Crotch grabbing, jelly nailing, double-quick portions and man parts floating in a pear tree...dating thread 33 survived Christmas so bring on NYE!

[OhLittleTownofWesternWind]

Here we are!

Well follow if you like where its going.

So he did turn up. He was nice enough. I'd see him again if he asks though no idea what he thinks.

He didn't ask to see me again but he did say I could phone him later (he can receive calls but not make them)

so do I phone him or not?!

Do you want to phone him? Maybe sleep on it.

VELVET - we've all been sat here with bated breath.

So - was nice enough good enough?

I don't think I can really tell - it was only one coffee and an hours conversation. I need either alcohol or a man to flirt more obviously. He didn't flirt at all, but not sure he's the type. Then again it could just be he's not interested.

If he'd like you to phone him, then I would say that he likes you.

But you don't need to phone him tonight - it's up to you what you feel comfortable with. I agree with maybe sleeping on it (but then I am terrible these days for not just going with the flow so could be wrong).

If you want to see him again, and only you can know that, then phone him. You can wait till tomorrow if you want but you don't have to.

Wallison speaking from experience, if you've been doing your pelvic floor exercises, it'll go fine, believe me.

His phone can't make calls, but he can receive them. Why? Pay as you go phone? That's alluring. (Not necessarily from a snobby POV, but because if a relationship developed, you would always be, 'haven't heard from him, must be zero-credit' rather than 'haven't heard fm him, isn't thinking about me, not interested'.)

I could tell in an hour of meeting someone if I wanted to see him again. That said,your 'default' seems to be 'men aren't interested in me' so it might be your head-tape.

In summary,if you like him, phone him. If you don't, don't. Then if he likes you,he'll find a way of letting you know. If not, not invested yet, no biggie.

In other news, ex is seriously doing my head in. Took Ds2 out this afternoon to get away from him, came back, cider cans from last night still scattered around the living room; he was watching his laptop, couldn't find headphones, asked if it was ok to turn up volume. Sure, whatever (was watching film) then changed to queens of the Stone Age concert. Grudgingly agreed to put on headphones when I mentioned it and then sang along how I managed seven years with this man, I do not know. He's splashing out on a take away for the DSs and him tonight, oh, benevolent one! drinks (...) smokes and got his dad to buy the kids gift cards for Xmas. They're all off to his sisters for new year tomorrow and I am buying a gallon of Pinot and catching up on taped films and having a doctor-who-a-thin. This has been hell.

You seemed to be really excited by him before you met - there's that common thing about meeting someone in person and it's just a bit 'meh' compared to your imagination. Some of that is that people aren't the same in person as they are online, and some may be due to nerves.

It's your call on whether the expectation you had for him may pan out in the future, on a second date - it could be nerves or something. Or maybe you didn't fancy him as much as you thought you would.

The not being able to make calls thing is a bit weird though. What's that about?

wallison you'll be fine, promise

velvet sleep on it? No rush and you'll have more perspective tomorrow.

Mr Vague is off climbing for 4 days. He did suggest wine this eve but I've suggested we chat next week.

Wallison. Seriously don't worry. It's not like someone said earlier about the bloke not noticing, it's about not caring! Grown ups have grown up bodies and if you find someone attractive enough to get in that position then it just doesn't matter! What is sexy though is confidence!

Velvet - sorry that you feel bit meh about yor date. That's a blow but par for the course. Think it's best to sleep on it!

Could anyone help me? I am Internet dating crazy at the mo and signed up to Match using the iPhone app. However, I'm such a technophobe that I don't actually know if my profile/photos are live. Could someone check for me? Also if anyone wants to pass comment or makes suggestions for improvement I'd be more than happy to receive them!! Name is Bornin79

Thanks ever so!!

Thank you Juliette and Bill I will be wearing a lovely new dress for the date and it's in one of my fave restaurants so all will be well, I'm sure.

[gnaws knuckles]

SevenSnapespeares have you spent Xmas with your ex? Kudos to you if so. Indeed, kudos to you even if it's only one day. I find it difficult to keep my canines from gnashing after even 10 minutes in my ex's company. You are obviously a much better person than me!

It's not a PAYG phone. It's a financial issue which will be resolved early next week but in the meantime he can't text or call me, so if I want to speak to him, I'll have to call him. It's unfortunate timing, because I'd far rather the ball was in his court not mine!

He is nice. I do like him. But it felt awkward, and I think he felt it was too. The place where we met was incredibly busy and not really conducive to relaxed conversation. I think this is why I hate daytime dates. The best daytime date I had was with the disappearing (probably married) policeman, but he was a huge flirt, which Spaceman isn't (or not with me anyway).

I still don't know whether to phone him. Because he wasn't like 'give me a call later', more like 'if you want to you can phone me later' I'm not even sure if I said I would or not. I do know though that putting things off isn't good for me, and if I don't call today, I'll feel twice as awkward tomorrow, and even less able to do it. So I think perhaps I need to bite the bullet.

The worst that will happen is he'll say 'I'm sorry but I didn't fancy you' and that's not the end of the world, at least I'll know.

Well I took my DC back to their mum today, and got handed the divorce papers in return. We'd agreed on grounds and stuff as it's fairly amicable, but...

It's been a f*cked up day.

Velvet The phone thing is weird. Even if he's having problems with his mobile & couldn't phone you en-route to date, surely he has a land line? Sorry but it just seems a bit . Also, in my experience, the ones I've been a bit meh about after meeting just weren't for me.

Wallison good luck & have fun - it's not really something you forget how to do! (And I like what Bill said about grown ups having grown up bodies so unless you're 50 and shagging a 21 year old you should be fine). Just have fun. x

Bant have you had much experience doing pelvic floor excersizes? (bugger, can never flipping spell that word!)

Snape just keep breathing and stay away from sharp objects, he will be gone soon!

Ugh Bant sympathy & hugs. I'll be getting my divorce papers soon. Nothing left to work out, just have to sign on the dotted line. Even when it's what you want its still kind of fucked up - one of those things you hope you'll never have to do in life.

Yoga actually yes I have. But more to the point, when I was 23 I was involved with a woman in her mid 30s who'd had a child, and she.. ahem. demonstrated the exercises. It was really very memorable.

And I've been with 20 something size zeros who were obviously nervous and shy about their bodies (seriously, not allowing the light on? What's that about?), and 30 something size 16s who were confident. And the confident ones were far more attractive and fun in the bedroom. We all get older and get less elastic, but confidence is the winner

Never a good time for divorce papers bant sorry you got these in return for DCs. I know it's difficult but it has to be done and try to look at it as the end of a year and a new start for 2013 going forwards.

velvet I'd sleep on it. :)

wallis yes, I am a saint. He broke up with the woman he left the woman he left me for earlier this year, if he wasn't here (& it wasn't my idea, was ex mum in laws) he'd be on his own 500 miles away & not fucking up my Xmas & that isn't really the spirit of Xmas.

He just asked Ds2 If he'd like a chicken curry. DS2 is vegetarian.

Ds1 asked me why XP shakes. He thought it was because of his 'medication' no, it's DTs because he can't drink as much as he wants when he's here. But he's still too scared to drink in front of his mum and dad but doesn't mind his kids seeing him in a fucking state.

also had the fucking temerity to complain that kids didn't interact with him much last time he was here when he spent mOst of it (1) pissed (2) smoking outside. he found it 'hurtful' [aghast] you're obstentiably the adult here.

RARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Luckily I have never married. My parents marriage/divorce kinda put me off.

Sorry for all going through that crap.

Divorce is the pits!

Oh my word, Seven, he sounds like a real charmer. How horrible that you're having to share your home with him even for a short time.

Sorry to hear about divorce papers Banta and Yoga - I think we're all allowed a little mope to ourselves on days like that.

Still trying to summon up the courage to phone...this stuff is all too hard!

Sorry Banta re divorce papers and Snape re PITA ex.

...and expensive pits to boot...cost me more than getting married...