The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Are Going To Need A Bigger Bus!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a place of solace, support and sanctuary, but also it's also a Bus full of chatterboxes, waffling on about all sorts!

Our aim this year is to kick the WineWitch or WW into touch and get sober!

Some of the Babes on board are doing Dry January, some drink in moderation, some just drink. Some of us are sober, some of us are trying so very, very hard to be.

Some of us have been dry for days, weeks, months and some of us years...... some of us are just starting out and are scared of what stopping drinking means. It's not forever, it's just for today if that's what you want.

We have a saying on the Bus One Day At A Time. Or ODAAT

Take each moment, each day and each blip as it comes.

Although some Babes have been here a while and kind of 'know' each other, we all have different lives, different roles to play, different places to sit on the Bus, but we ALL have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol and we're here because we want that to change; for the better.

EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE so don't be afraid to just jump right in and say hello. Post as much or as little as you like! It's all up to you.

For those who want to catch up - here is the PREVIOUS THREAD

And the first ever thread, with links to the others over the last almost 3 years! FIRST THREAD

Joey I'm another anxiety sufferer and understand exactly what you are saying. I get on we'll on anti-ds and have done for years but I know that without them I will always be anxious, and you're right that's just who I am and accepting it would be much easier.
Jiminy hello, I'm new here too (my d-day was yesterday). Hope you're ok.
Curry hello :) sorry you're not feeling brilliant. To be honest I'm not either. I was hoping to feel amazing and sparkly today but I've just felt tired and low. Not fair!!

I had half a bottle of wine in the fridge from the other night. I used it in a pasta sauce. My mouth watered but I ignored it!! I didn't even eat the pasta either but the rest of the family enjoyed it :) About to have a big mug of tea.....

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Welcome to Jiminy and Casa

Greeny - hey you lovely woman, great find on YouTube! - 'How To Quit'. I hope you don't mind but I wanted to write it out and post it here if that's okay for those who can't watch or didn't watch it......

It's a young girl, with strips of paper, with written messages, thoughts on. It's brilliant. She rocks. She is a Brave Babe for sure.

PRINT THIS OUT AND PUT IT ON YOUR FRIDGE!

Here goes.....

When I was younger, alcohol said "Let's go have some fun", "okay!", My first drink led to another....and ultimately to feeling shitey..... Doing and saying things that weren't 100% me.... Doing and saying things I'm not proud of. Hangovers. YUK! Sure....laughs were had, dancing a plenty, it's simply time to let go of what doesn't serve me so that I can serve others, BETTER!

I take my life seriously. My time here is limited. LIFE IS AMAZING. Time is not to be 'wasted'. I want to be FULLY PRESENT, FOR ALL OF IT! I don't need a reason to be happy, I'M HAPPY! Alcohol is a depressant, why would I willingly depress myself?! NO WAY. NO MORE.

When I want to let loose, I choose to step even more fully into the adventure of life. When I want to get up and dance, I'LL DANCE. I'LL SING! I'LL CELEBRATE LIFE! It's about living everyday to the fullest. GROWING. Doing what scares the hell out of me. (Weekends are great for those kind of activities) I do what makes me COME ALIVE!

Because the world needs me to be ALIVE. AWAKE. PERIOD. I encourage you to OPEN YOUR WINGS. FLY! Let your heart out to play. Let nothing dim your LIGHT! SHINE IT BRIGHT! Love is all we need.

I applaud this, I think that if we can pull ourselves together, bit by bit. Find out what makes us unhappy and turn that into happy, try, just try to feel the reasons and make them something that can be dealt with. Break them down, small chunks, smaller bits, tiny fragments of trouble...... they're nothing are they?

Yes, we all have BIG WORRIES. Money. Marriage. Children. Pets. Bills. Unexpected shit..... break it down, prioritise it, deal with it carefully, sensibly and all of a sudden you have a plan as to how to bail yourself out of the shit.

I know that works for me. Well, I know that now. I learnt the hard way..... I can deal with small. I can't deal with BIG FUCK OFF stuff. But one day, who knows, maybe I will.

Nemo is poorly so I'm off for the night again. Take care Babes xxxxxx

Mouse Thank you so much for writing that down (must have taken you ages), I will print it off and put it my diary - I thought you would like it and really glad you watched it.

I'm sorry nemo is poorly - hope you both get some sleep xx

Thank you for printing that mouse. green that was an amazing find on t'net. Is there a back story to it? or is she just an amazing girl?

malinky well done. I would always eye up the 1/2 bottle of wine an decide that I ought to have it, even when I really didn't want any more. How stupid is that? Tea is much nicer anyway.

After joey's great post earlier I've gone all introspective and thoughtful.Thankfully I'm too knackered to share (phew!) and I'm off to bed with Hilary again.

Ohh no- wait. This is what I do in the evenings now: I climb into bed with ds for a long toddler snuggle and a chat.He loves this time and puts an imaginary seatbelt on me to keep me next to him.

This is what I used to do: open the bottle to the theme tune of the Archers, rush ds through bedtime stories because I wanted another glass. Get all grumpy because he dawdled his way through bedtime. Breathe boozy fumes all over him when kissing him goodnight.
Big improvement really.

That bedtime routine sounds familiar guggs It's great to be fully present with your little one as opposed to wishing the time away till you can have a drink.

I found the Link on the soberistas website under personal stories. A member posting a personal story stated the girl was her friend and she'd sent her the video when they had both committed to giving up drinking. I think I will watch it often

Who's Hilary? Another Squid?

Todays posts have been very useful - getting to grips with the reasons that we drink too much.
i'll be honest. I havent had an alcohol free day but neither have i had a bottle and a half of wine.
MrsMalinky, i think we are sitting next to each other on the bus, i am also a SAHM and i have realised that boredom is big problem for me. My dh works away a lot of the time which doesnt help.

For those of us who love our families but who find being a SAHM not totally fulfilling what options are there to rectify this?

You can tell that girl in the video is sober because she can pick up a million bits of paper in the right order without getting into a muddle. ;)

Not a great day, dear Babes. exhausted, tearful, ending in a row because I am not affectionate enough. I know. this relationship is just another thing i don't have the energy to do right.

feeling very close to how I felt in the summer when I broke down, no idea what to do about it. I keep thinking I will be ok and then something like this evening comes out of the blue - thought the day was over, thought I had got through everything I have to get through and I find no, I am now having to defend myself at home because I'm not nice enough. Asked what that means, asked what I should be doing. Also wanted to ask what I should be doing it instead of but couldn't finish that sentence.
I know that's not the right attitude but you know I just hang on. I don't expect to enjoy life and I think I am ok if I am not suicidal. It doesn't make me a fun person obviously.
I was wandering about in the snow this morning crying because I was so cold and tired and the trains were so fucked and it was too far to go home and too cold and I had too much work to do and we can't afford the heating at home; kept turning back to go to work because that is where I was supposed to be going and at least it is heated; then realising I was not in control of all the tears and who knows when the train was coming and turning back towards home; then back to the station, etc etc. It was crazy like a rat in a cage. This is deranged behaviour and is going to lead to something bad and difficult and embarassing like when I had to be led from my desk because I couldn't stop crying. But I don't know what to do. When this happened in the summer I promised myself I would watch out and do something if it was going to happen again. But now I don't know what. I don't know what there is that can be done.

Sorry to go on. just wanted to talk to someone
no desire to drink though which is good, just very very tired
I think I am not a nice person really. I think I can come out of myself and pretend to be nice and charming and fun when I am drunk but I have to pay so much back later by borrowing energy I can't afford. but if I don't drink then no one wants to be with me

looking at 2 bed places for me and the girls knowing I can't afford to live alone; knowing this is not a good relationship

hey everybody, some really great posts on today - for me it's all about letting thet final final voice of reason telling me you cannot drink stop pissing about and accept it It's always so close - every time I stop, I think this is it, but always end up, well not how I was (haven't started the day with white cider for years ) but getting to the point when I am drinking far far too much. I still don't know if this is the time, I am just doing it day to day, and so far feeling okay!
Bloody freezing today - my bike lock was frozen when i got to work and I had to stand on the street looking like a berk for about 20 minutes! DH and DD have been poorly today - dh still in bed which is unheard of - he has had four days off sick in 8 years so far - and that was when he had campylobactor, and the doctor was genuinely astounded that he hadn't died - he should have been in hospital on a drip - so I'm keeping a close eye on him now - think it's just a cold-y bug but taking no chances. DD fine and back to school tomorrow.

Lots of love and thoughts to everyone struggling and not struggling - you know what I mean xxx night night.

Oh curry when can you get to your GP you need to talk to a health professional, you sound depressed. ((Hugs)) x

curry do you need to go back to the doctor and check your meds? and is there anyone you can talk to in real life?

Oh Curry I've got nothing constructive to say at the moment but just wanted to give you a big (((((hug))))) Can you talk to your GP? I'm sending you a huge virtual bowl of steaming molten macaroni cheese, topped with crispy breadcrumbs and strong cheddar! x

Joey yes I think it's about accepting ourselves as we are and forgiving and loving ourselves, and then thinking of healthy ways to cope and move forward. Much easier said than done, I know, I certainly don't feel much like I'm managing it at the moment.

Night to all the Babes, old and new, all tucked up warm on Gerald.

Oh curry your post is so sad, huge hugs for you (((( )))) the way you describe your feelings is how I feel for days after drinking & I've been reading a lot about how alcohol is a depressant. You say that at the moment your not drinking but still feeling so so low & sad. It does sound like you need a little help to get you over these awful feelings. Can you go see your GP? Can you go to citizens advice to speak about housing situation?
I know how overwhelming the feelings are that life is shit. I feel trapped with my dh in a mortgage that is crippling us, we have been interest only for 5 years & our house has lost nearly £20k in value so basically we're screwed! I so hear where your coming from. Could you be signed off for a couple of weeks? If your not in the right frame of mind then your not going to be present at work & I think you need to listen to your warning signs.
I know this week due to severe binge at the weekend that I couldn't of gone to work. I've phoned in sick all week, I know this is wrong but also know I may of ha a melt down. But for me I know my low mood is due to the ridiculous amounts of wine but yours sounds like depression & sounds like you need help.
Please go & speak to someone or phone Someone for help xx

Curry, firstly well done for posting how you were feeling. That is a brilliant strategy and we will always be here to support you, so please keep posting.

Secondly, when people complain to us, it is rarely actually about us. It says more about their mood. I know this is of little help to you but please try to bear that in mind when others are critical of you. We all do it to some extent, especially to those closest to us.

Thirdly, some practical advice. When you feel like you did yesterday and don't know where to turn, just walk or take a bus to your doctors surgery. Even if you just sit there to warm up for a bit and have a think. They will look after you and hopefully be able to slot you in with an appointment.

Look after yourself today, your needs are just as important as anyone else's. You wouldn't hesitate to ask for help if you had a broken leg, so please don't try to put on a brave face when you are feeling so low x

I x posted with curry. :( so sorry.

Good morning babes, boy am I glad to be back, missed you all heaps. curry and clutter I'm sorry to hear you both sounding so down, I really hate the wine witch today, whilst being very poorly with crohn's I convinced dh that wine would help with high anxiety levels caused by large doses of steroids, this is true it does but as that amazing video says our time here is limited and I'm messing around with a body that's already in a fair bit of trouble. Anyway I'm back on the bus (feel
Very moved by that video as though she was talking to me) as long as we keep talking keep posting we will eventually be able to sing the wicked witch is dead, thanks for all your posts asking after me x

Sorry to hear you feeling so low curry. I would also head to the GP to get some help. Poor you ((((curry))))

guggenheim your bedroom routine sounds horribly familiar. I was rushing the kids off to bed too, skipping that second bedtime story because I wanted to get back downstairs for "mummy time" (translation= wine). I know I am a much nicer mummy when I'm not drinking.

casa we're cosied up on the same seat on this bus - my husband travels a lot too. I don't usually drink when he's away funnily enough but when he comes home I hit it hard. It's something to do with the responsibility being removed a little I think. I am struggling with the SAHM thing too, particularly as I'm often alone in the evenings. I have to make sure I get lots of "social" time during the day.

Well day 3 here and I'm still feeling a bit low - possibly still from my binge on Sunday I guess. Hoping I start feeling a bit more bouncy soon. Have a good day everyone x

Glad your back and on track babyjane new day, new start. I too felt like that the girl in the video was saying her message jut for me, it resonates completely with what drinking means for me. I think I am slowly realising that I can't drink alcohol in general and know that wine is the absolute pits for me & those around me. I would love to sing "ding dong the witch is dead, the wicked witch, the witch is dead" then see everything in beautiful colour and pop on those ruby red slippers to feel alive & present in my life xx

Just to say ((( ))) Curry, others have offered some great ideas - especially Faire. I hope you take some comfort from the fact that there are people on here who care about you, however, I think that help in Real Life is necessary for you to start healing properly. I hope today is easier for you.

Baby Glad you seem a bit more 'up' today. Clutter, hugs Sweetpea, hope you are feeling OK today.

Morning, thankyou for all the advice and encouragement.
Very wobbly and teary today.
Should probably see dr but very busy at work, also haven't had much help from them in the past, also I like coming to work in the mornings because it is warm and the people and the work distract me and being at work early makes me feel like I am doing something right, just head in the sand I suppose. Just want to get out of the house and to a warm bright place.

I don't think I am like the girl in the video, she is saying she is stopping drinking because she can contribute more without it. I don't have a light to shine. I think things are hard with dp because we don't drink together any more. that is not the only reason and I am not going to take to drink again because of that. but it is not easy for me to be a nice outgoing person and I do use drink for that and I am very enclosed in my own self without it and I think dp is lonely.

Had a shouty row with dp this morning because I am so angry with him. Feel bad about this because the girls must have heard.

Day 7

Have a good day all Babes. I admire you all so much.

Oh curry you do have a light to shine and lots to contribute, you have your job, girls, DP - the world needs you! You are so down on yourself it makes me sad :( please try to show yourself a little love and care - you are worth something x

feeling worthless, crying all the time - classic signs of depression - please see GP - doesn't mean you have to go off sick.

We admire you too and you have contributed positively to this thread - your recent comment about inertia is one of the most thought provoking I have read on here and has really struck a chord in me. xx

curry I don't know you in RL but your posts are wonderful, you
Obviously care very much for the your partner and the
Girls, you are clearly valued at work and to be honest all that aside we think your amazing. It's still early days and your body and
Mind will still be adjusting to life without wine, you sound as though you are suffering from depression and self esteem issues, for now just stay close to us here and let us support you, we love you girlfriend, SOBER x x

Thanks for all the encouragement
Hope all babes are having a good day!