Bacon sarnies in suspenders, jacket strokers, coffee with a small 'c' and LOTS of Coffee with a capital 'C' it's dating thread 32

[lulubellaboozle]

Thought I take the liberty of starting us off again ...

Lol terrified one poor guy by insisting on playing Nine Inch Nails loudly throughout the entire experience...he was begging for The Carpenters...think I was trying to get something out of my system...

...and tmi here I had the painters in as well ...so not wishing to unleash that kind of situation on the male species again I think it is best I stay sober for the first few dates..tee hee

Bill I'm not sure as it seems to happen by magic but if I think about it it seems to have involved a stillness just before when you hold eye contact, a softening when you get closer? Sometimes a man has got very close, held it and then left it to me to go the last few inches.

Bill I don't know really - lots of eye contact, standing or sitting quite close, body or face turned towards them, maybe a bit of contact with a hand or a foot...? Whereas even if I'm having a nice time but I'm not sure I fancy them I'd be more likely to sit back, keep a bit of distance, maybe keep my glass or my bag between us...? Never quite mastered the fluttering eyelashes thing! Mind you no idea if any of it does any good.

A bit tipsy is good. I rarely get more than a bit tipsy anyway - I can't bear hangovers!

Yeah you want to be able to remember finer details at least...hopefully ones that dont include crotch grabbing...

A little bit tipsy is nice. I hate being drunk and losing control and judgement (and the horrors the next day even if I've not done anything awful!). In a previous life, I did drink far, far too much so I cut out booze almost totally for five or six years and think I've now found a really good balance. Only taken me twenty-five years to sort it out . . .

A drink or two does help a date along, but if I was out with someone who got noticeably pissed instead of just a bit giggly and silly it would have been a real turn off, definitely no second date.

The kissing thing, it just happens, doesn't it? You both sort of know it's going to happen, then like Juliette said it goes quite still and a bit serious and you look at each other and you know whether it's going to happen by how you look. If you drop your eyes or turn away that says "no". I think Bill if you just went for a gentle kiss on the lips if you're unsure then it's easier to step back from if you do misread things. I bet you don't, though.

Crotch grabbing though? Jeez. No. Just no.

Yes Bill as long as you don't grab her crotch you'll be onto a winner

I always think that moment before you first kiss someone is amazing. If it's someone you really like it's as though time pauses for a few seconds just before it happens. One of the best feelings in the world, I expect there is some rush of endorphins type thing going on.

So because I would quite like another kiss before Xmas, I have text Cuthbert. And now we wait :)

utterly agree with spoon.. first date with the prof, we were walking arm in arm down south bank, we passed the fairground rides, stopped under the millennium wheel, all lit up - looked up and then a kiss. magic. :)

Velvet I really hope he gets in touch with you soon. I think if he has depression then the disappearing and lying low can be par for the course and not a reflection on how he sees you at all, rather something he feels he needs to do particularly if he's putting all his efforts into keeping other areas of his life (eg work) going. The question now might be whether you think it's worth hanging in there for a while, at least until you know each other well enough to have a good talk about it.

Snape that sounds like something out of a Richard Curtis film :)

Western, I do think (so far) he's worth it. But I'd be lying if I said I'm not bothered if I see him again before Xmas! It is making me more patient though which is no bad thing. And as we both have form for rushing headlong into stuff, maybe slowly is the best way?

It is a bit of a shame though - I was out with friends on sunday in Covent Garden, and remembered something he'd told me previously about the church there, so was telling all my friends. Would have liked to say to him, do you remember telling me xyz, well we were there today etc. But we don't talk on the phone or email, and texting is a bit sporadic. By the time I see him next I prob will have forgotten all about it.

you're determined that everything will end up all Richard Curtis for me. :) it was lovely, actually.

yes, it is a shame. i think it's perfectly reasonable to text someone if you see something and it make you think of them occasionally. it's nice to know you're being thought of, even if you are feeling very bleak and can't summon a response. just not 14 times on the trot without a response

I had a lovely first kiss in Waverly Station with the first man I met through OD. We'd had a few drinks and a bite to eat and laughed a lot then he walked me to the station holding hands. Just as I was about to say goodbye I dropped my hat, I picked it up and as I stood up he leaned down and kissed me. I closed my eyes and we stood there and kissed in the middle of the station. He was the first man other than XH I'd kissed in 18 years so the rush was amazing.

--and then it all went wrong when I grabbed his crotch-

Spoon - it sounds tough, especially if there's not a lot of contact between dates. That's the bit I think I'd find hard. But it sounds like you like him so I guess patience is good. x

I will bear that in mind. I don't want him to feel like I'm harassing him by text, or to put any pressure on him, but I suppose the odd one can't hurt.

I'd never send more than 2 without reply though!

oops, strikethrough fail

I met Sugar Daddy last night for dinner at a local pub. We are still getting on really well. Chatting a lot. He came back for a cup of tea (god I am getting old). No coffee with a 'c' or a 'C'. He is still playing a waiting game although the kisses were fairly passionate, it stopped there.

He is still saying that he doesn't want to rush things. He does seem a bit keen in some ways, a text at 7:30 this morning and he keeps telling me I am lovely, which I find it hard to accept.

I know that he has had a number of relationships (married twice, once for only a matter of months, plus living with someone else) and I do wonder if it is because he ploughs into relationships a bit headlong. He seems to be doing that now in all ways bar the Coffee. Too much analysis. Give up. Stop it. I am desperately trying to enjoy the attention. It's been so long since anyone has been this flattering.

yoga I did kiss a OD bloke months ago. First kiss since my ex. Over 25 years. The rush was incredible. I felt 15 all over again. Great snogger

Ha 48 this whole thing is like being a teenager again. (Except the sex is better than when I was a teenager . . .).

Hi I'm new here but since I just had my first date in nearly 30 years a very long time I need to talk to someone about it. we met online and then for the first time IRL on Saturday. Terrified walking towards cafe where we met at 2 but walked right up and kissed him on both cheeks. at about 5 we started walking slowly to the restaurant where i was meeting DD (she's at uni and by coincidence he lives in the same city), stopped at a pub where I suddenly felt a bit faint (nerves, adrenaline, not much to eat all day) and had to go outside. He was very kind about it and it gave him an excuse to touch my hand...once I recovered we walked on towards the restaurant, holding hands. DD (who knew only that I had a coffee date) walked up as we were enjoying a rather passionate kiss (which he later claimed I had initiated though I think it was mutual) and furiously told me to "get a room". After dinnner with DD I saw he'd texted me asking if I woud see him again that night. With one hand i was texting him that I couldn't, it would be dangerous and I'd look "easy", with the other I was packing up my case. We met at another pub and then took a taxi to his for a "cuppa" which turned into Coffee. yes, i know, against all the rules but he showed me his electricity bill.

Actually we didn't manage to drink the Coffee because he's on antidepressants, but grinding the beans, pouring the water on, etc was very very enjoyable and the mugs were nice and hot.

He took me to the airport bus exactly 24 hours since we'd met. Don't know what will happen now but no regrets....

celeste

Sounds lovely, although the mind boggles at 'grinding the beans'..

celeste sounds fantastic you sound very together about it too.

Coffee grinding is fun. Mr fuck used to grind beans for me. Lots of texting fun about his big hands grinding

Me and Mr R&R are getting it together tomorrow night. We can't wait until saturday

Gonna have to keep things light. Mr Oz is back in March.

Should I tell Mr R&R about Mr Oz Mr R&R is a nice guy.

Poppy how do you feel about him being rushing in? Sounds to me like you would be a bit happier taking things more slowly. It's very early days and might be worth asking him just to calm things down a little.

Celeste sounds good! Do you want to see him again?

48 I would possibly mention (when you get into the subject of past boyfriends) that you were seeing someone who went to Oz. I don't know if I'd say you're planning to start things up again, as things can change for so many reasons. You might like Mr R&R better than Mr Oz three or four months down the line. Who knows? But keeping things light at the start of a relationship can't hurt.