Heartbroken and struggling to cope

[Chaoscarriesonagain]

That's just it really. DP and I have gone our seperate ways. He was perfect in the beginning .. Grew into aggressive, ill tempered and sometimes emotional abuser. It progressed into pushing me, bruises to boot etc. Yet after all this I didn't have the courage to leave. After a horrendous Christmas with MIL and my parents I cracked and told parents extent. Last night they helped me remove everything from our home together. His reaction was empty, infact he ran away.

I haven't eaten, I can't sleep, all I can think of is the love I have for him. I wish it could go , I feel like am in mourning. It goes against everything I believe in.

I am so lucky; everyone rallying round; all I want us to see him, smell him and kiss him. But he wanted to end the relationship; he blames me for awful MIL reaction to Christmas. I can't fathom out what to do. I want this man who never treated me right, I crave and desire him, against the best wishes if all friends and family.

I am really, really struggling.

It hurts so bad. It's the rejection too, like am not attractive, there's something wrong with me, there's someone else. The mind is a dangerous thing

Don't phone him, don't text.

He will hurt you.

If he grows up and realises what he has done and what he has lost, and wants to come back, you will know because it is genuine, and not because you begged, showed weakness, or other stupid things some people have done.

By then you will be so over him it will be Twat Who?

I'll never have him in my life again. He's deystroyed the best in me.

For now.

This text may hsve been a 'send to multiple contacts' text. He hasn't deleted your number so you were in receipt of that?

Keep your dognity.

Do not call
If possible do not answer his xall. Text if about petsonal belongings etc

You won't regret this.

Speaking to him will not change what he was or whom he is or the future with you.

You are a highly intelligent woman. Better than he. You know how to give people respect. You know what he did was disrespecting your core, soul,mind and resoect for him.

Have you bought your freedom programme book on your phone/kindle?

Hestrryon gawd that was his excuse, shortage of so.gle men? F.hell

I love a happy ending Hesterton. :) for you both x

Hesterton what do you.think about the text he sent to Chaos?

Learn to love you Chaos. It is a long painful process. Be single for a while.

It's a horrid situation at a horrid time Chaos! My X is trying to look for me, now... I even thought of him at Xmas in a fluffy way, he is not fluffy or even nice!

This will be up there witjh one of the most difficult things in life imo! Make the horrid men horrid men.... it's difficult it you have 6 good memories...

I think Anyfucker is pissed off with trolls tbh! COME BACK PLEASE!!!! I have no words...

I have done the whole music thing today too, anything to get past today tbh!! If you hit messages poster ad pm your address I promise not to drink anymore from tomorrow.... Honestly I detest NYear for no reason at all ...other than things being on your mind!

That fluffy feeling last night... that's gone I destroyed it with one text this morning.

You okay choas?

He has only destroyed just now... wewill get some fire in that tummy and some going on... soon! I was even going to give my ex the delight of a hang up call erm.. last week.... those guys are like nits, they crawl under your skin and erm.. stay!! You can wash and wash the hair but they have already moved onto sucking the blood do you feel stuck, you are not, you need better nit shampoo and a comb, ....
OMg that makes no sense....

sole it had my name in it. Wasn't a multiple but for supposedly being so personal, it was so cold. Who is the freedom programme by?

hesterton I knew who I was before him. I feel I invested so much into it that am empty now, and lost sight of the person pre-him

I wish I'd listened to my dad from day 1.....

Women's Aid Chaos.

Brb

Definitely keep your dognitity as he will never let you down.

hesterton YES!!!!! He can't cope with his emotions. He's acting like all of this is ok. It's not ok for a 34 year old man, it's just not

He's clearly a confused individual with issues. I don't know what my expectations were from the text??? I suppose I just wanted honesty from him. He has to care somewhere, he just has to. But he either can't show it or he doesn't. It's easier believing the latter.

hesterton am so happy for you!!!

sorry, got carried away with it'ss there

Where have all the good men gone?!!

I was! Grrrr!!!!!

It wasn't supposed to be this way :(

I truly wish I had never met him

I cannot copy and paste but trying tbis Chaos

www.ebay.co.uk

Look for Living with a dominator by Pat Craven. There is also a home study book to accompany this.

Order it ifyou can or try Amazon :)

Little steps Chaos

Ok what I would say if I did text, cos can't ;

'Hello. I got your text and didn't feel compelled to reply. You've forgotten about my feelings and us , and the coldness is clear. I have been dumbfounded by your actions in what is already a difficult time. I am disappointed in the person you are today, and miss the person I chose to love and have a life with. I am humiliated, rejected and utterly despondent that you could make love to me in the morning. Because of all this I wod rather forget you. You aren't the person I thought you were '

Please don't send that.

He will either ignore it and you will feel crap or he will respond and you will feel crap.

And what I really feel ' I love you so much and miss you, us, cuddles, our home and the closeness we once had. Stop pushing me away because if external factors. Realise that I've stood by you and chosen to love you unconditionally. Lets forget this'

Ok above will never be sent, or happen, but a large part of me feels it. Are I pathetic and desperate?