The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Are Going To Need A Bigger Bus!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a place of solace, support and sanctuary, but also it's also a Bus full of chatterboxes, waffling on about all sorts!

Our aim this year is to kick the WineWitch or WW into touch and get sober!

Some of the Babes on board are doing Dry January, some drink in moderation, some just drink. Some of us are sober, some of us are trying so very, very hard to be.

Some of us have been dry for days, weeks, months and some of us years...... some of us are just starting out and are scared of what stopping drinking means. It's not forever, it's just for today if that's what you want.

We have a saying on the Bus One Day At A Time. Or ODAAT

Take each moment, each day and each blip as it comes.

Although some Babes have been here a while and kind of 'know' each other, we all have different lives, different roles to play, different places to sit on the Bus, but we ALL have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol and we're here because we want that to change; for the better.

EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE so don't be afraid to just jump right in and say hello. Post as much or as little as you like! It's all up to you.

For those who want to catch up - here is the PREVIOUS THREAD

And the first ever thread, with links to the others over the last almost 3 years! FIRST THREAD

Oh purple its not stupid at all.you are doing so well but the ww has found your weakness and you are thinking why shouldn't I have a nice time too? Why should I be left out feeling alone and miserable?
I say this as I drink a glass of red...she got me too tonight!
Its bloody hard this!

purple oh dear that does sound hard. you've mentioned before I think that you have a downer when kids go to ex's for the weekend? is there any way to plan for it, see it as a time to treat yourself, visit friends etc?

am feeling better thanks mia now have to give the dog a haircut as he keeps getting snow stuck in his fur...

mia can you give yourself a target e.g. wait till after the main course to have a drink?

Thank you for your kind words Ma and Joey. xxx

Ma are you managing to limit your intake and have soft drinks in-between tonight? Fridays and Saturdays are heavy triggers. Hugs.

Joey, yes, I do often struggle when DC are at ExP's but today, I seemed to be doing OK until I found out they were all going out for a jolly old knees up (exaggerated, but that's how I feel ) I know it sounds pathetic but all my friends are smug partnered up so I can't really muscle in on their 'family' and together time at the weekends. When I was first single there were three of us single ladies and we used to do things together - or just chill out round each other's houses, drink wine and chat. I am the only one still single. And treating myself is going to have to be on my own too - I'm not keen on that idea. I'm reasonably confident but going the the cinema etc by myself doesn't do it for me.

This is so far from how I envisaged my life to be in my 50s. Single, lonely (as in adult company), rented accommodation, (failing) on a dating site, career-less and fighting a problem with alcohol. I don't live my life through my children but they are the one thing that keeps me going.

Apologies for the depressive, me me me post.

Well, the corner shop is now shut so, for today, I'm 'safe'. Take care Babes hope your evening is happy and warm. x

purple I didn't envisage my life being like this either. Nearly 50, living in a flat in a one-horse town that I should have left year s ago, married to a man I don't love any more, years of debt and scraping and scrounging to exist, overweight and unattractive piss head. I was going to travel, see things, do things....
feeling your pain tonight.

((((( ))))) Ma xx

try not to be lonely lovely ma and purple we all need you!

I know what you are saying but I don't have an image of ma as being all those horrible words and purple I can understand why you feel sore about being left out.

Being broke- yup,I know about that one but for the love of jeff, why does being near 50 mean you won't get to travel to fab places and fall in love in the future? Why?

Fuck saturday night and fuck the wine witch.

gugg because while I'm tied to DH I won't be travelling and falling in love. But that's a whole other conversation for another day.

purple aww what happened to the TF ?

Thanks Guggs x

Well, Joey I messaged him back after rather nice 'text ping-pong' on Thursday and haven't heard anything since. He knew I was free this weekend from Friday so I don't think it's good news. If I message him, he'll probably get back to me but I can't be arsed right now. His loss.

Can I bring my dog round for a hair cut? She's looking more like a shaggy rug than a dog. Glad you are feeling a bit better. x

Ggggrrrr just had an hour on the phone trying to counsel my pissed friend about a new relationship she's going to loose due to her drinking. Why are drunk people so annoying. Went over the same thing time and time again. God am I like that. Still doesn't stop me wanting to open the bottle of red which has been sat in my kitchen since last year!
Oh and evening all. Sorry your struggling. I had pmt last week and it was a bitch x

ma awww...my sympathy, though I know you haven't asked for it.x

So sorry to hear people feeling sad :( I'm sorry. I guess we all have ideas and ambitions and they rarely come true. I spent too long in hopeless, ridiculous, abusive relationships and didn't meet my lovely dh until he was in his 40s and I was in my late thirties. Still wish I'd travelled, done what I really wanted to do with my life, wish I hadn't listened to my negative, toxic, 'it's all about me' mother, but have finally realised what she's like. Anyway, c'mon everyone, lets do the hokey cokey or something I've just been swimming and weighed myself - amazingly have lost 4 pounds since last Friday!!!! woooo.

Thinking of everyone xx

Lo there tiger,

Least you tried. Maybe something will have filtered through when she's sobered up a bit. Sounds like you've done your best to help and that there's nothing more you can do.

Thanks guggs I'm OK.
One day..........

Thanks gugg I hope your right biggest problem was trying to get through to her that she shouldn't do anything else until she's sober.
holly 4ibs ! That's fab we'll done.
I try not to think about what I could have done, where I could have been. X

you put your left leg in, your left leg out,
in out in out
shake it all about

DD just been brought home from a sleepover with diarrhoea... she was more upset about missing the sleepover than being ill, so hopefully not too serious

does it ever flaming end...?

Aww, bless her Joey.

Aw I've just come on and caught up with the thread and just feel suffused with love for you all (yup, epic fail on the whole sobriety thing tonight ). I don't want to start rambling on now when I've been drinking as it doesn't feel appropriate, but just want to say that you are a truly amazing bunch of women.

Well I learned that I'm still not ready to have a social evening with a stranger without alcohol. It's not like I'm hammered or anything, but been drinking steadily throughout, enabling me to be sparkly happy company. DP's colleage was pissed and excitable (certainly it would have all been pretty boring sober), and while he was showing me something on the computer (whilst DP was in the adjacent room) started stroking/massaging my back!! I so didn't expect that! I said 'stop touching me...' and he said 'sorry' and that was that, but fuck me, what's that all about?? He was supposed to stay over but thank god he chose to get the train back.

Well I've fulfilled DD's prophecy of how the night would pan out. [shameful] I'll just go and sleep fitfully now.

Hello .

I need help. I'm trapped in a never ending cycle of drink/guilt/sober/drink again. Have tried AA, I ended up on anti ds because it went against everything I believe in. I'm going to smart meetings now but so far have been unable to stop. I think my dh is about to leave me, and who could blame him?!! He must have the patience of a saint to have lasted this long.

For the first time ever I have had a drink 1st thing in the morning because, quite frankly, I needed to stop the images in my head of hurting myself. It was the remainders of what I had yesterday & there is none left now so there's no danger of any more and I'm broke until Friday which might be my saving grace.

Why, after all the recovery work that I have done, does my resolve vanish after a few days?? What the hell is wrong with me? (Apart from being a useless drunk).

change you are not a useless drunk. Anymore than any of us here is. We are people trying, and it seems failing last night for some of us, to get control of our drinking.it is so very hard. But that was yesterday. Can you try again today?

Hello Change, welcome to the bus. As you can see from my post above yours I had an epic fail on the moderation front last night (I'm not aiming for total abstinence), so I'm probably not the best person to advise you. There'll be more experienced Babes along to hold your hand soon.

How long have you been doing the SMART stuff? Babes on here seem to rate it highly and AA Isn't for everyone. Why were you considering hurting yourself this morning, was it guilt? How much and how often are you drinking at the moment and what is your goal?

Hope I'm not bombarding you with too many questions here xx

Hi.

I can definitely start again today, like I said there's no alcohol in the house & my anxiety is sky high so there's no way I'm setting foot outside the front door.

My aim is complete abstinence as I'm well aware that moderation is not an option for me.

I did AA for nearly two years & have been doing smart for about two months. I just don't understand why I block myself. I know the tools for dealing with urges but once I get it in my head I completely disregard them

Thank you for being kind.

Change welcome to the bus. Come and chat with us every day. Every time you even think about a drink, just jot your thoughts down here. Little by little, day by day, change can and does happen on this bus x

Thank you, I will.

Why did I want to hurt myself? I regularly wake u