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Original poster

Men who don't watch porn

999 replies

FBworry · 10/12/2012 19:40

I do not believe all men watch porn.

However I wonder why they dont with it now being the "norm"?

Was there never any interest in the first place? Has it lost its shine? Is it a for feminist reasons?

Or is it more of a case of resisting temptation? As in they do want to watch but guilt and/or morals stop them? Fear of being caught?

We live in a time when we are constantly fed the message all men watch porn so nobody ever discusses those that don't watch it.

OP posts:
BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels · 13/12/2012 13:17

It could be argued that the likes of belle de jour did it mainly for kicks, wasn't exploited and was the one with all the power. But that doesn't fit in with your argument, does it?

And I'm on my phone so can't check, but I'm sure you said that all men enjoy it, if they say they don't they're lying." In fact you made a joke of it to shoes.

Andula · 13/12/2012 13:22

Offred - in this country, prostitution is illegal, porn isn't. Also, yes I agree that there are more men that watch porn than women and therefore most of it is aimed at men, but if more women were interested in it then the market would force a change. There is 'girl porn' (for want of a better term) out there, if you look for it.

And can I just reiterate that the OP wanted to start a debate about why men don't watch porn, with one of the questions being "is it a fear of being caught"? I happen to think that this is a big reason and it's a shame. Then again, I realise that I'm lucky to also enjoy it and therefore it's not a problem in my relationships.

Offred · 13/12/2012 13:23

No it isn't strictly illegal.

Offred · 13/12/2012 13:23

Soliciting is an offence, so is running a brothel.

Offred · 13/12/2012 13:24

I don't think porn and prostitution are intentionally legal though I think they are not illegal which is different.

BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels · 13/12/2012 13:25

By Andula
lol @ shoesme 'danger wank' I would say that most (as in the vast majority) men do watch it, in some respect, but in a lot of cases have partners that wouldn't understand so they have to lie about it

By Andula
ok, cards on the table, I reckon:- 1) a lot of women don't like porn because they don't find it arousing and don't want their partners looking at other women 2) most men watch porn and a lot of those men lie about it (see point 1) 3) watching porn can be part of a healthy relationship

By Andula
shoesme - is it a coincidence that all the women on here who are so vocal about being anti-porn have all got husbands/partners that don't watch it? Just saying

By Andula
just because your paranoid doesn't mean your husband's not watching porn

seeker · 13/12/2012 13:25

Andula, why aren't you answering my question?

Offred · 13/12/2012 13:25

I also know there is porn for women although I object to "girl porn" - why the infantilisation? You seem to think people who object don't know anything about porn...

Andula · 13/12/2012 13:26

Blame, I said I don't think there are MANY people who would do that, and I think that MOST men watch porn and SOME men lie about it, you really need to learn to read before you comment on people's opinions.

SchroSawMummyRidingSantaClaus · 13/12/2012 13:26

Prostitution itself isn't actually illegal in this country. Soliciting on the street is and even then it is only the buyers who are punished.

1 to 1 in a house isn't illegal.

DP knows I would just laugh if he was caught watching it, it's his choice.

Andula · 13/12/2012 13:29

Offred, yeah I hate myself for using that term tbh.
No I don't think the opposers know nothing, but it does seem like they tailor the facts to suit their argument (which seems, on the whole, to be purely attacking people who enjoy porn).

Anyway, I've got a job to do. I'll pop back later. TTFN :)

KnowNoLies · 13/12/2012 13:32

.

seeker · 13/12/2012 13:34

You do realise that refusing to answer a question makes it look verynmuch as if you can't, don't you? Which does weaken your position.

BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels · 13/12/2012 13:36

You said the vast majority and that's the second time you have tried to undermine my intelligence. Its not working out too well for you though, is it?

morecheesegromit · 13/12/2012 13:36

This reply has been deleted

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KnowNoLies · 13/12/2012 13:38

Sorry, had to do that to test the NC.

People who believe that women in porn (or at least most of them) are not exploited are naive and in denial.

I was an "escort", I did it because I was desperate for money but I convinced myself that I was empowered, that I enjoyed it. Trust me, I am now mentally scarred, you will convince yourself to believe anything when you earn £1000's a week.

I have been in videos as well, even if I claimed at the time that I was doing it for myself, that I liked it, I actually really didn't.

When I look back, I realise how brainwashed I was. I was 18 at the time and know many other people who have done it, including porn. They all seemed like they enjoyed it in the videos and they all seemed to be happy with it when speaking to them. It's only when you get to actually know these people and dig deeper, you will find most of them are on anti-depressants or in counselling, have problems physically afterwards. :(

It really haunts me now, I am just glad I got out of it and have been out of it for years.

mignonette · 13/12/2012 13:38

Andula

I wouldn't describe you as 'lucky to enjoy porn' (your words) anymore than a would call it lucky to not enjoy it.

Whatever watching/not watching it involves, luck does not come into it.

Andula · 13/12/2012 13:40

morecheesegromit, thank christ, my prayers have been answered at last :)

MamaMary · 13/12/2012 13:40

KnowNoLies, thanks for posting. It's a powerful post. You confirm a lot of things I instinctively felt about women involved in porn, but there are not many first-hand accounts out there.

I am glad you got out of it.

KnowNoLies · 13/12/2012 13:44

Thank you MamaMary.

I thought this thread needed a first hand account.

It's not easy to talk about it really, people need to know the truth though. Even the people who are percieved to be truely enjoying it, are actually just really good actors or are brainwashed in the moment.

I was very lucky, I didn't experience any violent abuse. I know many who have though.

Offred · 13/12/2012 13:45

Morecheese - I haven't said any of the things you list and for balance why not list the insults thrown from some on the otherside?

I haven't talked about my husband either.

BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels · 13/12/2012 13:47

Knownolies, thank you so much for posting. I'm so sorry and angry that you have been treated this way.

Oh look, one more. Calling women psycho. Lovely.

mignonette · 13/12/2012 13:49

I certainly would not 'freak' should a man or woman bring porn home. I dislike it, think there are huge moral issues involved and therefore take my stand with my beliefs and therefore my wallet. I am glad i have a husband who formed the same view independent of mine.

My DH takes issue with the 'pussywhipped into not using porn' argument that is continually trundled out whenever it is suggested that a healthy, adult male has actually chose of his own volition, to not have anything to do with perpetuating the pornography industry. To suggest that a man only abstains because of a freaking out woman is sexist in itself- so much for empowerment in choice with regards to the people employed within the industry when you cannot even credit non users with the freedom to choose whether or not they buy it.

I think the balance of the harm versus the no harm debate lies with the porn is damaging side of the fence because the very existence of this 'regulated, professional porn industry' plays a huge part in perpetuating the existence of a thriving porn trade based upon cruelty, danger, lack of choice and ugliness. They want the £££££ too.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 13/12/2012 13:49

@know, thanks for your input. I wish you well.

morecheesegromit · 13/12/2012 13:51

the generalisation was to highlight some of the ridiculousness on this thread. i couldnt read all of the posts so apologies if you werent one of the mud slingers. because someone has just come on with their own negative experience, mamamary has said her views have been confirmed. ONE person's experience has confirmed that alllllll women in porn are forced?!?!?! bloody hell. also knownolies, you were 18 and you werent forced, so you chose to go into it desperate for money... there are other ways to make money. and you carried on and on. i dont belive this is the case for everyone involved in the industry, sorry you had a bad time though.