Men who don't watch porn

[FBworry]

I do not believe all men watch porn.

However I wonder why they dont with it now being the "norm"?

Was there never any interest in the first place? Has it lost its shine? Is it a for feminist reasons?

Or is it more of a case of resisting temptation? As in they do want to watch but guilt and/or morals stop them? Fear of being caught?

We live in a time when we are constantly fed the message all men watch porn so nobody ever discusses those that don't watch it.

where they 'think' that women are ill-treated

I'm not offended by porn.

But I am aware that much of it is made by exploited and/or trafficked women. And there is no way of knowing the difference. So anybody who cares about what hqppens to vulnerqble women, or working conditions generally, would not put any money onto the industry.

And that is before we consider the less practical impact that the increasing "pornification" of society is having on people, particularly young people.

What's the difference between "they see it as" and "they 'think' that"?

I doubt poor little puddin will be back now, tbh.

Andula, I saw that too and still cannot see how an industry that sells women like toys can not be exploitative.

Can I ask the posters that support porn, what are your views on prostitution?

I find your posts really offensive andula.

Again, with the accusation that our Dhs are lying.

Again, with the suggestion that it's a 'question of sex drives' - another slur.

What makes you think you know men so well and the rest of us don't?

You really think porn is that irresistible, do you? can I ask how old you are? You do know that 50 years ago, there were no videos of anything, let alone porn. You know that there are some parts of the world that don't have it. Can you believe it!

I don't think it's cheating and Im not bothered by porn made by women - but you telling me what I and my dh really think is infuriating.

Andula

I don't regard porn as cheating.

I have a high sex drive.

If someone wants to lie to me about this or anything else, that's the liar's problem. I take no responsibility for 'making' that person lie. You really must have a very jaded and dim view of men to think that the poor poppets have to lie to save them from women's anger.

It's almost as bad as your caricature of jealous, asexual and 'mad' women....

It does make you wonder why some posters are so invested in propogating these myths about men and women. Why do some people have such trouble getting their heads around the fact that a lot of men and women don't need porn to prop up their very rewarding sex lives?

MrsWolowitz: In that case I take it that you never eat in a restaurant, or buy cut flowers. That you make all your own clothes and either have a big enough garden to grow all your own veg or a high enough income to buy entirely organic food.
Because otherwise you are giving money to industries where a percentage of workers are exploited and abused. They might not have to suck cock in front of a camera (they may well have to suck cock but they don't officially get paid specifically for that) but they work for very little money, in dangerous conditions, often under a constant threat of violence.

Yes, the working conditions in the porn industry are a cause for concern, and there are people trying to improve workers' rights within the industry. But all this stuff about how all filmed performance of sex is inherently degrading is subjective opinion. GOod porn can be liberating because it breaks the links between sex and love. THe insistence on the importance of heteromonogamy is actually quite bad for women, because the real motivation of sanctifying heteromonogamy is to ensure women's social and domestic services for men.

Sgb - the others have already covered the crux of what I'd say. Your argument doesn't address any of the points. I don't think the relax of censorship of porn allowed women to see sex as fun/pleasurable because I don't think that is what porn shows about women experiencing sex and if it were true then there wouldn't be such a poverty of porn made for women.

None of those arguments are relevant to the topic, they don't explain how porn is good, not misogynistic or anything else they simply say some other things might have been worse although I'm not sure the reality is that different, how many women really are empowered to enjoy sex and demand that their enjoyment is part of a joint sexual experience with man? I'd say this is a massive problem and porn has a lot of responsibility because of all this "trying out of moves" and faking it that goes on...

I wouldn't class myself as having an anxiety about porn either. Nor would I call my objection "free floating". I have very specific and well thought out objections.

See, I do equate sex with love. And I'm happy with that.

Sgb, what are your opinions on prostitution?

No-one has said all filming of sex is inherently degrading and I challenge you to quote someone saying that sgb.

Your points about other types of exploitation are irrelevant. A person is entitled to object to sexual exploitation but not economic exploitation if they like. Why doesn't it work the other way? Not objecting to sexual exploitation means you must sanction it and all other sexual exploitation yes? Or no, because that'd be a ridiculous extrapolation...

Porn isn't marketed to show sex on women's terms and you know it. It is ridiculous to try to pretend that porn is pro-women's sexuality and liberation when in fact most the most popular porn depicts women being 'done to' on men's terms. If you've fallen for the propoganda that porn empowers women, that's your own choice but don't expect other people to believe it.

You liken porn to other things that consumers want to buy, but this thread is actually about something that posters (specifically men) don't want to buy, for a variety of reasons. There are no ethical dilemmas because the product is of absolutely no interest to them in the first place.

Porn doesn't break the links between sex and love in any other way than to categorise some women as objects for sex and other women as objects for love.

Nobody is obsessing about of "the importance of heteromonogamy" except you SGB, as always.

And people need food, they don't ever need porn so it is a different type of choice altogether nevermind it being a different type of exploitation.

I haven't read the whole thread but my DH doesn't watch porn, or read it, and he never has been a porn user. He is 40. I feel very sad when I read about how common it is, particularly among younger men. I have two dds and the thought that the boys they will date may well be porn users is very depressing.

That is such a stupid argument. You are not allowed to care about this exploitation- the one under discussion- because there are others. Start a thread about developing world children making clothes, or the exploitation of Rose growers and I'll happily join in. But this is about porn.

And the general porn that most people think of when they hear the word is not "good for women" by detaching sex from love- it is bad for women because it is targeted at men and encourages them to think of women as 3 willing holes.

I agree with seeker.

Here is a funny and astute article about porn from the Guardian, please read it

www.guardian.co.uk/science/the-lay-scientist/2012/apr/30/porn-panic-daily-mail?INTCMP=SRCH

Gutted, lots of posts deleted before I got to see them! :(

I think they said something about age though? 15 25 apparently? He's older than me and I think that if you need porn to get your rocks off at that age (or any age really), then there is something seriously wrong with your relationship, if you're not in a relationship then you're setting yourself up for a fall if you can't find someone into the same crap as you have been watching.

I really don't see the point in porn, all this talk of "fantasy", well why not play your fantasies out with your partner? Or if it really is a fantasy, would it not be better represented with your imagination? Instead of having to look at a bloody boring screen.

he's got a point, right?

Is it? An article by a porn user mocking people who object to pornography without actually addressing the reasons for the objection.

Doesn't seem particularly clever, funny or astute to me.