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Original poster

Cliches, arse ennui, new year hangovers and glancing at the sweet trolley. Dating thread 34!

999 replies

lubeybooby · 01/01/2013 17:54

New thread time! Great timing with it being new years day...

Most of you know what to do... off you go!

Just in case you don't... just chit chat all your dating related stuff here. If you are new, just jump right in to the blethering. More the merrier!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! :o

OP posts:
TheOriginalNutcracker · 03/01/2013 14:34

Sorry, got distracted dexmassing the house.

FWB has to stop because i like him way too much, and he treats me like crap, all on his terms etc, and thats not the worst of it.
Not sure I will bin him just yet though, cos i'm too weak lol.

TheOriginalNutcracker · 03/01/2013 14:36

Last message I had on POF was from a man saying he had all his own hair and teeth still, and would like to take me away to his cottage in the lake district. He did ensure me that i'd have my own room, with a lock though Hmm

TheOriginalNutcracker · 03/01/2013 14:36

I like manly and chunky normally, although fwb is skinny, so go figure.

MsArsebiscuit · 03/01/2013 14:50

I like a sturdy man, I like ( cue Lord Flashheart impression ) something to hang onto - woof ! He has a nice smile though and is a spelling pedant so that counts in his favour.

48howdidthathappen · 03/01/2013 15:05

*Snape" Sounding like you may have found a diamond.

Nutcracker FWB without the friends bit is blow up doll territory. Try to bin.

Hope yogadog is tail wagging soon.

I haven't had any that admit to being 68. But sure don't look 50 either.

TheOriginalNutcracker · 03/01/2013 15:13

God 48, you are right, never thought of it like that before.

I would like to say that we are friends, but I know we're not really.

FlorentinePogen · 03/01/2013 15:31

All the Best for 2013, dating fans ! Smile

Almost pished ma breeks @ Ms.Arse he looked like he'd escaped from On The Buses.

"I'll get yooo, Butler......." Grin

Anyhoo, may I crave your indulgences for a minute....Wee story (all true BTW) told to me today by colleague, let's call him Roger, at my (part-time) work...... Roger's next door neighbours are Alex and Susan, both retired, both fit and healthy-ish and both still sexually keen. Wink Alex especially so. So much so, in fact, that he orders Viagra from an on-line pharmacy as a wee Xmas high-jinks treat. (Apparently, word on the vine is that they were quite keen swingers in their prime....) So he takes his pill approx. 2 hours before.....ahem....playtime, as instructed on the package. Unfortunately, a tiny marital tiff ensues about something completely innocuous and gets blown out of all proportion, the upshot being that Alex is told to "Take yersel' and yer feckin' hardon to the spare room'. Even worse, Alex cannot get rid of his tumescence and begins to feel unwell, Susan has to call an ambulance in the middle of the night (Xmas day morning actually) and the poor soul spends the best part of Xmas day in A+E as the Viagra pill has effed up his blood pressure. Shock
Apparently he is now OK, back home and speaking to the wife.........but if any of the gents on here would like some Viagra.......... (going cheap)............

WarmFuzzyFun · 03/01/2013 15:51

My oldest was 74 and lived 235 miles away. I politely declined his kind offer to 'show me a good time' BlushGrin

MsArsebiscuit · 03/01/2013 16:03

'Show you a good time' - was he going to take you on a tour of the Werther's Original factory ?

48howdidthathappen · 03/01/2013 16:06

Flo They remind of the swingers out of 'Benidorm' Grin

OhLittleTownofWesternWind · 03/01/2013 16:42

LM is unwell, unable to have all-day shagathon so have finished wallpapering bedroom instead. Fingers crossed he's feeling up to a visit tonight. Very disappointed Sad

MsArsebiscuit · 03/01/2013 16:46

Poor you, OWW and poor LM. Wallpapering isn't much of a shagathon substitute.

48howdidthathappen · 03/01/2013 16:48

Oh that is crap. No shagathon.

Hope he perks up for tonight Smile

OhLittleTownofWesternWind · 03/01/2013 18:04

No it's real proper manflu. Much suffering is going on, bed cannot be got out of, speaking is impossible.

Meh.

ddrmum · 03/01/2013 18:08

Hi all, this is my first time posting on here but it looks like a good laugh!! Strangely, I find myself in a 'relationship' after a few weeks after months of chatting online. Now don't get me wrong, I am one of the biggest cynics and overly cautious esp as my kids have been through enough, however for some reason Mr F has gotten under my skin! He completely adores me (yes I know, but I don't know why iyswim!!) has told me he loves me - trust me there really is no hidden agenda, and that was all before quite possibly the most incredible NYE - which was a complete & unexpected shagathon Xmas Grin!! Now I'm trying to get my head around it all - very whirlwind, very delicious, very......!! BUT eventhough he does know my 'situation', hasn't met my DCs and I haven't introduced anyone to them in the 2yrs since my divorce from their dad.............No, he's not some weirdo but he totally 'gets me' & there is no pressure from him, he is patient. I have no intention of rushing anything and gettting to spend time with him is difficult atm due to DCs having reduced contact with exH (he's a twat!), but would appreciate any advice as to how to introduce someone into their lives be it this lovely man or someone elseHmm Thanks all

ddrmum · 03/01/2013 18:10

OWW - manflu, how rubbish!! Hope LM gets better soon......

MsArsebiscuit · 03/01/2013 18:14

Hello ddrmum, that all sounds fantastic, I know some people on here have introduced their children to new partners so I'm sure they'll be able to advise you ( I've not been in that situation yet )

ddrmum · 03/01/2013 18:27

Thanks MsA - really don't want to make it harder than it needs to be and actually, can't believe that I want to introduce him to them!! I do have male friends (real proper friends!!) so they are used to them popping in. Fingers crossed you'll meet someone who ticks all the boxes soon - BTW loved the 'show you a good time comment earlier in this thread!! xx

Original poster
lubeybooby · 03/01/2013 18:30

Hi ddrmum. I have a 6 month rule even though my dd is now an older teen... so not even a hint of them being around during that time. Then I've introduced as a friend, and then all gone out for a day out and a meal, then slowly work up to them being around overnight, and then finally - telling them before the facebook relationship status gets updated.

Well, that was what I did back when i was in a relationship and my DD was 14 anyway. It seemed to work well.

With BC I knew we were not heading in a serious direction so even though we were together 10 months he never met my DD in the capacity of bf... they met with him as 'friend' a couple of times but that was all.

OP posts:
ddrmum · 03/01/2013 18:47

Hi lubeyboobey, I think 6mth is probably about right & to introduce him as a friend is the only way forward. Mr F doesn't have any children but to date is very accepting that this is how it's going to be as they are the priority esp as the 3DCs are all under 10. I'm trying to balance my gut feeling (which is very good) with common sense & my cautious approach!
They know I go out with my friends when they are with their dad on a Sun pm yet he constantly asks them about who is at mums house etc so safer & easier for all to keep things quiet - the exH has been in a relationship since we split & introduced his gf as 'his mums friend' very early on to the kids - so long as shes good to them that's all I care about.
As a relationship, it should get easier as the exH is likely to get overnight contact back in the next couple of months if he can behave himself Angry
I won't bother with the FB update lol!! Thanks very much for the sound advice.Smile

OhLittleTownofWesternWind · 03/01/2013 18:50

Well, ddr I guess it would depend on the age of your children. Mine are 7 and ten, no contact with their father so no "conflict of interest" iykwim. They knew I was seeing LM from a couple of months in and found it (still find it) hilarious that I have a bf.

They met him very casually over Christmas when he popped over to pick something up and I asked him in for a coffee small c. They weren't at all bothered, came and had a nosy then wandered off.

Things have got more serious so on NYD we took all five dcs his and mine to the park and for a meal, very casual and informal. No physical contact between him and I, all very child-orientated friendly chat. Dcs all got on well, very encouraging, and no one seems to think its a big deal despite this being the first proper relationship for both of us.

There was no big build up, either, so no one had time to get nervous, overexcited or whatever. I just told mine we were going to the park then on the way said LM and his dcs would be there too.

Sorry, that got a bit long.

JulietteMontague · 03/01/2013 18:50

Ok I'm just back from meeting The Major. It was to see if I could change my approach to first meetings and I had few expectations of it working. On the phone he was quite staid, boring and continuously talked about himself but in RL he was very different once he got going. He was actually lovely, probably not for me romantically but I really enjoyed meeting him and we had a good chat.

Yet another kiss out of nowhere. At least it was on my cheek and I wasn't offended. We were walking along the street, no physical contact at all, when he me a big kiss and said you're lovely. I must have looked shocked as he said his last date complained he was standoffish as he hadn't tried to kiss her Hmm.

He would like to see me again, has left it to me to call (happy with that). There are a few things to think about, will process the date over the next couple of days.

Yoga how is Yogadog doing?

ddrmum welcome, it is all quite fast and is lovely but it is early days yet and could go either way. I would leave it a bit longer until you have the measure of him before you introduce DC. It also depends how old they are, young children sometimes assume a new relationship means you are getting married etc. like the Hollywood stories, they have no concept of casual. Very young children can just accept your 'friend' is having a sleepover but you would still have to deal with the way they could see it such as why he can be in your bed and they can't Smile

Nomorepain · 03/01/2013 18:51

Evening all!!

I've just text mysterious man from last night. Would anyone like to look at his profile on match to sense check him for me. Feel like I've lost all sense of judgement for some reason I find the whole tel number thing a bit forward especially when he didn't even tell me his name. I am such a kid. Need to grow up I think!!!

JulietteMontague · 03/01/2013 18:53

Nomore I'm in, PM me if you like

SevenSnapespearesSwimming · 03/01/2013 18:54

Hi ddrmum

I was overly cautious with 'the-one-after-the-ex' took 18 months to introduce him to my DCs and that was because I was moving house and needed help unpacking mind you, he never introduced me to his mum, so I think the 18 months was warranted.

I think 6 months is generally about right. One can get swept up in the adrenalin oxytocin thing of the first few weeks of getting together (lovely!) by the time you reach the 6 month mark you should have more of an indication of what is happening and then the...'this is my chum...' Gradual integration sounds fine. :-)