The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Are Going To Need A Bigger Bus!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a place of solace, support and sanctuary, but also it's also a Bus full of chatterboxes, waffling on about all sorts!

Our aim this year is to kick the WineWitch or WW into touch and get sober!

Some of the Babes on board are doing Dry January, some drink in moderation, some just drink. Some of us are sober, some of us are trying so very, very hard to be.

Some of us have been dry for days, weeks, months and some of us years...... some of us are just starting out and are scared of what stopping drinking means. It's not forever, it's just for today if that's what you want.

We have a saying on the Bus One Day At A Time. Or ODAAT

Take each moment, each day and each blip as it comes.

Although some Babes have been here a while and kind of 'know' each other, we all have different lives, different roles to play, different places to sit on the Bus, but we ALL have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol and we're here because we want that to change; for the better.

EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE so don't be afraid to just jump right in and say hello. Post as much or as little as you like! It's all up to you.

For those who want to catch up - here is the PREVIOUS THREAD

And the first ever thread, with links to the others over the last almost 3 years! FIRST THREAD

lump not llumo!!

just checking in. trying to stick to diet but making an apple and cinammon cake hasnt helped!
What can I have for dinner which is low carb, healthy and not bloody salad!
could do a baked potato I suppose but thats not low carb is it?
I'm HUNGRY!

What have you got in the fridge Ma? Mushrooms? Veg? Tins of beans?

Joey it would have been boring without alcohol because he was fairly drunk and a bit tedious. Drunk people when you're sober are generally a bit tedious I find. Also because I was in a shitty mood yesterday and it would have been far more of a struggle to be the 'life and soul of the party' type thing. With alcohol as a lubricant it all went swimmingly and an enjoyable evening was had by all.

Soma thanks babe, and nice to see you back! x

Thanks Gugg, it was a bit of a surprise! He's leaving the company in a couple of weeks so won't see him again. As he left he was saying 'Oh you must all come up and stay for a weekend' and I was thinking 'No chance mate!'. Your AA bore sounds a right pain, but well done for not being put off the meeting by him.

NewYearNewMia, that guy sounds extremely creepy.
Your reasons for drinking sound like you are putting everyone else's comfort first It is hard to do this all the time sober, and do you feel selfish when you think "well I could just not drink, get tired and bored at 10.30 and go to bed early?" try to look after no.1

Day 4 here. have had energy crises quite often over the weekend and think maybe I just can't low-carb in this weather.
Well tbh who cares. If I am not drinking booze, the odd bit of toast or pasta might not make that much difference... anyway it can't be freezing or snowing for ever.

Welcome Change.

Sorry to hear about everyone examining their lives and finding them wanting... but things change. things can change at any age.
Drink tho can be the greatest inhibitor of change... drink fosters inertia, a fake complacency in the otherwise intolerable... this is why stopping can be painful

Good luck, all Babes

well I ended up having the same crap as DS for dinner. oven chips, cheese and cauliflower grills and baked beans.probably not an ounce of nutrition in it!
Ach well, have prepared tomorrow's lunch for work - salad with smoked salmon bits (96p for offcuts in Asda), a pitta bread, an apple and a satsuma.
Back on track tomorrow

just checking in babes. haven't read thru' everything since last night. will do that later. failed spectacularly last night. feel shit, premenstrual and sreaming at everyone. looks like kids will be off school tomorrow. double shit

need please don't get the harming stuff out. i feel like it now after years of never going near (apart from short desperate interludes). i've not done for 20 years but still the memory of that wonderful, calming release is strong and very occasionally tempting. but it doesn't last, you know that.

my left arm is a tapestry of silvery white criss-crosses and i hate never being able to wear short sleeves in summer with people i don't know. please do something else.

need and fragrant for what you've been through / are going through, but please don't feel alone, and please get the right kind of support. My dd also has arms, legs, stomach covered in white criss-crosses

mia I also want to challenge you on the issue of "it'll be boring if I don't drink"....

So your guest was tedious (whether he was drunk or not). And so what? I bet there are hundreds of circumstances that you have got through, or even enjoyed, where the other people have been tedious (or tedious and a bit drunk). Why are letting someone's tedious behaviour make you drink? Unless it was an excuse because you wanted to drink anyway?

And you wanted to be the life and soul of the party. What party? He was a boring drunk, so why did you need to be exciting and stimulating? And what's more he was a boring lecherous drunk who hit on you, mistaking your sparkling party hostess eyes for a come-on signal. That's not a person who deserves your attention and liveliness, and certainly not a person worth ruining your plans for, by having a drink. Unless it was an excuse because you wanted to have a drink anyway?

I apologise if I sound harsh, but if any of us are going to deal with this properly then we have to see things for what they are.

Of course, there is a lot in my comments that you could just sling right back at me. Because yes I have been there many, many times, saying such similar things.

curry great post about 'drink fosters inertia' !

and Venus that's kind of what I was trying to say, but you wrote it better than me!

Hi babes haven't been able to read or post since Friday, have had a very bad attack of my crohn's and am on a huge dose of steroids and morphine, I'm back at the doctor tomorrow and if my blood count doesn't improve I will have to be admitted to hospital. Good news is I haven't been drinking, been so poorly, in a strange warped way it shows it can be done, will keep you all posted x x x

baby I hope you are ok? That sounds horrible. Glad that you haven't been drinking, I'm sure it wouldn't have helped. Look after yourself.

Thanks guggs xxxxx

baby hope you feel better soon

Evening, tis me, Mouse

I'm back from my spa day and night off, did ya miss me? G'wan, ya did, ya did, ya did!

I've not really caught up but I hope you are all okay? Big hugs to those who aren't Purple, Ma, and Gugg xx

Well done to those who have lost weight too! Yipeeeee!

Welcome to Change, you are in the right place lovely.

Koti - going back a bit....... Mouse, did you ask him WTF this morning was about yet? Why not help if he's stood there? He's lost brownie points with me :-( - Do you know what? I didn't ask him but boy did I fucking TELL him later on. Even DD asked if I was okay because my alarm was going off for so long.....

She's so ace and kind. She said 'you should have shouted me and I'd have come to help you mum'.

Phoenix - Sometimes I think he just doesn't see it, just like you say. Sometimes, he'll say 'What's up?' Hmm........... I am in pain 24/7, our darling boy has additional requirements that mean I am on the go from the moment he wakes to the moment he sleeps, and even then I'm not off duty. I also have to run a house, a teen daughter to care for and an addiction lying in wait to grab me, kick me in the guts when I least expect it.......

My spa was amazing. My first ever facial but again, I was in pain because I had to lie on a table for an hour. I had to go and get some morphine from my bag after

We then went back to my friend's mum's house for a take-away and film. We watched The Grey with Liam Neeson. DO NOT WATCH IT! It's very violent and there is no happy ending or nice bits in it. Brilliant film but for a light hearted ladies night in? Nope, t'was no chick flick, rom-com, or enjoyable really! It made me cry too!

I had three glasses of wine and loads of water. I matched a glass of wine with a pint of water. I didn't really enjoy the wine, it was habit, pure habit to drink it. Pathetic.

Anyway............

I had a fab sleep and came home desperate to see my boy and DH, I had to wait to see DD as she was at her friend's house. It feels so right to be home and with my family. How ridiculous is it of me to not cope with time away?

Nemo had a wonderful time in the snow, DH bought him a sledge, I'll put some pics on my profile of him and Seth in the snow...... DH said Nemo was so awesome, even when he fell face first into the snow! bless him.

Bed calls so I will catch up with you all tomorrow.

Oh, and listen to venus those who are worried that not drinking makes you boring and zero fun, she knows what she's talking about! All it does is make you think that you're fun and not boring.

Night all xxxxxx

Just read your post Baby - sorry to read that you're poorly. Rest! xxxx

babyjane I know exactly how you feel, mine was 15 years ago but I still have nightmares (but hopefully treatments have improved since then?) too right drinking would not help, you would get drunk and ill very quickly, possibly even pass out.

I am trying to remember a very wise post written by Venus a while ago. it was about the confusion that could arise if you are seriously ill, but also been drinking. (by 'you' I mean any of us)

first, doctors might have trouble assessing you because they wouldn't know which symptoms were relevant. then it would be difficult treating you because the alcohol could interfere with the drugs.

anyway, sending hugs and comfort your way. hope you start to feel better soon

Koti - there are soooooooooooo many different facials! Some are revitalising, some for 'skin conditions', some for dry/oily/combo skin etc.... some to just relax you.

I had one designed for the first signs of aging and it was an hour long which killed my back. It was cleansing, exfoliation, toning, moisturising, then massaging. It was lovely but it was a bit claustrophobic because I'm not good with having me face covered, due to my DV past . I told my therapist and she was really careful xx

Sorry you're so poorly Baby. Hope you feel better soon. *Mouse glad you had a nice spa day even if the facial left you in pain.

"well I could just not drink, get tired and bored at 10.30 and go to bed early?"
Curry I just can't conceive of doing that, it would feel so rude. That's a bit skewed, isn't it.

Venus I was always intending to drink last night, but on weekend nights recently I'd only been having a maximum of two glasses of red, whereas I knew/was dreading that once I started drinking in company I would get carried away and drink much more than that. If I'd been feeling strong and positive yeasterday then I maybe could have stuck to two glasses, but I was feeling shite yesterday, and as usual looked to something external to make me feel better. I guess it wasn't the guest I was being hostess with the mostest for, it was DP - he so rarely invites anyone over. So... he didn't make me drink, I chose to drink. I then, inevitably, drank more than I'd have liked, although I did drink water alongside the wine all night, which I wouldn't normally do. That made me the jolly company that DP was expecting. And yes, very sadly, I still can't conceive of enjoying an evening social occasion with food that doesn't also involve wine. Sorry.

okay who has the wet fish, it's my turn to be slapped

just cant shake off worries and anxieties.

Yeay! Snow no course day here in Suffolk.

Sorry Joey. Can you tell us what the worries and anxieties are? x

Baby So sorry to hear you are so poorly. Not drinking will have prevented things being worse and not cloud any investigations by the Docs. Hope you are feeling a bit better today?

Mouse Glad you had a (mostly) good time at the spa. Time to yourself, every now and again, will hopefully re-charge your batteries.

Fragrant Some good advice you gave further up the post on SH. Take care of yourself today - new day and all that.

Mia The weekend is over, launch yourself into the new week with the knowledge that you have choices and you've managed good choices overall recently. x

Thanks for your comments about TF. It's a shame but not the end of the world. Stupid Alert (again!) Yesterday, went out to the car to turn the engine on for 10 mins to defrost it before the start of my journey. My neighbour was out clearing his son and his wife's car of snow. As I sat in fiddling with the AC controls, suddenly, there was a clearing of snow off the windscreen. My neighbour was clearing MY car for me too - even got the ice off! I got out and said "Thanks so much Chris! It's been years since someone did that for me!". Came in doors and promptly burst into tears! An act of kindness just floored me. It's been so long since someone looked after me. It's not wrong to want that, sometimes, is it? (Just noticed he's done it again this morning )

Take care out there Babes, it's slippy and cold!

'Thanks Koti for your comments about TF....... !!

(((((Purple))))) Of course it's not wrong to want that, and you will find someone to look after you! X