What would you say is essential in a good relationship?

[pleasestopcarolling]

I' m not looking for perfect just basic essentiais without which you think a relationship wouldn't work.

respect

Sense of humour
art of compromise
being able to talk and listen
honesty
things in common

I agree , anything else?

open honest communication with no bullshitting or passive aggressive crap

communication, communication, communication

and physical attraction

Trust
Love
Tolerance

Sleep
Trust
Basic hygiene
Love

Would you include a reasonably regular sex life?

Respect, kindness and communication.

Compatability - so yes, sex comes under that.

communication, realism, respect, love, connection and feeling sexually satisfied.

yes a reasonably regular sex life that both parties are happy with (the regularity) is important for me.

and selfishness? (not sure that' s a proper word)

I me a by UN selfishness!

sorry stupid spell correct

The ability to admit you are wrong and apologise.

Sex is important yes. But similar sex drives is crucial. If neither want it or both love it then ok. If one does and the other doesnt then there could be problems.

Mutual respect.

I'd say

good communication
respect
honesty
similar values

physical attraction, of course

Communication
Trust
Patience
Respect for the person and his/her needs
Intimacy (just not sex)
Common values
Faithfulness

Can go on further but I guess these are the most important ones for me

Sex is important yes. But similar sex drives is crucial. If neither want it or both love it then ok. If one does and the other doesnt then there could be problems.

sex drive does change over the time but if there is an element of respect of the needs of each other, a difference in the sex drive can be overcome IMHO, I like to think so.

i agree summerdad and that is where communication will come in aswell.

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock sorry, I just meant to add to your comment and not to contradict it. Compatible sex drives with physical attraction is a fatal combination no doubt.

oh i didn't even realise you were commenting in reference to my comment!

mutual respect
openness
deep honesty and trust between you
humour
physical intimacy
time for each other
patience
wisdom to see beyond immediate problems
love and desire, good times and bad

I found these qualities in my second marriage; I speak from experience of both a very poor marriage, and now, a very happy marriage.

In no particular order:

Attraction
Trust
Communication
Respect
Humour