Men who don't watch porn

[FBworry]

I do not believe all men watch porn.

However I wonder why they dont with it now being the "norm"?

Was there never any interest in the first place? Has it lost its shine? Is it a for feminist reasons?

Or is it more of a case of resisting temptation? As in they do want to watch but guilt and/or morals stop them? Fear of being caught?

We live in a time when we are constantly fed the message all men watch porn so nobody ever discusses those that don't watch it.

it's not just not the anti-porn women with husbands who don't use it - I have no issue with it, have watched it with previous boyfriends (although it does little for me). I actually didn't believe hubby I was like 'c'moooon, you don't expect me to believe that?' but he's stuck to his story, with absolutely nothing to gain from it. I'm not the only poster who's said the same either.

Ditto to him not having chance without me knowing - we live and work together and share computers so I've love to know how/when he was fitting it in lol

but you have said that if a woman asked you to stop using porn you would dump her. how is that healthy? you would rather have a relationship with your hand than with a real flesh and blood woman.

Hmm

My exs who were both heavy porn users were SHIT in bed. Im sure they thought they were right studs.

Me, neing naive and young thought this is the best I could hope for. Thankfully I have now been proven wrong.

Hth

So women who are anti-porn are married to men who are anti-porn?

I'm sure a lot of vegetarians are married to other vegetarians and labour voters to other labour voters.

That's not a coincidence, it's a choice to go through life with someone with whom you have views and values in common.

Regarding the porn industry, if a woman is happy to have a career in porn, get loads of money then i wish her all the best, who am I to say what she can or can't do?

Ha good point blame. Very good.

"shoesme - is it a coincidence that all the women on here who are so vocal about being anti-porn have all got husbands/partners that don't watch it? "

That will be because we married emotionally mature men who respect women and aren't liars, HTH.

Studiously avoiding the difficult questions, aren't we boys?

and what about prostitution, how do you feel about that? and would you have a relationship with someone who worked in the sex industry?

Andula- so how do you tell which porn involves trafficked/exploited/vulnerable women and which doesn't?"

SonofArabia

How did porn effect your relationship?

This is about porn but no I don? feel the same way about porn as I do prostitution, I certainly don?t think prostitution is a good thing.

I?ve had sexual relations with a lass who was a stripper, not sure if this is classed as the sex industry?

seeker, the fact that they refuse to answer questions shows them up as immature, naive fools. best not rock the boat, eh peeps. after all, if someone is being forced into having sex its not as sexy, is it?

Your DP still lies even when you say 'i dont mind if you watch porn' because he knows the truth, you say you dont mind but really you would go nuts! He knows you and doesnt want any upset. So he lies to keep the peace.

I know how to use you're and your, i hate when people get that wrong but I am not one of them, usually.

seeker, why do you keep asking that question? firstly, the stuff I'm talking about is free and secondly, the same was you can tell if your clothes/electronic items have been made by children.

shoes, its all part of the same industry. people (predominately women) being coerced, used and degraded using sex. and for the titilation of others. they are industries aimed mainly at men, using typical male fantasies. also, workers in pornography are being paid to have sex, how is that different to prostitution? does the presence of a camera legitimise it?

It affected it in that I got obsessed by porn and watched too much of it, which affected my sex drive. This coincided with me getting cable broadband in 1996. I became jaded, if that makes sense, and unable to perform. The article I posted a link to rings very true.

Once I twigged what was causing the problem, I stopped watching it altogether and my sex drive returned. I'd also done some reading about the industry and the exploitation angle, which helped me see it for what it was.

Blame, attack the post, not the poster.

I've name changed, I usually avoid talking about my sex life at MN.

I'm a woman.

My body does respond to porn, ie I become aroused if I watch it. But I no longer watch it, because intellectually I object to it. I don't consider it cheating if a partner chooses to watch it. Nor am I jealous of the porn 'stars'. I object to porn because I believe that it's degrading to women, that it's exploiting women (and not just the 'stars') and it's turning a lot of men into shite lovers.

I was enjoying better sex when I was much younger. Before porn was so easily available and before men were watching and 'learning' from it. I'm single and have had sex with a lot of men. (I have a high sex drive too). The first time I have sex with a new partner, I can tell the avid porn watchers when they start doing the porn moves. It's rather pathetic. Twenty years ago, men were curious about the body of the woman they were actually fucking and focused their attention on her and learning how to please her. They didn't have some porn script they tried to follow. Now, many men are watching porn and think it's educational.
It's not just me either. In a totally unscientific straw poll of three single friends, they all agreed that single men are worse lovers now and the way they now choose to fuck is often very unsatisfying to women. It's like we've taken a huge step back. We're having to re-educate men all over again. I remember doing that in the late 70's when most men were clueless about where to locate my clitoris.

And it's not just older women either. I volunteer as a moderator on a relationship message board for young women and they are noticing that even men in their late teens and early 20's are experiencing sexual dysfunction, invariably linked to their porn habits. Young women are also being subjected to a lot of pressure to participate in acts that they find distasteful from young men who've grown up in the 'porn is harmless' culture.

They are obviously buying into "women work in the sex industry to fund their PhDs" myth.
I'll keep asking thought.

• so how do you tell which porn involves trafficked/exploited/vulnerable women and which doesn't?"

Oh dear Yorkshire whats wrong? Did they all turn you down to be your date to school disco on Friday?

Is that whats got you so pink faced?

but for most I suspect it's not about morals, or you wouldn't watch X Faxtor, it's about taste.

YP that is possibly the most brainless answer I've ever heard. So let me get this straight: in your opinion, women who watch porn and openly tell their partners they can also watch it with or without them are still lied to by these men to save them being upset?

What an odd way if thinking you have.

yorkshire, no he doesnt. sorry. I know you want to believe that, but its true. not all men lie.

andula, you can research and avoid shops that use child labour etc, but I'm not sure why thats relevant. how do you know that the "free" stuff you use doesnt use women who have been trafficked, abused and/or exploited?

I would not 'go nuts' if my husband admitted to watching porn, I didnt in previous relationships so why would I now?