14yearold girl slept with 23yearild man

[RileyTheLittleMonster]

This is not me!
I'm using different name, 14 year old girl-Jill
Man, jack

End if January I walked in and found jack ontop if Jill having sex, very disturbing.. these two people are well was really close to me. It's jills second time she lost her virginity at 13 but we found out a ciuple weeks after this happened.

Jills mum decided to ground her for two months and band her from seeing him for a couple if weeks until her 15th birthday.

Jill is my sister, my mum hasnt stopped her from seeing him he is around EVERY WEEKEND.

They lie on the sofa giving each other love bites, he sneakers upstairs at night until past 3am and he sets his alarm every morning at 6-7am to go upstairs .

I find it very weird but my mum is soft!! What shalld i di?

Don't feel you have to change your name, i'm sure most people give their 'bump' a name, sorry to hear about your losses.
Your mum is entitled to so much help, maybe advise her to call CAB?
Call the nspcc tomorrow about your sister and see what they suggest.
Hope you are feeling better soon.

Just changed my name, dont want to explain to people why my name is that just because my little boy had a nickname then unfortantly died.

I'm going to talk to them, then hopeful/y sort everything out. Thankyou for the support evryone

U need to go on the pill urself

Nanny I think Riley/Sophie has already explained the circumstances of her pregnancies and has made arrangements for contraception.

Sophie as a total aside, I had the implant which seemed to be effective and not as easily messed up as the pill. It lasts 3 years :)

You didn't have to change your name, sweetie, but now that you have done I want you to know I'll always remember Riley, the little monster

Oh dear, what a very sad thread.

Sophie, firstly I am very sad for your loss. I think you have made a positive, wise and mature decision to get appropriate contraception (please make sure you do this and follow through) and focus on your education.

To respond to your post:

You love your mum, but you need to separate what you feel from her actions. She isn't being a good mum to you or your sister right now. There may be understandable reasons for this in respect of the pressure of care for other siblings and lack of support, but it is a harsh truth you need to accept.

This "man" pervert should not be allowed in the home and she needs to address this. She should not be placing a decision to call the police on you, that's her job.

I think as a start you need to speak to someone in confidence who can help you, such as the NSPCC or Childline. Find out what the options are and then speak to your mother and ask her what SHE intends to do next.

Good luck - I wish you all the best

Nothing to add but stay strong and good luck? x

That should be a ! not ? .

Thank you izzy it means alot, its always nice to hear and know that someine understand

Thank you for your advice everyone it has been taken on bored and i will act upon it.

Thank yiu bonkey, uour name made me laugh.. its cool!

Ta very much

I am sorry you felt like you had to change your name too. Some people are thoughtless and cruel and they don't understand loss. :(
I am sorry about what happened to Riley and I really hope you do take care of yourself now, as well as trying to help your sister and your family, because you have clearly had a terrible time.

You've had a great deal to cope with of late, Sophie, and it's not your place to take the weight of the world your family on your shoulders.

The stark reality is that given the backlog of reports, some critical, of children at risk that will have built up over the Christmas/New Year holidays, if you make contact with the NSPCC later today it is unlikely that any enquiries will be made by your dm's local SS until sometime next week at the earliest.

I would therefore suggest that you spend today concentrating on your own health and make it your prority to go see a doctor as you've planned.

When you see your dm on Tuesday, sit down with her, outline your concerns about your dsis, be honest with her about what you know has been taking place, and urge her to make contact with SS as a matter of urgency.

Your dm needs to know that she has nothing to fear from asking for help with, and for, your dsis who is exhibiting behaviour that is not uncommon in young people who have suffered historic sexual abuse*.

From what you've said, your dm is doing everything within her power to keep her family together but she needs the benefit of SS intervention to enable her to promote your dsis's welfare and wellbeing.

It's probable that past sexual abuse is causing your dsis to act out but this extreme attention seeking behaviour may be exascerbated by the amount of time your dm is required to attend to the needs of your disabled db an younger siblings.

I cannot emphasise enough that voluntarily contacting SS is NOT going to put your dm at risk of losing her dc, but she should give thought to how it will appear to others if, for example, your dsis is found to be pg at 14 or 15.

Should this occur, it's probable it will emerge that your dsis has been having underage sex with a 23yo man while under your dm's roof and IMO your dm has more than enough to contend with without having that visited on her.

If, after hearing your full and frank disclosure, your dm is unwilling to make contact with SS or your dsis's headteacher, report your concerns to the NSPCC and they will subsequently notify your dm's local authority who are duty bound to investigate any reports passed to them by that agency.

However, please be aware that if your dm and your dsis deny that anything untoward is taking place or refuse any offer of help, and if your dsis's school have no concerns about her behaviour, that will most probably be the end of the matter and you will have to content yourself with knowing that you've done everything possible to demonstrate your love and concern for your dm and dsis.

Apropos the * in the above, children who have been sexualised at an early age can feel older than their years and it occurs to me you should give some consideration to whether what happened to you has any bearing on your apparent desire to have baby at such an early age, Sophie.

It may be that, through no fault of your dm, you are harbouring some feelings of lack; perhaps of the parental love and attention oldest dcs' can perceive as having bypassed them in favour of younger and more demanding dc.

You wouldn't unusual if you sought to fill this lack, this void, by having a baby; perhaps in the belief that you will have someone in your life who will unquestionably and exclusively love you and that you can shower with love and attention.

Or perhaps it seems to you that you should have a baby because you waited until what may seem, in contrast with your peers, the ripe old age of 17+ to lose your virginity to the young man you intend to spend the rest of your life with - and having babies is what adults do to show their commitment to each other.

But the very young woman you are now is not the young woman you will be when you are 25 and, when you reach that age, you will look back and be astounded at how much you thought you knew and how little you actually knew - and how little you still know

You have a very long life ahead of you, honey, and I urge you not to be in any rush to bring dc into this world until you have fully experienced a lot more of it. As for your dp, if it is intended that he is to be your lifelong partner nothing will prevent this happening, but you do not need to demonstrate your commitment to each other by having a baby to cement your union at this early stage in your lives and in your relationship.

I sincerely hope that you will keep posting here and that you'll find time to dip in and out of all the various boards as you'll learn so much from the collective wisdom of this site - I can only wish it was available when I was your age and I also wish that more youngs girls would discover it and use it's extensive resources to empower them.

And that's what 'girl power' is about, honey. Not the cheap tokenism peddled by a manufactured girl band, but the knowledge that is handed down by women to women in the hope that future generations will be empowered to take no shit control of their lives and become all that they can be without being dependent or reliant on men for their personal and professional fulfilment.

I wish you a very Happy New Year and look forward to your update after you've spoken to your dm.

Well I was going to post but izzy has said it all really. There are many children growing up with problems such as the OP's and in families that need support. Please follow izzy's advice OP and good luck.

Well said Izzy.

Sophie please follow Izzy's advice.

I was once that 13/14 year old. The 'relationship' became more and more odd and abusive and secretive. I still suffer MH issues as a result and have spent years in therapy. Call the police and report him, I wish someone had done that for me.

Sophie you've had plenty of good advice about your sister so I won't add to it.

I just wanted to say, please change your name back. If that's one of your ways of thinking of/remembering/celebrating your precious Riley then please don't let nasty comments on here make you change that. So sorry for your losses.

Surely the man shoul be reported to the police? He will move on to another child even if Sophie manages to get him away from her sis. He is a pedophile rapist and should be reported.

I've been there too Sparkle, same age. I'm in therapy now because of it. I have PTSD and suffer anxiety and panic. Please please help your sister.

Thinking of you Sparkle.

Izzy's said what I would, too, Sophie, including the part about understanding why you wanted to keep Riley's nickname alive.

It's good to protect your sister and your mum. First, though, take good care of yourself - as the cabin crew says before take-off, "secure your own oxygen before attempting to help others". Keep talking and asking for help - and go for that distinction! Good luck :)

I'm truly sorry to harp on about names, sweetheart, but if you have any concerns whatsoever about keeping anonymous then perhaps it would be a good idea to ask MN to pull this thread and start a new one.

(Assuming that your given name in RL is Sophie, and that the male name mentioned in one of your earlier posts is your boyfriend's real name, and that your beautiful boy (RIP) was indeed called Riley - if all of that is true then you could almost certainly be identified, particularly as the sister of twins and a SN younger brother.)

Please do believe that I post this out of concern, and not as a dig at you.

I forgot about real names, and saying how many siblings I have! I'm going to leave this post now. Thank you all so much for your advice. I am going to speak to my mum today, I'm now on conception and my thyroid is apparently getting better so the new year is becoming brighter already.

I will make sure something is done about the situation, if my mum doesn't do something about it I will make sure as Jack and Jill's presence makes me feel really uncomfortable.

I'm going to change my user name back to something how it was but different. Thank you all for giving me the courage to do something about it :) Especially Izzy You're advice has been amazing and you say it how it is. That's what i normally do.

Happy New Year everyone . x

Your posts are slightly confusing but you definitely need to call the police.

Some years ago I found out that my 15 year old sister was seeing a 21 year old, she wasn't a virgin, she had just gotten out for a two year relationship, but I knew the 21yr old and knew he was trouble so I called the police. They didn't want to do much and my sister lied and said they they weren't having sex so he wasnt charged.
He became very controlling and I was very worried about DSIS.
It took a while (and the help of my sister ex) but we eventually convinced her to end the relationship, then things turned sour, he stalked her, for months, following her to and from school, waiting out side of her weekend job, leaving her presents and letters at the back door and on her window ledge.
The police were very helpful and in the end he was charged with statutory rape and sent to prison for just over a year.

He also gave my sister chlamydia.

Your sister is a child, it is your responsability to protect her.

Firstly, it isn't Sophie's responsibility to protect her dsis WAE as that duty more properly falls to her dm and/or her df.

Secondly, as you clearly know, unless Sophie's dsis is willing co-operate the police cannot act in this matter and involving them at this point may cause the dsis to believe that she and her current sexual partner are 'star-crossed lovers' with a predictably negative outcome

Sophie's dsis is in need of professional help to enable her to understand what has caused her to enter into a relationship with an adult male who does not have her best interests at heart, and why it is inappropriate for her to be sexually active without using contraceptive protection at this time in her young life.

In doing well in her studies, Sophie can lead by example to her siblings by showing that education is where it's at and, to that end, I sincerely hope she'll be putting any thoughts of becoming pg again out of her mind until she's firmly established in a career of her choice.

Happy New Year to you, too, Sophie. I hope 2013 is the year you'll look back on as the one in which you came of age emotionally and began to focus on seeking fulfilment through educational achievement.