Heartbroken and struggling to cope

[Chaoscarriesonagain]

That's just it really. DP and I have gone our seperate ways. He was perfect in the beginning .. Grew into aggressive, ill tempered and sometimes emotional abuser. It progressed into pushing me, bruises to boot etc. Yet after all this I didn't have the courage to leave. After a horrendous Christmas with MIL and my parents I cracked and told parents extent. Last night they helped me remove everything from our home together. His reaction was empty, infact he ran away.

I haven't eaten, I can't sleep, all I can think of is the love I have for him. I wish it could go , I feel like am in mourning. It goes against everything I believe in.

I am so lucky; everyone rallying round; all I want us to see him, smell him and kiss him. But he wanted to end the relationship; he blames me for awful MIL reaction to Christmas. I can't fathom out what to do. I want this man who never treated me right, I crave and desire him, against the best wishes if all friends and family.

I am really, really struggling.

I've just ignored him. Like he's ignored my feelings.

If I text that I risk getting embroiled in it again, and I just can't do it to myself

Am slowly going mad though, time goes by so slowly doesn't it?

I does.... sometimes, but your gonna get all busy soon and not think about at all. I give mine one day a week, he doesn't get it now as I have no counselling, he has 1.5 hours every 2 weeks now, on a Thursday, if I think of him not on a Thursday I give myself a row and move him to Thursday!!

It take a bit of time. I was going to call mine today, just to yell at him. I didn't/haven't, waste of my voice.

I can't be weak now, I just can't. Musn't call him.

He doesn't give a ......

Like many have said ACTIONS not words. There has been no action

Talk to us instead.

I am so struggling not to call him!!!! Why is there such a hold????

Because you loved him.

I know how you feel. It took me years a long time to get over someone and I made a complete idiot of myself many many times. I still think about him but have no contact and won't make any. I can't say I wouldn't reply if he called me though .

My advice would be to delete his number.

Allow yourself a set time each day to think about him if you feel you need that, and don't think about him at any other time. Sooner than you think the time will go by and you will have forgotten to think about him.

Or just don't allow any thoughts of him into your head.

It is still early days but don't fall into the trap of wallowing.

You know he is a prick. He also is not the man for you so concentrate on enjoying your single life and don't allow a man of such insignificance to take up any more of your time.

I know it is hard but you have to take control.

It's already deleted, but I know it off by heart. Am fortunate to be blessed with an incredible memory - it's a curse though! I remember numbers, words, memories in intricate detail.

Had another text asking if I called him earlier!! No!!!!

He so doesn't give a fuck about chaos. Chaos wants and commands more!

Grieve, cry, go running, read self help books etc.

Very very early days

Xx

GOOD FOR YOU!!!

Eat something

What you eaten today?

Did you go to nurse?

Take a test?

x

Fed up of grieving sole

But you're back and that's made me

Got apt for Tuesday. Still not eating :(

Still inandsssed by his text last night!!! And the how are you...

That's it all he can say?

Do we believe in karma??

Incandescent *

You're not getting rid of me that easily. :)

Yappy not so.good, she might be here..

Chaos

Come join us on the sweary.thread in chat

Pas time get other peoples perspectives too

Realky good, friendly bunch chaos you'd be mostwelcome

You too justfab :)

In his mind it is over Chaos. He is being polite.

He is an abusive, hurtful, cold, physically violent, ignorant, fismisdive, self centered cunt

Language curtailed today, but ill be there soon!!!!

Slowly losing the will....

Work on Monday, got to face this.

Got to look fabulous and confident and be better than the person I was when with him. I love my job and am respected

But... What do I tell people?

You say if it arises

You loved and respected each other and parted amicabally.

Thats all chaos

Does that feel right?

If pressed repeat like a record

sole he's a bastard, it wasn't amicable. Why should I lie???

In the short term it might make things eadier for you. You might be bombarded by unwanted questions/advice. You might be gossiped about. Bide ypur time and choose carefully who you tell.

Ok, but as ill see him at work I don't want staff letting him Ito my office??

You could add that you prefer it if he was not able to enter the office just because ot is early days and understandably you find that prospect difficult. Don't explain why.

What do you think chaos/justfab?

People are more u.detstanding than we think and should respect what you say and feel.it is improper to pressfor further.info.

This is you taling control remember.

Remain dignified, as you.naturally are.

My feeling about your "is that all he can say?" text is that he is testing the waters. He isn't going to say much else as he wants the upper hand but you need to remember he can only have it if you give it to him.

Work - If anyone asks what do you want to say? And say that. Just remember you owe no one any explanations but if you feel you can't cope with him in your office at the moment you need to tell someone you trust at work that you need that not to happen.

I told my work the truth, my line manager... the other people suspected anyway, they were social workers, they made me rebel in a good way.

I will read back see what the bastard has been up to today. I had to change my number in the end though, his constant texting will affect you, every texts, he will pretend to change soon, he may even be capable, for a few weeks. Mine would still like to contact me the strange erm.. no not man.. weirdo that he is, I detest him, he thinks because we have 16 years of history we should do something with it, I agree bury it and block it all out, like a nightmare!