The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Are Going To Need A Bigger Bus!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a place of solace, support and sanctuary, but also it's also a Bus full of chatterboxes, waffling on about all sorts!

Our aim this year is to kick the WineWitch or WW into touch and get sober!

Some of the Babes on board are doing Dry January, some drink in moderation, some just drink. Some of us are sober, some of us are trying so very, very hard to be.

Some of us have been dry for days, weeks, months and some of us years...... some of us are just starting out and are scared of what stopping drinking means. It's not forever, it's just for today if that's what you want.

We have a saying on the Bus One Day At A Time. Or ODAAT

Take each moment, each day and each blip as it comes.

Although some Babes have been here a while and kind of 'know' each other, we all have different lives, different roles to play, different places to sit on the Bus, but we ALL have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol and we're here because we want that to change; for the better.

EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE so don't be afraid to just jump right in and say hello. Post as much or as little as you like! It's all up to you.

For those who want to catch up - here is the PREVIOUS THREAD

And the first ever thread, with links to the others over the last almost 3 years! FIRST THREAD

Are you financially OK on benefits Purple (tell me to sod off if I'm prying). Because if you are, then just jump through them hoops like the others have said. Because of course you have a job already which is looking after your 3 DC. I only have the one, and she's growing-up fast and I only work part-time anyway. Finances are tight but I don't have a mortgage and I wear the same clothes year in, year out :) And of course I'm saving rather a lot now my drinking consumption is down to about a bottle every 2 weeks! (Hope it stays like that).

What is it about summer parties? I went to a fabulous garden party a few years back at my ex-SIL, jazz band in the garden, waiters, the lot. Within a couple of hours I was so trashed I passed out in the study and had to crawl out on my hands and knees when it was time to go home. DH drove home with me sitting in the footwell of the car with my head on the seat. Just lovely.

Well done on sober evenings if you had them and if you didn't, today is another day.

Thank you LRD and Gugg for you support. Ma DC are 6, 9 and 11. Your situation sounded grim. And, yes, I'm worried that the extra stress will lead me back to the wine bottle . Bloody well done on day 12! x

Needs Re: Falling Asleep. I 'fall asleep' after drinking too much if, that is, normal people fall asleep with all the lights on, TV on, dog not let out and back door unlocked! Another lie I used to like to tell myself.

Joey Well done for last night! Hugs!

Horses Thanks for your info. So glad you've found something that you are good at and that makes you happy - and pays too! The stupid thing is I am not allowed to do any full time training whilst I'm on Job Seekers because that deems me 'unavailable for work'! The same thing goes for training to be a child-minder - and there is not any sort of benefit that they will give you to 'better yourself' My college course was all self-funded and they wouldn't let me finish it, despite getting three quarters of the way through it! I would have to do without JSA or an equivalent. It makes no fucking sense, really it doesn't. Also, a friend in the village gave up child-minding 18 months ago due to the high cost of registration (every year) and the weight of the Ofsted inspections and all the requirements they now have.

Soma As if I would tell you to sod off, Lovely! I do rely on the benefit so will have to practice my 'hoop jumping' I was a latch-key kid right from primary school up to the age of 12 (when my Mother died). She would be gone before I got up in the morning and wouldn't get home 'til about 7 then would get dressed up and go down the pub - without me. I don't remember her coming to any sports days or similar. After she died I had to move in with my Father and evil step-mother. My step-mother had huge insecurity problems and saw me as a threat - she was very jealous of me. Therefore, she was a barrier between my Father and me and he was/is too spineless to stand up to her. So, once again, no-one ever came to special days where (it seemed) everyone else's parents were there. The reason for this waffle is to explain that I was determined, if I ever had children, that I would be there for them. As many plays, sports days, carol service etc. as I could manage. I want them to have security and the knowledge that someone is there for them, whilst they still want me to be.

Start of day 4 here today. Feeling OK (except about the course, tomorrow, natch!)

Happy Sunday everyone. xxxxxxxxx

Hello strong, intelligent babes,

faire how long have you been sober/ on the roof rack for? I'm not asking about the roof rack because I know I can't be there and that's fine, I'm just interested in everyone's story and too sodding lazy to read the 9 million previous threads

help I'm going to my first candlelit meeting today and I'm bouncing round like a 3 yr old off to a princess party I'm doing alright lovely.

Well done soma and purple

aww purple just smile and nod, smile and nod. Good for you for wanting to be there for your children. It's not as though you're pouncing about the shops and going on swanky holidays, you are actually quite busy looking after your children. ffs
Can you blog? Team up with mouse and write the bestselling recovery story of the bus? Look after yourself whatever.

Morning tis me, Mouse

Well, erm, thank you all so much for the lovely responses to my Gone With The Wind length post! xx

Purple - WTAF with the job centre? It's not on that if you don't go, you'll lose benefits or at least they will threaten it won't they. I hate the way that they've changed it all. They put you all in the same box and assume that you're all incapable of certain things when in actual fact, they know what your past employment is so should be focusing on that!

GO GO GO for day 4!!! xx

Koti - MIFLAW is right about controlled drinking, absolutely. I agree with everything he says about it, but at this exact moment in time, I am sober and not drinking alcohol. That's the plan for the next hour too, and the one after that etc....

Tomorrow is different, it's a special day for me (and Ma mwahs and

Morning!! Glad to hear so much positivity this morning Had another amazingly good nights sleep - woken up by the two girls at 6am, wanting to go down and get breakfast. It was lovely to be able to get up, tired, but not with that headachey, groggy 'ffs' stagger - got them soretd and made coffee, went back to bed and just sat in bed watching the sun rise with dh asleep next to me. It felt good. Molly's friend has gone now and she is shattered! They didn;t really get to sleep till gone 10 and then ended up in the same bed sweet. Going to 'potter' today, iron etc and hopefully take M to the park this afternnon, it's very cold but very pretty. Swimming again tonight...

Morning all.

Hope mouse and kot and ma are coping with the weather ok - and I hope everyone else is either enjoying pretty snow or not too cold!

Day 4 for me.

Holly - see? Isn't it great to want to get up at that time and be with your DC xx

*LRD - well done on day 4 sweets xx

Right, off out for a walk with the BusWolf, fish boy (just for you Ma ) and DH. DD is doing her homework and my washing machine is slowly dying. It's making a 'noise' that sounds baaaaaaad

Buggeration.

See you all later xx

Hey mouse. It is indeed our special day tomorrow but I know mine will be crappy on the celebration front as we are completely skint until payday.
Dcs might bake me a cake but it will probably all be on hold until end of the month. Can't really complain, we had a good Christmas, spent too much money and now its payback month. Just wish my birthday didn't fall in the middle of it...

Oh, glad to hear that kot.

I am doing nicely, thanks - and thanks for the support! I think it's the next few days are the difficult bit, when I get tempted to say 'well, I've given it a good break ... it wouldn't be so bad ...'. So I need to keep checking in and staying strong.

How about you?

Koti Glad you are feeling better . Yes, only one college in this area! I looked into OU and other options but, as you say, the fees have rocketed.

The college course was 'too art based' in that it was pretty pretentious. The other students were 16, 17,18 and didn't really question anything - but I did. I would have gone along with that if it weren't for the fact that they didn't teach camera controls, white balance, studio lighting, ISO's, film speed etc (sorry for the tech speak!) which, when you are on a Photographic Diploma, I would have thought was mandatory?! I though I was the only one who snuck my camera on semi-auto because I didn't know better but found that, out of a class of about 20, only about 3 were using full manual control - after nearly a year!! I wanted to do freelance children's portraiture but don't have the confidence to be able to compensate for conditions if they're not perfect - the course did nothing for my technical confidence. I get lucky quite often (you've seen some of my stuff ) but wouldn't want to rely on 'luck' if it was a proper business. I've had 5 commissions. One wedding was awful - the weather, the venue, the bride (!) and I vowed never to do one again!!

How long was your degree?

Thanks Gugg Strangely enough, I was going to write a blog/diary but, it all got a bit lost in the 'fog'! x

East No idea why those DD things are called 'sleep-over' as not much sleeping gets done! Glad you are feeling in a better 'coping' mode without the grog.

Hey Mouse Hope you enjoy your walk and your washing machine suddenly gets a new lease of life?! xx

kot are you a lancashire lass?
DH is a Scouser form Meeeeereyside but mum is from ST Helens which is says has always been in Lancashire and always will be!!!
Still snowing, but quite light.
Think I'll need to brave the weather to go and buy sweets if I can scrape up a few quid. REally feel the need for sugar and am sleepy.

morning Babes

have decided to 'power through' and continue with Dry January. I could feel the Wine Witch tapping on my shoulder last night half-way through the meal (trying to convince me that since I'd waited till after the main course I would drink less, have it under control etc)

gosh with every word I write I can hear voices in my head going 'but just the one won't hurt'

I'm sleeping better. Got more money. Got more energy. this is why I want stay sober for the next 2 weeks - break the bad habits.

Well done Joey! It really is that split second where you can give in or hold out, isn't it?! And when you are feeling strong, it's hard to believe that you just didn't/couldn't say 'no', couldn't/wouldn't hold out, just a little bit longer. When you are feeling strong it seems rather easy but when you are not strong, it's so friggin' difficult - or is that just me? Hugs. xxxx

Purple, it's so sad about your childhood but because of your detemination your DC have the best mum in the world. Well done on resisting last night Joey, I'm trying to use your example (and that of others) to resist the mother of all cravings at the moment and it's only 2.30 in the afternoon! Why doesn't it get any easier? I know cravings are supposed to lessen with time (as long as you don't give into them) but they just keep coming and coming and I'm SO tired of trying to fight them off.

Lol at Kot throwing up over a fellow party guest. Did you ever see her again? When I was a student I used to go round with a gang who kept something called a "chunder chart". It was updated daily with a record of who had thrown up due to alcohol and under what circumstances. It was considered very poor form if you didn't feature on it. At my uni we also had an annual beer race (involving teams stopping at as many pubs as possible whilst they had their legs tied together), and the smell of vomit permeated the student union for weeks afterwards.....sorry, no more talk of puke :)

Koti Might move nearer to you then! The course was designed by the course director and approved by the faculty head. I think it was just a bad course, written by someone with his field in artsy work. None of the tutors were professional photographers at any point. :( My brother is a perpetual student too. At 58 he's thinking of going for his Doctorate (sp?).

Soma Thank you for that, it was lovely of you to say. I so hope you are beating off the Old Hag still?! Your Uni day exploits made me laugh. How strange it is that something so potentially harmful can be so mandatory/acceptable? Keep on fighting, Sweet.

Hoping against hope for tons of snow tomorrow - to prevent me being able to get to this sodding course! You wait, I'll get back tomorrow and spout about how wonderful it was!

purple Nail Tech training can be done in short, intensive courses with manufacturers rather than a year at college...... PM if you'd like more details or check www.salongeek.com . It seems mad that they will stop benefits even if you're trying to improve your chances of getting a job/earning your own money!

Hi,

we know the reality of alcohol. Giving in will set your cravings back at least a week

Good point! I'm here as much as possible at the moment because I need every little bit of help going.

MA I've found myself without any chocolate in the house. That's just wrong! Is the snow beautiful where you are?

There's an article in the Mail On Sunday magazine by a woman who has given up drinking. the first half was like reading about myself - probably most of us - hope that's not offensive the self -loathing, the blackouts the reckless behaviour, the vile mood swings. She's stopped with AA and therapy. It's so widespread isn't it?? Just gone downstairs to get something and DH has opened a can of beer - he can though - he can drink sometimes, he may drink 'too much' sometimes but he doesn't have to Fuck it, this is making me cry :)

It's not fair I'm getting really emotional about it now. This is the beginning of the 'low' bit after the euphoria isn't it. Shit

Bless, East The mood swings are normal (but shit!) and you just have to ride them out. Hugs Sweetpea, hang on in there - it'll pass soon. Wish I'd seen that article, sounds interesting. xxxxx

I've had to admit to being a mail reader now.