Crotch grabbing, jelly nailing, double-quick portions and man parts floating in a pear tree...dating thread 33 survived Christmas so bring on NYE!

[OhLittleTownofWesternWind]

Here we are!

Hi sorry to jump in like this but I need help. I'm just creating a profile on POF and my mind has gone blank and I don't know what to say. Especially for the headline part.

Hi 11111,

pick a name that's upbeat, not depressing, not too descriptive. Northernlass55 or Doesn'tLikeSprouts or something. It really doesn't make that much difference unless it's something which will put men off like 'LonelyGirl42'

and a headline - always start with a joke or a catchy line - at least that's what makes the profile stand out from all the others. Don't use the same cliches about how much you love traveling (everyone does), how much you like going out but equally happy staying home snuggling on the sofa with a glass of wine and a DVD (everyone does), how you're looking for someone to go on long country walks with (I hate country walks, personally, thats why god invented the car)

Talk about what you like doing. Nights talking rubbish with mates, a nice work out at the gym to work off the cobwebs, birdwatching (if you're into it) tv programmes you really like, books you love. But it only has to be 2 or 3 paragraphs. I generally judge a profile, and whether I want to get in touch, on the following points (assuming they're within the age and distance range)

Do I like the pictures, including the worst one
Did the profile make me smile, or ideally laugh out loud
Failing the second one, do they look interesting enough to hold a conversation with.

Thanks Banta it's all a bit scary!

Well I've just phoned him. And utterly none the wiser. Phone call was possibly even more awkward than the date. He didn't ask to see me again, but he did say if I had time to call him tomorrow.

Be careful picking a username. My OD name seems to say to alot of men that I am into women. Vivid imaginations.

Sort of thing I have said.

Non of us are perfect. I have admitted I can be a tad stubborn.

As a horse owner I am a country gal, with an accent to match. So have put in my profile 'Happiest in a pair of wellies' to try and probably fail to make it sound fun trudging around in mud.

Also made it clear I am not looking to organise some blokes sock drawer. I have a life.

Just make it about you

do you want to see him again velvet?

Banta ouch. Even though you knew it was coming, it must be a shock. Once it is done though, you will move forward in a different way and be a very free man .

Snape ok you know now, never again. He is not your problem, and he should be long gone by now says the woman who once went to work having ordered a taxi to collect cock lodger and take him to the international bus terminal where his ticket was waiting

Thanks 48, I'm still stuck so I'm going to have a glass or two of wine and go back to it.

name I was completely pissed when I did mine. Took about 10 minutes

Banta my initial feeling post date was yes, and that's still what I think. It didn't go amazingly well but there was nothing that put me off him, made me cringe, or anything like that. I didn't feel a spark but then with no flirty in a very hustle and bustle location means a spark was unlikely.

I'd like to see him again, for longer, in nicer surroundings. I think then I'd definitely know if there was any potential.

But if he isn't interested, and is just being polite, then I'd rather know now.

flirting not flirty, that should be!

Velvet well that's cool. Maybe he's a bit disappointed that the frisson you had before wasn't there either - but maybe if when you call him again you suggest next time you go for drinks or dinner somewhere with a bit more atmosphere it may be easier to relax?

That way he can decline the date, and you know. Or you've got a second date.

I've never looked on PoF ( because I'm a wuss ) but like 48, I wrote my profile in about 10 minutes, thought about looking at other women's profiles to research what I was supposed to write, then thought ' nah, can't be arsed ' so mine is reasonably short, devoid of clichés and has attracted a lot of favourable comments for its originality ( at least that's what they say ).

Also, having 'Princess Bigtits Gobblehobby' as my user name.

Is there any chance he's a bit shy/socially awkward, Velvet and didn't come across as well as he would do if he knew you a bit better ?

Thinking back on it, I had a coffee date with a therapist a month or so ago, and there wasn't a spark. We'd got on really well before, by text and mail, and she was really quite attractive.

If we'd had a second date with wine, we might still be together a month later. It was just the place was so non-conducive to romance or flirting, that it kind of killed things off. It was more of a business meeting.

So - I think i'll stick with the tried-and-tested bar/restaurant where possible. 3 first dates there, 3 kisses, all after wine, sometimes with a coffee first.

Banta I was hoping he might ask me, rather than me having to ask...

MsA I don't know if he's shy, maybe a bit reserved? He has had several quite unfortunate OD experiences (one sounds as though she was a bit like the Artist, and a couple of others who said he was being too full-on etc), so possibly that's made him a bit reticent? But then again he was fine by text!

I don't get it. I know I'm probably overthinking, but if he likes me enough to want to see me again, then why not just ask?

And if he doesn't like me (which is fine, I know I'm not everyones cup of tea) then why say to phone him? (again) - maybe it is just politeness?

Fargggggh! He's just ordered an Indian takeaway, despite the house being FULL of food, has ordered for DS2, who prefers Chinese & then 'borrowed' a fiver off of me to pay for it because he is now skint, despite managing to go to the pub this afternoon. I can count the takeaways I've had in the last year on one hand. I've gone to bed with a pain in the arse 'headache'.

See when your relationship ends & you feel like you could DIE because the man you thought you would grow old with leaves you for someone considerably younger, who has not had her body destroyed by childbirth...it's a bit of a retrospective relief when he turns out to be an absolute fucking twat.

Tomorrow cannot come soon enough!

velv you are lovely. You're really smart & very pretty & I think you want to be chased a bit. You strike me as very forthright & I think that women who are 'go-getting' can sometimes be a little submissive...not the right word, traditional when it comes to romance, to see themselves as coveted, to let the guy do the running. For all my wanging on about equality & feminism, I have to do all the work in all other aspects of my life, it would be nice to occasionally have a little romance. :)

I'd sleep on it & see how you feel tomorrow. Deploy distraction techniques just now. Give him a ring tomorrow if you feel like it, if not, don't.

Hmmm, Velvet, I ask because I'm probably slightly shy at first in person, much better by text and email, and I wondered if he might be the same so I tend to give other people the benefit of the doubt. Of course he might just not be right for you - and it's your opinion and what you want that really matters.

Just when I think Mr F U has finally got the message. Another text. I have had a text nearly every day. 4am christmas eve/day. I am not responding at all.

'can we chat? I know you have moved on. I would like to be friends x'

A little late for friendship I think. I am going to have to phone him tomorrow.

Also, having 'Princess Bigtits Gobblehobby' as my user name. Sorry but it made me laugh out loud!

Velvet maybe phone tomorrow to suggest a further date and see what his reaction is?

I am so glad he doesn't know where I live.

Smoothie, Milko told me there was a user named ' MissNeedsa_Fuck' on MA which we decided, although direct, probably lacks a little mystery. ( Princess Bigtits Gobblehobby's not my real user name, obviously, although I have been tempted as it would make me laugh. I think it might attract The Wrong Kind of Man though )

Snape you've hit the nail on the head (not the smart and pretty bit, thats far too flattering!) but the romance stuff. If arguing was an Olympic event I'd be a medal contender. All the men who work with me say they'd never want to be on the wrong end of a debate with me, but when it comes to matters of the heart I want, indeed expect, to be wooed

Maybe turning up with big heels and hair and false eyelashes was a bit much for him?! (he was in jeans and trainers). He did blink quite a lot on our date, which I think is meant to be a sign of attraction? (then again could just be a nervous twitch!). I'll phone him tomorrow and ask if he wants to see me again because he clearly isnt going to. At least then I'll know!

Ahem, may I ask for your collective wisdom? I have a quick OD question. I've only signed up to one site (singlewithkids) and have only got one person I'm vaguely interested in meeting. He's said he's shy and much prefers to open up in person. He wants to meet for coffee (well he says so anyway) so I gave him my number, but he took two days to text, and then only to say Merry Christmas. He's got his kids staying til the NY so should I just forget about it and assume he's busy with them? Or should I forget about it full stop because if he was into me he'd have set a date by now? We chatted about 6 days ago.

He's added me on FB and sent me a msg there to say he'll be in touch in the new year, but he's added about 5 new woman on there so I suspect I may be 'back burner' material.

Not sure if this is par for the course or whether I should toughen up already?

TIA for the advice!