Hey, it's the Dating thread... number 37

[lubeybooby]

Of we got - all dating chit chat here!

I have said that I'd rather just go ahead and meet, but that I'd do the phone call if he really wanted to. He replied that "It would be nice to chat first" which I think is him saying yes he does really want to but he's not going to push it.

I'm wondering if it's a nerves thing on his part, he told me he's met 4 women so far and commented about how nervous he was and that none of those first dates went any further. Also in that Relationship Needs test or whatever it's called that they have on PoF he's got terrible results for self-esteem and confidence etc, it makes him sounds like he's about to go jump off a bridge at any moment...

Tamoo, that sounds a bit worrying! I've never been on POF (too much of a wimp) so have never seen that relationship needs test, but it seems strange for him to be happy for total strangers to see how poor his self-esteem and confidence are. Most people on dating sites want to appear confident, and low self-esteem isn't generally attractive - I'd worry about what would happen if I didn't like him, and whether that would make his self-esteem even worse.

I'm not knocking people with poor self-esteem as I know I struggle with that myself, but I at least try to hide it for the first few dates!

Tamoo - I personally am not at all fussed about speaking to someone first, but both women I met with OD DID want to chat on the phone first even though a date had been fixed and in both cases were really very long chatty calls. I think it can help break the ice a bit.

Yes it is a worry isn't it, however having said that I think I'd rather be with someone who tended towards the socially awkward and insecure than I would someone brashly confident, I mean I know there's a happy medium but I don't mind a little bit of vulnerability... (famous last words )

By the by I'm not sure of the value of those tests as I did one that said I preferred sex to be 'planned in advance', which is so not like me I can't even tell you, so I hid the test results completely. I must have clicked on the wrong box or something but there was no way I wanted to look like a woman who sits there with a diary going 'Cunnilingus at five on Friday, OK for you?'

He initiated our messaging in the first place so he must have some confidence somewhere...

Voice, sorry if I'm getting you confused with someone else, but I think you posted something about how people are so different - some like lots of texts, some don't, etc. It seems this happens even before meeting - some people would insist on a phone call first while others (like me) would be really put off by anyone who pushed me to speak on the phone first. No wonder it's such a minefield!

Yeah it is off-putting to me, it feel like he wants to give me a bit of an interview IYKWIM? I mean, he's read my profile, seen my photos, messaged me on the site, and texted me several times over several days: surely he's got enough to go on and it's time to just crack on with the first meet?!

Tamoo, you've really made me laugh with the diary for sex thing!

I actually agree with you that I'd prefer someone a bit insecure to someone who's over-confident or arrogant.

What are you planning to do on Saturday?

Tamoo I only ever spoke to one on the phone before meeting, one of the first I got chatting with online. He asked to phone as I was getting a feeling he may be married. Turns out the feeling was way off, he was almost booking a church for us. I didn't meet him.
Never did it again. After that hardly ever gave my number out before a meeting either.

Libby Pleased to hear all going well with you and Mr C

I can hardly believe the fun I am having. Loving every second

coffee (note the small c)

If he's been on 4 rubbish first dates maybe he's introduced the pre-meeting phone call as a kind of screening to save himself some petrol money (he lives out of town).

48 I forgot to mention, I'm so pleased that your mum seems to be improving, and it sounds like you did a great job getting better care for her.

So I sent some heinous photos off to the man who wanted more even though I have at least 8 on my profile. He said he actually likes them and will have to be careful not to wank over them. What do we think ladies...he's not a keeper is he? Shame as his photos are fit but I mean OMG....internet dating is full of people looking for cheap thrills like me!

Honestly Super I would be horrified if some random stranger said that to me. Yuk!!

super - bet he's warming up his laminator now. Yuk

Perhaps he has an off the wall sense of humour superstar? I might say something like that....

watch - sorry he hasn't turned out to be as nice as you thought, though I would possibly give him another chance if I really liked him

Tamoo - I can take or leave a phone call but sometimes it's nice to have a bit of chat before meeting and does break the ice a little. It's not something I ask for though

super - yuk. just yuk, I would bin (but tell him that maybe he should keep his thoughts to himself

No real update from me. I was supposed to go on a date yesterday but it snowed off. Been talking for an age, never ever sorted a date before as he would chat online, then be gone for ages. I think he is looking more for a friend at the moment as his mum had a heart attack last week and he is using me to talk to (it seems) I'm ok with that, feel a bit sorry for him really. Possibly meeting on weds

Still chatting to the lovely widower (who disappeared over 2 years ago due to family issues) Not managed to meet up again but fingers crossed it will be soon

Am reading but not quick enough to keep up these days

Hi. Just joining this thread as I've signed up to online dating in the last few days

Hello from another newbie. Have name changed as my previous user name was a bit too much like...err...my name

Not ready to venture into OD yet - 7 months post marriage split - but am feeling like a teenager as I have developed a crush on an aquaintance who has recently become more of a friend...not liking the feeling at all and have forgotten what to do! It's been a long time since I've felt like this and am desperately trying not make an idiot of myself

Haven't been able to tell anyone as most of my friends are 'shared' friends with DH so I'm telling you all instead

Welcome Kelly

Voice arf at laminator .

Superstar no! with such a smooth talker, how could you resist? I would say what a wanker but...

Watch I'm sorry he turned out to be twat of the day, there is no way you could have seen that coming and remember the one's who are good at charming their way in are very good.

Tamoo you mentioned there might be an educational gap with this one, maybe he hasn't realised the consequences of leaving his assessment open. Also I am wary of men with very low self esteem as imo that is at the route of a lot of prickly, walking on eggshells and sometimes abusive behaviour.

mrs c- really????? hes said about meeting up soon, andyet hasnt actually asked me when im free. I asked if he was free saturday evening, but he said hes meeting a friend, but shouldnt be late... ie, he could see me after, when hes drunk, like some kind of dial a shag. I deserve more than that.

I totally didnt see it coming, my god, i just didnt. Still upset. Not really sure why.

superstar, grim. men do do that. have i told you the ' cum tribute' story. horrible.

I took a new pic last night, when i was still chatting to fuckface. I had 12 hours old make up on, frizzy snowed on hair and was wearing pjs. It turned out good. Friend ive not seen for years thinks i look about 15 in it. Ive uploaded it to all sites. im going to boost my ego chatting to the best looking ones. and then im going to hide. under a slanket. and bacon sandwiches.
till may.

oh, there we go, new pic up on pof, 25 messages in 3 minutes. joy.

Watch I would be upset too. Sometimes, no matter how much we think we know the score, one of them gets to us.

dipping welcome

oh, men are stupidly shallow.

watch - yet another reminder. 'some' men.....

Welcome Kelly and Dipping

Its is mostly fun here. We are all born again teenagers at times.