Mixed messages.......going nuts

[A1980]

Supposed to be on "a break" with bf. I know I know it probably spells the end.

He has a lot of issue: unemployment, illness etc.

I expected no contact but so far I've had texts every week calling my by his special nicknames for me and most recently a card and present left at my office for Christmas with a note in the card saying lets trust 2013 is a great year.

had enough of mixed messages

wwyd?!

[A1980]

Thanks cabbage leaves . I am headstrong and single minded and I am not surprised you remember me. I wasn't always the most popular.
this has screwed me up. My friends are wondering what's happened to me. they've never seen me like this.

[CabbageLeaves]

I liked you :)

This 'you' is not you. Even I, a complete stranger off the net can see that. He's unhealthy for you. Take control and end it for your sake. Insist on no contact and end it. You will feel shit but recover.


Stay and ....you'll just feel shit

[A1980]

There is nothing to end is there?

Thanks: I must confess I don't remember you but I never really bothered to pay attention to who was posting, I just read the posts and put in my two cents.

in a way it isn't him who has done this. it is me who has done it to myself. I allowed myself to get so caught up in when he would.start acting like a normal boyfriend when I should have had it out with job and or walked away.

[A1980]

Had it out with him sorry. pesky smart phone.

[MardyArsedMidlander]

Honey, we have all been there. You need to keep thinking three little words: HOW DARE HE???
HOW DARE HE CRITICISE YOUR TASTE IN MUSIC?
HOW DARE HE SLAG OFF YOUR INTERESTS?
WHO THE FUCK DOES HE THINK HE IS????
(I find wine often helps with this )

[A1980]

Thank you.

I have been through that stage. he was wrong about my music taste anyway. he just surmised what I liked from what I had.mentioned without asking what I liked. truth be known I find iy hard to express what I like as its all over the place. There isn't much I won't listen to so I.can come across as wishy washy.

I am.going thru the stages. I've done denial, anger and now I'm mired in sadness.

[CabbageLeaves]

There is something to end. His contact. Your feelings. Sadly the 2nd one of those may take some work. His contact will make it harder so insist on no contact.

I name change a lot so don't really have a MN identity. I'm not taking it personally

And yes how very bloody dare he!!!!!!

[Dottiespots]

Hi....Im sorry if this has already been mentioned as I naughtily missed a page or two but you say he goes home to be with his parents alot and spend time with you and doesnt have long relationships (according to him) and he is on a break at the moment......my question is....could he be already married or in a relationship ????Just wondered really.

[CabbageLeaves]

Eclectic A1980. Eclectic! That's how I describe my varied and sometimes uncool dubious choices.

[A1980]

Awsangel.....definitely not.

I just know for.a.fact. not married.

[Dottiespots]

Just wondered. : ) well then as others have said your so better off without him. Something odd about a man who still lives at home at 35 and prefers spending time at home that with his gorgeous lady. I know its really hard to accept and understand and its perfectly normal to keep going over things that happened but you will get over him. You know you will. Just takes time.

[A1980]

Its a choice he made. I've realised he has emotional problems.
He never bothered with me so much ad he doesn't need the emotional support from a partner his folks provide it. old habits die hard.

all of his.exes broke his heart too...I bet I'm the next one to be slagged off.

[tallwivglasses]

Not your problem love. Life's too short.

[cuttingpicassostoenails]

A thirtyfive year old man still living with his parents is exactly where he wants to be. Leave him there.

[A1980]

He has his own flat just hasn't moved in. struggling with it I guess.

Having a bad day now. felt ok yesterday. can't get out of bed. want him back. when does felt end.

[CabbageLeaves]

It's the season A1980. Breaking up is hard especially when it's not clean and break ups at Christmas always make you think about what ifs.

Try and think of something to take your attention. When I split and was alone I tackled in a variety of ways depending on finances: walked the dog a lot! Tackled walks I'd not normally do casually, moors and mountains. I booked myself onto a cookery course (v extravagant but worth it). DIY- lots. Films, crisps and wine. Duvet days- rare but quite a novelty to me as I'm v busy normally. Duvet day was usually completed by 2pm before a long walk.....

I never started my day without a plan. Regardless of mood I went and did it. Some days were mopey and miserable but mostly I have good memories of those days

[A1980]

Help me resist the urge to contract him

[Snazzyfeelingfestive]

You can be strong over Christmas. Promise yourself you will not contact him till after Boxing Day. Do ten sit ups or similar every time you think of it instead of ringing or texting. Put your energy into something else, literally. Clean the house, put loud angry music on. It will get better.

[A1980]

I want to tell him what the Fuck I think of him .....little weasel

[CabbageLeaves]

Lack of contact I what you need. Contacting him is just you trying to provoke a reaction...the reaction you want to assure you of ????

Move on.

Clean house, 10 sit ups, walk one mile before making contact. You can make contact once after all of that....Or get your life back :)

[A1980]

Ok.

What do I do if he contact me again. just ignore?

[tallwivglasses]

YES! And Merry Christmas. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life

[A1980]

I probably won't ignore. I deserve everything I get.

[aPirateInaPearTree]

resist it. i had a text full of self misery on friday. i ignored it.

it's now monday. i feel ok. am bloody glad i ignored it. this is new territory, and although i have a heap of things i want to point out to him, it's me doing the pointing out-AGAIN. So I am NOT bothering.

[Snazzyfeelingfestive]

Ignore!