The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Are Going To Need A Bigger Bus!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a place of solace, support and sanctuary, but also it's also a Bus full of chatterboxes, waffling on about all sorts!

Our aim this year is to kick the WineWitch or WW into touch and get sober!

Some of the Babes on board are doing Dry January, some drink in moderation, some just drink. Some of us are sober, some of us are trying so very, very hard to be.

Some of us have been dry for days, weeks, months and some of us years...... some of us are just starting out and are scared of what stopping drinking means. It's not forever, it's just for today if that's what you want.

We have a saying on the Bus One Day At A Time. Or ODAAT

Take each moment, each day and each blip as it comes.

Although some Babes have been here a while and kind of 'know' each other, we all have different lives, different roles to play, different places to sit on the Bus, but we ALL have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol and we're here because we want that to change; for the better.

EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE so don't be afraid to just jump right in and say hello. Post as much or as little as you like! It's all up to you.

For those who want to catch up - here is the PREVIOUS THREAD

And the first ever thread, with links to the others over the last almost 3 years! FIRST THREAD

another one really struggling here and i agree, it SHOULD be getting easier by now and it fecking well isnt. i went out and bought some sweets and had a walk in the snow - bitty and wet. not beautiful - and if I had had a fiver to my name I would have bought a bottle today. i really would, and still will if any money suddenly materialises in front of me!

No you won't Ma unless you want me round your gaff with the oiled squid! It'll be most unpleasant! WW is busy tonight, spreading her evil thoughts, turning our minds to the Misery Juice. Fend her off Babes - just for now, just for today. xxxxx

Hi Babes been absent for a few days but still reading you all. Went to an AA meeting Saturday whiich was good - making a few friends there and everyone v supportive and friendly - speaker was 4 years sober (age around late 60s I think) and showed us his 'one hour before he stopped drinking' photo which he looks at to remind himself of the bad times. Boy he looked so well today I doubt he'd be with us if he hadn't made the decision to stop.

I've had a few cravings, but keep telling myself I don't drink - have even told a few aquaintances that I don't drink now (although not the story behind it) and nobody gives a damn, its lovely that it is just accepted and I don't have to go further unless they volunteer information, which a few have, ie siblings, parents heavy drinkers and alcoholics etc.

Had a long walk this morning as was delivering leaflets round the village - so hope that will help with the weight loss which has stalled at 9lbs. Although the Green and Blacks selection pack of mini bars (ate 5) probably didn't help.
I've stopped taking sugar in coffee which I started to compensate for lack of alcohol but have a craving for flapjacks for some reason - had one for breakfast.

Still I'm feeling good in mind and body started a new 'to do' list today and I'm getting over my fear of making plans for the future - couldn't trust myself to make even the smallest decision whilst drinking and back to work after nearly 4 months off. Onwards and upwards.

Nice to see Jesus pop in earlier - my hero, you sounded so well I remember reading your first posts and was inspired to take action. Someone said the other day that going from enjoying alcohol to alcholism consists of just 4 letters ALCOHOL = Less I See Myself, Jesus you've definately got yourself back and that's my aim too.

I reckon the best sweets to eat right now would be gobstoppers.

Remember them, fecking great huge things that took about a week to eat. And you couldn't really close your mouth properly, so you would dribble.

Or was that just me

I didn't give in and am safe now for the evening. Ma good job you didn't have any money, are you going to try and hold off for the rest of the evening? Let's try and get some inspiration from Koala who's gone from 3 bottles a day to sobriety in such a short time.

My new mantra is giving in will set my cravings back at least a week, thanks Kot.

Kot speaks a lot of sense. The psychological addiction is harder to break than the physical habit. One thing is certain. How you feel when you wake up tomorrow will depend on whether you drink today. How do you want to feel tomorrow.

Now, when we're in that 'sod it' mood, we think 'I don't fecking care about tomorrow, I want a drink now ' < stomp stomp >

But, but, but we really do care, or we wouldn't be trying, would we?

I watched a programme about weight loss today, Weight Loss Ward, I think it's called, about obese people having gastric bands to aid their weight loss. The hospital have a policy that the patients have to lose 5kg before they will do any procedure.

It doesn't matter how much they weigh, it's not a medical requirement, it's to prove that they can make those changes that will be needed to maintain weight loss. It's dealing with their psychological addiction to food as well as the physical results.

I thought it was very well done, the doctor explained the costs to the NHS and how they cannot really help anyone who does not want to help themselves.

All of what they said could be applied to drinking too. We have the term 'comfort eating' but not 'comfort drinking'. It's the same thing really and the reasons behind it are much the same. Interesting.

Obesity is harder to hide that alcoholism. But overeating/overdrinking, a compulsion to eat/drink, comfort eat/self medicate. It's all part of the same psychological package and it's all about changing the mindset as well as the habits.

I wish I had a supportive AA group to go to. I went for three months last year to a few different ones in town but they are all taken over by the same group of diehards and I'm afraid I had some choice words to say to them when I left . It was incredibly culty - and I don't use that word lightly. They were telling me I must stop taking my anti depressants, I must forget my husband for at least nine months, I would never be sober if I stuck at 'only four meetings a week etc. Horrible. Yes, I did go back to drinking after that but it wasn't because I left. It's a shame, there are some amazing groups all over I know. I think I'll just stick it out with you lot and my own will -oh and swimming

Great post Faire. What a shame about your AA experience Holly. And especially awful that you were told to stop taking medication. I've been in and out of AA several times but never stuck with it, despite having met some wonderful women. I think there's still something in me that says I'm not that bad and I find all the talk of the "programme" quite off-putting. But something keeps drawing me back when things are really hard and I know how well it works for so many people.

Hello babes, just checking in as I was too tired to post last night.

Mouse that was very brave of you to tell us your story. You've come so far. I hope you have a nice day and evening with your DH.

All ok here. Slept badly Friday night and had to get up really early, so felt exhausted yesterday. You'd think I'd be a bit more resiliant after sleeping so much better lately. Also x-DP's house was bloody freezing, even with the heater on, and I felt chilled for the rest of the day. He did get a fish and chip lunch for us all when he finally arrived though (so I'm not optimistic about my weigh-in tomorrow!).

Had the same to drink last night as Friday (2 glasses red and a few sips of DP's port) and slept fine. I had a strong bit of a hankering today to drink 'properly' tonight and feel that buzz. Partly because I was hungry earlier and only had a very small snack to tide me over til an early dinner. I'm having a glass of red now and will have a couple more, but am intending to be restrained. I feel guilty posting that I'm drinking when there are babes here who are struggling to resist the WW. I want to record my progress on here though, if that makes sense, so that I can see where my head is at. Hope noone minds.

Usually by now I would be approaching the final drinking day of the weekend having put away a minimum of a bottle a night on Friday and Saturday. I'd have been feeling a cumulative hangover this morning (having been drinking between half and a bottle of wine on Wed and Thurs, too, and that's if I'd managed Mon & Tues as AFDs) that would have made me grouchy, antisocial, lazy, irritable with DD and feeling that dread of Monday looming. Then Sunday evening, one of my favourite times... DP cooking the roast, the smell permeating the whole house. Music on, booze poured, anticipation of fine food. But always underlied by knowing that tomorrow I'd feel shit - anxious, panicky, guilty, incompetent.

So although I'm drinking (sipping red rather than swigging white, which just slips down so dangerously easily) now, I know that I'll be moderate, and that when I wake up tomorrow I might feel slightly under par, but I won't be feeling the cumulative effects of having drunk at least five bottles over the last five nights.

Well done all the babes who are resisting. You know that you will feel better in the morning for it! I'm sorry not to namecheck individually - the bus is very fast-moving at the moment. I am reading and absorbing all your stories though.

horsesi go on salon geek, fab site. Cor WW is sat with me tonight big style. Wish she would do one.

totally understand the weekend thing. Mine always started thursday - or possible wednesday.. By Sunday I'd be thinking 'should I have a couple tonight? Oh sod it, yes, I need to finish off the red wine/that last can of G & T/lager then I'll stop for a week' ..till Thursday...or Wednesday! AM going swimming really soon. Just had a lovely pork dinner, Molly has been asleep for the past two hours, the 'sleepover' catching up so i have made her get up to have dinner. I can hear her and DH arguing as I sit here - ooops!! Have a good evening everyone xx

purple I know who someone who calls herself a 'nail technician' she has never done any courses, says she just picked it up from having gel nails done herself. I was a bit I would have had to at the very least done some research on the internet but I know she's not a great one for doing courses etc. she just bought the stuff online and somehow found clients, word-of-mouth I guess

soma you're so right about the cravings! a few hours ago I was thinking 'I can't do this' but now they've completely gone...

However I've lost enthusiasm for the Boot Camp (sorry ma) I can only deal with one issue at a time but I do have to fit into a dress for a wedding in April not purples so will have to tackle it sometime...

Its OK joey. I've lost my enthusiasm for abstinence

Sending you a huge hug Ma Tomorrow is another day. This shit is hard. xxxxx

I don't know what it is with the bloody WW tonight, she seems to be on very active duty all around. In my case, she's just tricked me to look at something that I know will trigger me. I'll resist, but I feel shit now, developed the kind of feeling that I only know how to handle in one way: by flushing it down with alcohol. You know, then you're not just interested in having one glass, but really want the entire bottle. Very odd not to (and probably the first real test since I've started cutting out). Will drink my herbal tea and carry on reading here and my book. Grr.

If it was easy we wouldn't need the bus.

Hugs to all who need them this evening x

sighs with relief at dropped squid
I deserve it

YES c'mon - we can all do this!!! Just think about the morning - how great we'll feel. I'm done my boring swimming again - that's three days in a row Couldn't belive my car was already iced up when I went out at 6pm having my usual tonic 'n' lime (should I market this??
I would love to bus a bus or preferably a state of the art camper van and take the kids round the world...DH not keen, he keeps talking about ridiculous little things like 'money' and 'mortgage' and 'jobs'. What's up with him? One hour at a time everyone xx