Bacon sarnies in suspenders, jacket strokers, coffee with a small 'c' and LOTS of Coffee with a capital 'C' it's dating thread 32

[lulubellaboozle]

Thought I take the liberty of starting us off again ...

yoga Have you seen the Frog to Prince vid. I felt sorry for the frog. Story of my life www.onemoregadget.com/frog-to-prince-toy-is-not-worth-kissing/

Ha ha 48 a bit of a sad specimen. Still, I'd take him over my XH any day!

Loo update. There's a spark but that may be partially caused by alcohol. Has funny teeth. Funny though. She's into me I think. Seems not too fazed by Budapest

Oh good...we all have our physical quirks Bant...

...think Kate Moss she's got funny teeth..

Agh, agh, someone slap some self-respect in to me. Must not contact guy who "postponed" a second date with no attempt to rearrange, just because I want Coffee. Must not.

evenin' folks:o
tonight I bring you...Pete!
give us the low down Pete...

'Im a big lad, in a few ways. I love a good drink up, Cockney cuisine. On the cobbles its zoomh, zoomh, zoomh and your out.

I'm not into shagging old slags in the back of Ford Mondeos in the woods, or going round to some slags council house for a "swinging party", or giving somebodys missus a portion while the old mans watching massaging his todge ready to try his first 'Bi' experience, the tart.

Wot I want is a bird who likes a portion double lively, in any situation. No pretending or fucking about with cerebral nonsense.'

form an orderly queue now ladies!!
:o

mercury words fail me, seriously it has to be a wind up?

Its ok mercury he is all yours

Aw mercury you always get the best ones. Do you think he'd mind giving me a double portion while my dog watched?

Will the dog eat the condom?

Probably!

he'd not want me 48 I'm an old slag and I've had two ford mondeo's, now I come to think of it I did once shag someone in the back of a ford mondeo...it was a long time ago

mercury one mondeo is forgivable but two is just careless.

'giving me a double portion while my dog watched'
there must be a name for the particular 'preference' Yoga:o

I once shagged someone in the back of a Volkswagen Touareg...it wasn't that long ago

yoga

just to be clear, I've had 2 ford mondeo's
but I was 'had' (he was had??) in a different mondeo (which wasnt mine, it was his)
so thats 3 mondeo's all told

(now I've just got a push bike)

Mercury, you gotta be thankful for the smallest of mercies.......at least he can spell 'cerebral'.

"no fucking about with cerebral nonsense"

Brilliant!!

Yoga I'm sorry to disappoint you but he is looking fora woman who 'likes a portion double quick'. A double portion is not on offer.

I shagged a bloke in his camper van in a retail park car park, and a policeman 3 times in the back of his van a couple of years ago.

I might just as well go dogging and have done with it:o

I know it's early days but do you think "Pete the Portion" can be in the next thread title? (Unless you want to go for it mercury, wouldn't want to jinx it for you)

here he is:

sexy.adultfishdating.co.uk/member/profile/index.cfm?profileid=15712483

^'giving me a double portion while my dog watched'
there must be a name for the particular 'preference' Yoga^

Isn't this called 'guard dogging' ?