you and your family.

Watch, am in two minds about whether you give him another chance, but if you do, definitely on neutral territory.

OWW lovely to see you're still lurking. I've identified with quite a bit of what you've posted about, especially now I appear to be possibly in the early stages of a relationship. Hope you're ok.

I've just read back too

Fri - was let's meet tomorrow if weather is ok, tea at his... no coffee somewhere. He didn't get in touch as he says weather was too bad and thought you wouldn't want to

Then you had major filth

You had a date planned but not confirmed - he didn't confirm. You got arsy, he got arsy, he apologised.

Now wants to meet, at some point but nothing firm. Maybe sat but he has other plans first, Did he say for a shag? or is that what you are assuming?

I do think the filth has blurred the boundarys. I used to do it but now I prefer to do it with people I have actually met and touched.

I would still give him a chance

Bill if you had read the thread, including my updates it was small hands, hands I tell you and pouncing and only thinking about himself. Do keep up .

48 really pleased for you and your amazing Mum.

Possibly going against the grain here ... but I know if someone told me that manners cost nothing, I probably wouldn't react well. Admittedly this isn't something to be proud of and is probably due to me being over-sensitive and not dealing well with criticism.

However, I also have to say that I can't imagine making no contact with someone on the day of a date to firm up arrangements, especially if they'd texted me over 2 hours earlier, so I think he was definitely in the wrong there.

Also, sunday's date? What had you arranged?

Was is all needing to be arranged - as in we will go out on sunday

Or was it a little bit arranged - as in we will meet around 7 at such and such place

He may have thought the plans were in place or had plenty of time to arrange finer details. I have had people be arsy with me for not getting back to them in a timely manner

He may not get at all what it takes to leave the house when you are single parent and thought planning can be done an hour before and as far as he was concerned, he just needed a time and place

OR he might be a complete muppet

But you liked him, this is why it's hurt you. I still would give him one last chance

nope, missed a few points there. date was arranged before filth came up.
he then brought the date forward to friday, for a coffee, said he would let me know. I hear nothing, it gets to 1 ish and i text. he replies and said hes been up and about, was now in the bath and didnt fancy it and presumed i didnt want to because of the snow.

Ok, fair enough, carried on chatting filth happens. he checkes we are on for sunday.

We have no more contact till 1:45 sunday, when i text to see if we are still on.

By 4:10 i havent heard, its been snowing all day, dd is at my mothers and mum was having her over night. Not wanting to waste a babysitter, possibly leaving dd stranded at mums overnight and not being able to get to hers in the morning, costing mother a day at work, i text again. No reply 15 mins later so i tell him im assuming its cancelled and manners cost nothing.

He gets shitty with me.

i send a text to try to explain and then actually PHONE him, which he doesnt pick up.

45 mins later i get a text saying he over reacted and is sorry.

I again try to phone. he doesnt pick up, I get a text saying hes busy running a bath

we swap texts, i invite him over for the evening. he declines due to having a bit of a cold.

Hour or so later its all gone filthy, he says he would like to come over, i tell him i did invite him and this time he blames the snow.

At this point i know its not genuine at all.

I send filth this morning, he responds saying he wants to come and shag me, as i expect he would do. Then i say im not sure, and ask when hes next free. he offeres sat, when he gets back home from being out on the piss with his mate. Again, not really showing hes interested, genune or wants to meet up.

I get fucked off, wind him up and cancel at the last momment.

he says it doesnt matter, hes not going awywhere... though has actually done just that and hasnt replied to my last text 7 hours ago.

so no, he doesnt really deserve another chance, i dont think so.