Heartbroken and struggling to cope

[Chaoscarriesonagain]

That's just it really. DP and I have gone our seperate ways. He was perfect in the beginning .. Grew into aggressive, ill tempered and sometimes emotional abuser. It progressed into pushing me, bruises to boot etc. Yet after all this I didn't have the courage to leave. After a horrendous Christmas with MIL and my parents I cracked and told parents extent. Last night they helped me remove everything from our home together. His reaction was empty, infact he ran away.

I haven't eaten, I can't sleep, all I can think of is the love I have for him. I wish it could go , I feel like am in mourning. It goes against everything I believe in.

I am so lucky; everyone rallying round; all I want us to see him, smell him and kiss him. But he wanted to end the relationship; he blames me for awful MIL reaction to Christmas. I can't fathom out what to do. I want this man who never treated me right, I crave and desire him, against the best wishes if all friends and family.

I am really, really struggling.

I have my book on my iPhone.

Keep flicking back to it, but it can't disengage my heart strings!

Trying not to dwell, won't repeat, but its so hard!!!

You need a new book. I shall have a look.now on Google play.

Can you suggest a self help book, justfab?

(((Chaos)))

Hi sole. Thanks! Am not finding the self help elements overly useful at the mo, whilst I acknowledge they are helpful in iterating points, I need to help myself first and begin to lose the heart pull!

Damn it

I was messing around with my Gogle account ladt night. I signed out, signed back in but Google play are not recognising that I.am signed in!!
Just when I need it.

Where exactly did you find your book Chaos.,which phone have you got?

No idea of how to get back into Google play :( ffs

Bloody hell! I actually can .

Paul McKenna - I can mend your broken heart. Book and CD. I went to about 5 shops before I found it in 2011 and then took myself to the park and read it in one go, then sat in the car to listen to the cd. I listened to it more times in the future.

That helped, plus determination, plus me realising I was being an idiot and risking my marriage. Hard work. Still minor wobbles but I am there.

Ooh soinds a good one . Have heard of it but thought hmm. Blardy Google Play broken :( bet you xan get that Chaos the Paul McKenna book/cd.

Did it give exercises etc?

I can't stand him but credit where credit's due it helped me.

Thought exercises, little things to do. You could listen to the CD while going off to sleep too.

Can't stand him lol yeah he seems a bit of a prick. :)

Though people swear by his weight loss book.

Will buy it.

Try it Chaos.

Have you eaten today?

I mean buy the book justfab suggestrd for me too.

How about watching a,weepy film to cry at?

I have the Paul McKenna book somewhere, I think I am over my ex now though tbh. I may just have some attachment issues. Hope you are doing okay

You cannot fall out of lose if in week, it doesn't happen like that, you have to grieve for your relationship no matter how shitty it was, you will have had good times and if anything like me you will remember those times very well.

You will also ask 'why?' a lot I still do this.... I have no other answer than this was my x's choice to be an abuser, I have no idea why I just need to get me and Dc better and have half a life to lead now.

It's not going to be easy you will have up and down days, try your best to gave yourself some time daily to talk it through or write things down, get it all out.

I think it can take every one a different amount of time to fall out of love and it will take a different length of time with each boyfriend. I fell out of love in minutes with 2 men. They made it very easy to stop caring about them. Another one took years. I have walked away from some relationships without a second look and with no regrets. With another there will always be sadness and regret. Your heart feels what it feels but sometimes you need to listen to your head more..

Chaos Coooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

You okay?

Chaos... Hellooo:)

Hey. Am here. Hopelessly pining !

You will be ok.

No more pining, don't waste your feelings on someone who isn't worthy.

Yes, imagine you are. Each day withput him/your usual routines on a weeday/night, weekend has gone. You are still withdrawing. Trying to figure things out day to day.

Wish I could think like that fabulous!

How about a box set of DVDs.

Watch anything on TV you.liked or something you missed?

Will watch the thatcher movie later.

Why do I want back?

Oooh I want to waych that too.

Say it again Chaos..

I know, I know.