would you date a transgendered man?

[ecofreeek]

I am in my late 30's and single (divorced). Recently though work I met a man who seemed really nice. We flirted a bit and last weekend he asked me out for a drink. It went really well, nice snog! and we arranged to meet for dinner this week

At dinner he told me that basically he used to be a woman. He has had testosterone treatment for many years and both breasts removed and a hysterectomy. But not the surgery that makes a penis...

I really like him. But I'm a bit freaked out. I guess that's why he told me 'early' in our dating... I dont want any more children s thats not an issue... its the whole man thing - he looks like a man, acts like a man and I would never have guessed that biologically he is not a male...

the sex thing ....

would you date a transgendered man >?

Oh well.

Tony

Story of my life

But thanks for being so helpful, msrisotto

"An opinion can still be ignorant, and it's silly and naive to say otherwise."

Well, obviously.

However, I will defend to the death the right for a person to say where, when and with whom they choose to have sex.

I do wonder whether all the "oh, go on, you never know, you might like it" posters would be saying the same if the OP was a man, and the prospective partner a m/f transgender person. I suspect not.

The unspoken feeing that women should be sexually available at all times is still very strong.

Oh, and I didn't understand Loquace's post either.

Oh, seeker, that's not what I meant about the ignorance. Of course people have the right to choose with whom they have sex. You'd never find me saying otherwise, and I'm sorry if it came across like that. Absolutely not what I meant.

And I would never be one of the "go on, you might like it" people.

Loquaces post made sense to me.

Particularly;

If all people want from this debate is to sit around feeling more "informed and right" than anybody else, then have the fuck at it

If someone poses a valid question that is met with 'oh thats is sooo ignorant' what is the point?

An opinion can still be ignorant, and it's silly and naive to say otherwise

Purely because it differs from yours? because that is the scenario Im talking about, not opinions in general.

How did I miss this?

Why do I always get a sneaking feeling that many of the people on threads like this have never knowingly met a transgendered person? Or, for that matter, a lesbian or a gay man.....

Obviously, I know many have, so no need for self-justification.

Because it helps you disregard opinions you disagree with in a "they probably don't know what they are talking about" sort of way?

Honestly? Some of you genuinely think that opinions, which are by definition not necessarily based in fact, are only considered ignorant by people who disagree with them?

Projecting much?

How is ignorance on this or any issue to be addresses if the only answers to a variety of questions are:

"You're so ignorant"
"You're not really straight you only think you are"
"You're vanilla and boring"

And, worst of all:

"Why not try it. You might like it".

So it's ok to pressure a woman to have sex with someone she's not comfortable with, as long as it's for the sake of preserving a transgendered man's feelings? I've seen it all now!

I didn't say or imply any of those things, apart from (sort of) the first one. I have already explained that my use of the word 'ignorant' was in no way directed at anyone who chooses not to have sex with anyone, for any reason.

The ignorance is shown by those who choose to apply their own definitions to the issue of transgender.

So long as you aren't squeamish about the plumbing and your up to speed with the deal, why not.

When I was a young woman some straight women used to get very overexcited if they had a friend who happened to be gay. (a gay man, obviously, lesbians were still a bit too.....exotic). And sometimes they used to let gay men get away with appalling behaviour, and defend them to the hilt because they were so excited by their own open mindedness and liberalism. I do sometimes wonder if there's is an element of that thinking around transgender issues. "Of course it wouldn't matter to me if my boyfriend had a penis or not - I'm far too open minded to worry about little things like that!"

That wasn't aimed at you specifically, Toby.

It's more an observation having read the thread.

There's a lot of shouting about ignorance and how boring people are for daring to be heterosexual! Even posters going so far as to say they're not really heterosexual. Comments that wouldn't be tolerated the other way around I'm guessing!

There doesn't seem to be any real attempt to combat the ignorance with informed and well articulated debate however. Surely the way to address ignorance is with information not insults?

Stop at me Hully and start useing creepy wee brackets to tell me...

Because I am perilously close to that point.

I am beginning to think I am too "only got four o levels" for this debate. You need a fucking degree in dancing on the head of pin to understand half of it.

I'm all trangendered out after two days of JB.

It is not appropriate or "right on" to imply that womens' sexual preferences are a form of "squeamishness"

Please to see long involved and not pretty history of female sexual encounteres being everybodies' business except hers.

Hully

But there is something very compelling about it, becuase it is a clash, or maybe better a "hard to mesh" of two values I hold dear. One-feminism Two-Not being a selfish unaccepting git in the face of the pain/fears of a minority who have seriously got the thin edge of the wedge.

It's like trying to do a really complicated jigsaw without the box so you can't see where all the bits are supposed to go.

Did I ever mention that I hate jigsaws ?

Well I do now.

I know

But I must work

must

must stay away

I have to do all yesterday's work as well as today's

DAMN YOU JB