Crotch grabbing, jelly nailing, double-quick portions and man parts floating in a pear tree...dating thread 33 survived Christmas so bring on NYE!

[OhLittleTownofWesternWind]

Here we are!

choco are you chocoraisin ??

I would just wait til new year and see myself .. Too much on just now

Hope you and your two boys are well xx

I agree its a funny time of year.

Bant have me some good advice earlier - od is a numbers game. So tonight I have been going crazy on match by messaging anyone that I thought I might get on with. It's provided me with a very entertaining evening.

I put everything into my first od date. Shouldn't have because when I met him I actually didn't fancy him. And I really tried to but I just didn't. My advice would be to get out there and message more men.

Having slept on it (or rather not slept, only managed 2 hours :() I feel more meh than I did last night about my date. I do know however that if at the end of it, or even when we were on the phone, he'd said he wanted to see me again, then I'd feel a lot better.

Probably hasn't helped that I sat up reading old emails from my Ex (not the evil one) and realised a) how much even 4 years on I still miss him and b) I see no prospect of ever feeling even a tenth of what I felt for him for anyone else.

Which is all a bit :(

Oh Spoon! God there's no way I could read old emails. I have some spectacular ones from my two most recent exes, he of the big bad break up, and BC. Even 20 months on from the big bad break up I can't look.

Last night was difficult, missing BC a lot anyway but I decided to start tackling some tax return stuff and going through piles of receipts found loads for various places we had been and little mementos I had kept. Each one gave me that horrible achey missing someone feeling. Urgh.

Trying to focus on my NYE date! There's nothing I can do about either of them so it's pointless to dwell and make myself feel worse.

Anyway, spoon you haven't called him yet post date have you? Forgive me if I missed it if you did... but if not I think you should call spaceman and then try and gauge it from there. I don't think he would have said to call him if he wasn't interested.

I'm sorry, Velvet, I completely understand where you're coming from, I have the Googletalk conversations between Maris and myself and reading them gives me both comfort and causes pain. Obviously I should stop reading but the comfort draws me in.

The only way that I can rationalise it by believing that it proves I'm a loveable person, who is capable of that kind of relationship and that somewhere out there is a man who will make me feel the same but without any of Maris' myriad problems. You are clearly an intelligent, glamorous, independent and thoughtful woman, there are men out there who will be equally despairing that they will ever find someone like you.

velvet. You have to delete those emails. Really, you need a good old fashioned purge. It does you no good to rake over the ashes.

Lubey I did call Spaceman, we only spoke very briefly, it felt really awkward, and he said if I wanted I could call today - no mention of seeing me again! All a bit confusing.

I know dwelling is a bit silly. Don't know what made me read them. I haven't looked for ages. I suspect lack of sleep was to blame.

I can't ever delete them Snape. Possibly probably I should. But if I do, it will be like it never happened and like I was never loved (because he is, sad as it might seem, the only man who has ever loved me). Crying now - how pathetic am I?

MsA I do tell myself that there must be men somewhere who are looking for someone like me, but unfortunately I never seem to meet any of them. At this rate I don't think I ever will.

Well I've completely shaved the beard off now. I look about 5 years younger and about 5 kilos heavier. Crap.

Now to find someone with a decent camera to take a decent picture of me.

Shirt on or off, people?

Got a bit behind with everyone's happenings - was out last night for a meal and drinks with LM and my oldest friend and her dh. Went really well and LM full of plans for stuff we're going to do. No Coffer just coffee as dcs here but there's always next time.

Choco wait til the new year, see what happens. But in the meantime, sign up to a couple more sites and don't have all your eggs in one basket as that can lead to a big let-down nine times out of ten.

Velvet you're sounding less than overwhelmed by Spaceman. How about calling him today, lining up a date in a more relaxed atmosphere and seeing what happens?

Velvet, Arse and Lubey all that stuff needs to be deleted without reading or throwing straight in the bin. Get rid of any reminders, ruthlessly. It will feel shit whilst you're doing it but so much better afterwards. It's just torture to read/see these things. Good time of year to clear out ready for a fresh start.

Bant shirt off holding a fish, of course.

Oh and I deleted the email trail between myself and an old girlfriend, who to be honest was the love of my life (if there is such a thing) a couple of years ago. It's still crap and I still want to look through them when I'm feeling maudlin, but the fact they're not there anymore means I don't get even more maudlin and want to call her when drunk.

But, we were different people back then - 15 years ago. They're not from me or to me anymore, it's not real. So I got rid of them.

Velvet - I agree with OWW - call him, arrange a date for one night next wee k in a place more conducive to atmosphere. If he arses you around, bin him. If he doesn't seem enthusiastic, then bin him. You can get second dates, you know that now. Feeling 'meh' doesn't necessarily mean it's the death knell. We all know the reality of the first date often doesn't live up to expectations.

Be prepared to bin, but you may as well call him and see if he wants to meet again - at a time and place of your choosing of course.

Velvet Agree. Purge. You need to move on. It is holding you back

How good do you look without a shirt Bant That is the question

Oh I agree about deleting them all being the logical course of action, of course it is. (They make me laugh a lot )

Velvet ( allow me a brief moment of northerness ) love, THEY are there, we WILL meet them, things WILL be better.

Banta, shirt off, arms in a comedy bodybuilder pose, pained expression - us laydeees love that, it's hot, tssssssssssssstttt

Western glad all with you and LM is going well and he passed the test of meeting your friends :)

I don't know if there's much point in calling Spaceman again. I don't think I can assume I can arrange another date with him since he's not indicated he wants to see me again. And if he did, then he'd probably have asked me already.

Velvet Count your blessings you haven't got to call a Fucked up man cunt developing slightly stalkerish tendancies.

Gonna do the 'it is not you its me'. It so fucking is you! Thanks smooth

Biscuit - so do I hold the fish between my teeth?

Velvet - if I was in a (hopefully) temporarily screwed up financial situation where I wasn't allowed to make calls from my phone, and had to admit that to someone I was just beginning to date, I'd be horribly embarrassed, and wouldn't want to put myself out there and get turned down. If he's asked you to call again, it could be either because he's too polite and doesn't want to just say 'goodbye then' or because he wants you to call again but is aware that he doesn't look that great a catch so is leaving the ball in your court.

Maybe.

However, you won't know unless you call. If you just CBA then don't bother. Text him though and say 'thanks but no thanks' nicely, due to lack of spark or whatever.

Fish protruding from trousers I think

Bant shirt on, the shirt off shot is such a cliche and unless you have a muscular physique and are lean enough to have visible abs it doesnt really work.

Thats how I see it anyway!

yoga A winning look.

OWW I did delete all the emails from mr big bad break up. But I kept one or two that were out of this world - he was and Oxford English grad and had a fantastic way with words. It would be a crime to delete those few of his best, love letters especially for me. From the heart and amazing writing, the emotion of it all aside.

BC is a different thing. I feel no need to purge him as we have not fallen out

First thing i do with a break up is go around the house chucking all reminders, but again, me and BC didn't fall out so I felt no need to do that, and I had to go through receipts etc for my tax return so not a lot I can do about that :o

I'm ok anyway it's just a lingering deep down ache. But I've been around the block enough times now to know that will lessen and lessen with time and many more men

wish pretty sure he was joking about the shirt off not the least because he knows he'd never fucking live it down from us lot

I don't really have the abs for it, but I can draw some on with a magic marker

Banta - fish balanced on your head at a jaunty angle, imagine you're a musclebound Alain Delon, who's just realised his hero is Robson Green - you will be fighting them off. Guaranteed.