Heartbroken and struggling to cope

[Chaoscarriesonagain]

That's just it really. DP and I have gone our seperate ways. He was perfect in the beginning .. Grew into aggressive, ill tempered and sometimes emotional abuser. It progressed into pushing me, bruises to boot etc. Yet after all this I didn't have the courage to leave. After a horrendous Christmas with MIL and my parents I cracked and told parents extent. Last night they helped me remove everything from our home together. His reaction was empty, infact he ran away.

I haven't eaten, I can't sleep, all I can think of is the love I have for him. I wish it could go , I feel like am in mourning. It goes against everything I believe in.

I am so lucky; everyone rallying round; all I want us to see him, smell him and kiss him. But he wanted to end the relationship; he blames me for awful MIL reaction to Christmas. I can't fathom out what to do. I want this man who never treated me right, I crave and desire him, against the best wishes if all friends and family.

I am really, really struggling.

Oh no fsbulous am not sending them!! Listing them here to let it all out!!!

Oh seeing it written down will be worse!!!

Am beginning to panic about work

What is making you panic? Work through each issue and someone will come up with solutions.

Thursday. 2 hours there, 2 back from here. I know am not in a mindset to get a place by myself just yet, I need the love and support i have here. But it's going to be physically and mentally draining

Reading the freedom programme now. He is a bully and a persuader

Where did you get it Chaos?

'One day you'll wake up and see him as be really is - where you saw an Adonis, you'll see a selfish child, where you'll see a prince you'll see a FROG...'

this quote is saving me just now

iBooks!

*where you saw a prince

Oh good you have my bible... I seem to have misplaced 1 or 2!

Keep reading..... and take it all in please, I seem to have hidden mines ... it will turn up!

I need to find my book!

I remember that line.....

Basically you loved part of a man.
But part of a man is not enough for me.
And I dont think, and hope, it is not enough for you either.

I have my bible again.. everything makes sense almost again!

I crassy posted back last week.... I am sorry, it was not meant for here, I was too to apologise, I am sorry though, that was terrible bad timing/wrong thread.... and I feel awful now!

Glad you have found the book though!

It's never enough tbh... Mine was a few in the book (okay all)

I did not accept it and hid the book. I hid the wrong items/book/person...

Got there though! It's better I promise!

Best of luck op back soon... detest this time of year!

Chaos whom is the authors of the book please?

Glad you lking what you are learning so far ...

sole its Pat Craven... pm your address you ca this copy I have found mine... will be with your as soon as normal life resumes... well post office opens!

I keep dropping my words....

can and have

Thanks yappy!

Chaos :)

Can you share any insight from that book please? I am impatient to receive my copy :)

Hello! Well it splits into key characteristics ; the bully, the persuader, the head worker, the jailer, the liar and so on,

It goes onto list the key characteristics, and now that makes us feel. It explores some of the deeper understanding that we struggle with; the how, why, our appeasement for an 'easy life' and so on.

It has helped me identify him as a bully and a persuader; someone who loses the rag, intimidates, and then someone who cries the next day.

Ooh gosh. I think my ex was bully, persuader and a massive relentless liar!!

Hey chaos, haven't forgotten you. Just calling in to say hello and let you know been thinking of you. You have amazing support on here! So pleased you are not alone.

This year will be all about you!