The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Are Going To Need A Bigger Bus!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a place of solace, support and sanctuary, but also it's also a Bus full of chatterboxes, waffling on about all sorts!

Our aim this year is to kick the WineWitch or WW into touch and get sober!

Some of the Babes on board are doing Dry January, some drink in moderation, some just drink. Some of us are sober, some of us are trying so very, very hard to be.

Some of us have been dry for days, weeks, months and some of us years...... some of us are just starting out and are scared of what stopping drinking means. It's not forever, it's just for today if that's what you want.

We have a saying on the Bus One Day At A Time. Or ODAAT

Take each moment, each day and each blip as it comes.

Although some Babes have been here a while and kind of 'know' each other, we all have different lives, different roles to play, different places to sit on the Bus, but we ALL have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol and we're here because we want that to change; for the better.

EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE so don't be afraid to just jump right in and say hello. Post as much or as little as you like! It's all up to you.

For those who want to catch up - here is the PREVIOUS THREAD

And the first ever thread, with links to the others over the last almost 3 years! FIRST THREAD

Hi clutter,

Don't dwell on it (( )). It's happened to all of us and it sucks but today is a new start. Honestly,everyone here has done things when drunk that they wouldn't dream of doing while sober (ok, just me then ) I'm not proud of it but after a day or two no one cares or thinks about it again.

This is what booze does to us, it's horrible. It kind of took all of your choices away from you that night.

Hope today goes well, drink lots of water and get to bed early. Will be thinking of you today. x

Thank you fairenuff and guggen I'm jut so annoyed at myself & the shame feels almost too much to bear! I feel like a dr Jekyll & mr hyde where I have a split personality & there is me who works as a nurse, keeps a home, is kind & caring toy friends, family, children. Then there is the drunk, hungover me who I dislike. Who acts loud & obnoxious, is a complete cow to my dh & a shit mum for days. I know I need to get a grip & I so so appreciate you wonderful babes taking the time to reply to me & help me to stop wallowing! What the after effects of alcohol are doing to me feels like a kind of mental torture. It's telling me I'm weak, useless, fat, ugly, worthless. Drinking wine is not worth this. Normally I'm pretty happy & can shake feelings like this off. I just feel such an addiction to wine. Vodka, cider, breezers don't make me the scary drunk way or give me these awful hangovers like wine does yet I go back to wine again and again!
Going to try really hard to snap out of this

Morning Babesbeen reading but not posting as I am trying to focus on work and community commitments at the moment as have deadlines for both.

It's funny some of the posts recently got me thinking ' what if alcohol/wine/spirits/beer/cider whatever' were a pill a medication prescribed by a doctor for whatever ails you ? We take the pill, it makes us initially happy and euphoric, comfortable but then increasingly drowsy, for some weepy and melancholic, for some bolshy and argumentative, for some aggresive, it makes us black out and not remember events, on waking we feel terrible, regretful and ill, after prolonged use we suffer weight gain, skin problems, bottom problems, skin ageing, liver problems and eventually wet-brain, if we continue taking for long periods of time we are addicted, some of us will die - was whatever the intitial problem worth taking this pill ?

I bet you'd be back at the Doctor saying this isn't working, I'm alergic to these, its not doing what it says on the bottle, its making me worse not better, these pills should not be prescribed.

I now know I will never be able to take that first drink again - it's a conclusion I've come to over the past 5 weeks - I've realised that my life has all the same problems, anxieties, niggles the only thing missing is my self-medication with alcohol and all the above symptoms that went with it.

oh and I WILL NOT BE DRINKING TODAY.

Babes I have found the Link - PLEASE watch this.

Great post Koala! Yes if ADs had all of those side effects., we'd definately stop taking them

So true koala the way I'm feeling just now I think why would anyone put themselves through this and for what? grren what a fab video....had me in tears...again! Amazing, inspirational! Right I need to go and take my wee boy for 2nd day at his new nursery and hope I've not ruined experience by being such a drunken, hungover mum! Stay safe babes xx

Morning everyone. Thank you so much for the warm welcome. I haven't read back too far but this place is so full of advice and empathy - thank goodness I have found you!

Well day 1 was ok, I was still feeling crappy from the night before though, so it want too much of a test!

casa it's nice to get on the bus at the same stop as you :)
curry yes I'm a SAHM - how did you guess? I agree re the monotony - the boredom really doesn't help.....

clutter your description of how you feel is just so familiar to me. Paranoid regret...urgh it's horrible. I feel for you. I have been there too many times.....

green thanks for the post. Yes, I didn't even miss her last night, although I'm sure she'll be hovering as the week goes on.
faire I'm going for two stone by June too and really really hoping to hit my first half stone this week........
Keep at it gals.

This bus smells awful - when was the last time anyone bathed the squid?

Lo there babes

Green I love that link, very effective and just the right message to put across.

clutter I really do know how you feel. But it isn't YOU when you are drunk, it's what booze does not that you have a goblin lurking inside (Some members of the bus might, but you're ok). Breathe, relax. Your little boy will be fine and you will be fine. How about writing down how you feel and keeping it for next time yo are tempted? Getting it all down on paper might make you feel a little better too.

Wel done koala and welcome malinky

ma yeah, Barry isn't looking too hot now you mention it...

Hi. I'm new. I'm Jiminy. I'm in alcohol hell and have been for many years.
The very worst has happened in every respect. All around.

Hi jiminy you are very welcome here.

Can you tell us any more about what has been happening? Or just have a chat if you're not quite ready for that.

I have to get some jobs done now but i'll be around in an hour or so.

((hugs)) and welcome Jiminy

greeneyed, thank you for posting that brilliant video, one the happiest things I have seen ever!
Welcome Jiminy.
Nice to see you again MrsMalinsky. How are you feeling today?

Not having a good day today, up early with a sad baby, a journey of over 2 and a half hours to work, very very very cold, very tired. I want to eat toast right now in the biggest platefuls you have ever seen, which I can't because I am too busy to go scavenging. Mia I could inhale a plate of homemade macaroni cheese right now. Clutter, I hope your dc has a good day at nursery.

Still, no hangover making it worse, day 6 here, not feeling as good as I would like, not as good as when I first stopped because I'm tired, but still, not drinking, not hungover, that's ok, that's good.

Best of luck for today everyone

Hello babes.

Well, I should have slapped myself with oily, oily squid, but instead I had a drink. Damn. But I am picking myself back up and carrying on.

I've been ticking off the days I don't drink on my calendar and it is reminding me why I need to keep picking myself up and doing this.

Day 1, then ...

jiminy - sorry to hear someone sounding so low ... come and chat to us (or don't, as you like).

Welcome jiminy and huge hugs for you ((((( ))))) little boy got on ok thanks curry but very clingy to me, not sure if it's because he has always been quite a demanding child of me or because I've not really been present in a good sense over the last couple of days. I just feel exhausted, hope you have managed to warm up. Hugs LRD new day, fresh start x

Keep on keeping on LRD x

Thanks clutter and green.

Hope you're less exhausted soon, clutter.

what there's a Jaffa Cake witch as well as a Wine Witch?! Please don't tell me they join up and beat you mercilessly until you cave...

Aw but the jaffacake witch is warm and jubbly and not half as evil!

welcome jiminy and well done for being brave and making the first step to post.

babyjane are you okay???

Before I joined the bus I assumed most people who drank did it for the same reasons as me (dutch courage/overcoming anxiety) I have learned that there are loads of different reasons why people drink or drink too much: habit, social norms, pain relief, tiredness, hunger, celebration.

And there are also many different ways to tackle this ? including (I have learnt so far) One Day At A Time, HALT, Antabuse, AA, Smart, watching-the-video-to-the-end, as well as of course The Bus

Bear with me, this is going somewhere.

After Dry January is over, I want to go back to having a drink. But just once a week, and I can do controlled drinking. But this breathing space has given me time to think about what happens on the days I don?t drink. Lately my anxiety levels have been creeping up again. Alcohol doesn?t actually help, but neither does anything else I?ve found so far. Anti-depressants, valium, herbal tablets, CBT, self-hypnosis, counselling at £40 an hour.

This morning I was getting angrier and angrier with myself for worrying about very minor things. Then I remember mia saying about the Compassionate Mind? And thought, just give myself a break. I?ve tried everything I can think of to ?cure? it, maybe just accept I?m an anxious person and STOP beating myself up over it.

Hmmm. Maybe I was wrong, this isn?t going anywhere after all. I just needed to think how far I?ve come and what I want to achieve next.

alias well done for how far you've come & maybe your right that you have to accept how you are and hey it's ok. I've just finished 6 sessions of counselling for anxiety & my counsellor said that may e I need to accept I will always have lots of thoughts going round in my head & that's ok!? I'm now about to start my counselling for my binge drinking, I worry though that nothing will get through to me that I CAN NOT DRINK WINE! Good luck for your journey xx

joey your post struck a chord with me. I have suffered anxiety/OCD/panic attacks since my teens. You name it I've tried it. And I've noticed that as I've got older I've sort of embraced it and treat it like any other illness you can have. Definately easier this way.

oh wow I didn't expect responses like that! is it really something we just have to accept?

in a way that makes it easier. I can tell myself I can't control it, it's not my fault and alcohol is not the answer. I feel relieved not to have to keep fighting it!

thank you

Well I for one Definately believe its easier once you accept how you are x