14yearold girl slept with 23yearild man

[RileyTheLittleMonster]

This is not me!
I'm using different name, 14 year old girl-Jill
Man, jack

End if January I walked in and found jack ontop if Jill having sex, very disturbing.. these two people are well was really close to me. It's jills second time she lost her virginity at 13 but we found out a ciuple weeks after this happened.

Jills mum decided to ground her for two months and band her from seeing him for a couple if weeks until her 15th birthday.

Jill is my sister, my mum hasnt stopped her from seeing him he is around EVERY WEEKEND.

They lie on the sofa giving each other love bites, he sneakers upstairs at night until past 3am and he sets his alarm every morning at 6-7am to go upstairs .

I find it very weird but my mum is soft!! What shalld i di?

[Leithlurker]

I am afraid everyone who has said that you will be helping this man abuse your sister by doing nothing or nothing that helps at any rate is correct Riley, you have to do this it is not a choice you must phone and get help.

[MrsSham]

I think peanut may be getting at the fact if mum has support for ds then she may have someone who could advice her and equally if she has a lot to manage with little support then seeking support may be useful in how she is able to manage this situation. I'm sure it may be far more difficult to manage a child who is out of control whilst single handedly supporting a child with complex needs as well as other children. I think asking what support mum has is very relevant.

[fuckadoodlepoopoo]

Your mum is allowed your sister to be sexually abused

[Leithlurker]

Thats only good enough Riley if you make it clear that on Tuesday you or her will make the call. Anything less and you will both be helping this man hurt your sister.

[DontYouJingleMyChristingle]

Look this is not about your username.

Your sister is underage, this guy is abusing her.

Your mum may not be reporting him, but you can.

Tell your mum either she stops him coming there and reports him to the Police when you speak to her (make sure you are present so you know she has) or you will report him and it will look worse for her.

Your sister has already been through enough as you know, she needs your mum or you to step and protect her. She may not like you for it now, but in time she will understand. At 14 with her experiences she cannot see how wrong this is.

[RileyTheLittleMonster]

Mum doesn't get any support. She works three jobs to provide for us

[Leithlurker]

Not in the way she asked it though as if it was a cross examination. And the MC that was relevant how? Or does being on contact with a nurse give Riley special access to support that could be used to help her sister.

[MrsSham]

Are you in the u.k OP, if so your mum and brother may be entitled to support.

[RileyTheLittleMonster]

I am calling on Tuesday

[Fairyegg]

Have you tried ringing the nspcc or childlike on behalf of your sister? They should be able to advise you in confidence. It seems to me that your sister (and perhaps yourself) are lacking in self respect, and I mean that kindly. I once heard someone say that until you learn to treat yourself with respect, nobody else will either. After abuse many people feel they don't deserve that respect and hence 'allow' situations to occur, especially sexual ones, that they really shouldn't. Could that be true for your sister? Do you think there's anything that could improve her self respect, getting into a hobby, getting good grades at school etc? Could you help her / yourself / the whole family to arrange counselling? Maybe see your doctor or ask at your sisters school? I really think speaking to childline or the nspcc would be a great starting point and then encourage your mum to talk about home matters with the school, maybe with you supporting her?.

[Leithlurker]

Riley Jingle is absolutly right, it is up to you. I know thats not what you want but thats how it is.

[RileyTheLittleMonster]

In the UK MrsSham but she doesn't get support. He has part of his brain missimg which causes learning difficulties and anger problems

[MrsSham]

I think an assesment of your brothers needs And a separate carers assesment may help your mum in the long run.

[RileyTheLittleMonster]

I've been trying to support her but she wont open upto me. Thank you for your advice everyone. Going to ring Nspcc tomorrow see what they say. Make sure my mum knows she is alone and nothing bad will happen. Thank you again

[Leithlurker]

Riley never mind your brother, focus on your sister. I would hope that once others are involved more support for your mum and your brother would be made available, I knoiw your mum works hard and probably she is very very tired and stressed. I think a lot of good could come out of contacting ss but it is vital that this man stops abusing your sister, he is abusing you all and getting away with it. It has to stop.

[peanutMD]

Riley, I know it may be hard but for the sake of your sister you NEED to call someone and report this or atleast call Social Services to request help for your mum.

Everything in your posts suggest that things at home are hectic and your mum has probably given up arguing with your sister, unfortunately though this can't be put aside like an argument about wearing too much make up or staying out past curfew this is a fight to stop your vulnerable sister being ABUSED.

You say you were abused in the past so you more than most know how it can manipulate your thoughts especially if the culprit is 'affectionate' towards you, this is essentially grooming her to believe that she wants it to happen.

Please, please, please don't leave it any longer she may hate you for a little while but it will save her from hating herself in years to come!!

[NaturalBaby]

You are 18, the most you should be worrying about is doing well at college.

Your mum needs support, she can't just hide at home with all these issues and worry that her kids will get taken away - it's not helping anyone and as you can see the problems are not going away. How bad does it have to get?
A lot of damage has been done and is being done - sexual abuse in the past and right now. Your mum needs to stand up for her kids and take responsibility for their welfare. That's her job as your mother, not yours.

[MrsSham]

I think it is important to consider her brother and her mum. it must be very difficult for mum to be coping and support that will benifits the whole family is equally important, if mum is doing 3 jobs and caring for her family single handedly then the appropriate support is vital in ensuring mum can manage her families needs and that includes the sisters situation.

[peanutMD]

Bloody hell Leith if you insist on reading my words in a bizarre tone I shall spell it out for you.

I asked in the way I did because I have asked the same questions that have been asked 10x before with no reply.

I assumed they must be getting lost in the sentences, so outright questions would be easier to see.

The reason I asked about counselling is because I think that the OP is struggling with the miscarriages and then all of this on top. I thought it would be a good idea to perhaps speak to someone about everything.

Apparently not

[MrsSham]

Also if any of your siblings are under school age it may be worth contacting home start in your area and ask if they can provide any support to your mum. I think your mum would really benifit from this type of support. here

[AnnieLobeseder]

I want to know why on earth your boyfriend's friend is staying over when you do. What the heck business does he have being there? You say he can only stay when you are there. Why is he there at all? You are allowing this abuse of your sister by bringing this man into your home. And your mum is even worse since she is allowing all of this to happen while she is the responsible adult. Yes, you should call NSPCC and SS, but why is he in the house in the first place?

[RileyTheLittleMonster]

I am going to call nspcc for advice.

[TwoFacedCows]

Jesus, how strange and messed up! i did think the user name was very odd, but i do recall seeing the name before.

[Fairyegg]

Good luck op. you clearly care very much for your sister, she's lucky to have you, just make sure you follow though with some sort of plan to help her now.

[RileyTheLittleMonster]

Can my username please stay out of this. He was named our little monster when I got a postive test. Im going to change it tomorrow.

Id do anything to help her out