Men who don't watch porn

[FBworry]

I do not believe all men watch porn.

However I wonder why they dont with it now being the "norm"?

Was there never any interest in the first place? Has it lost its shine? Is it a for feminist reasons?

Or is it more of a case of resisting temptation? As in they do want to watch but guilt and/or morals stop them? Fear of being caught?

We live in a time when we are constantly fed the message all men watch porn so nobody ever discusses those that don't watch it.

Well, there is a point where the amount some people masturbate is no longer natural. Some men (and women) seem to forget that what they are doing might be hurting their partners feelings and lets face it, most people enter a relationship or a marriage knowing the other half views and boundaries.

If they aren't acceptable then that should come out at the start, not ages later. I can perfectly understand why a lot of people wouldn't be happy at their DP/DH/DW masturbating and/or watching porn.

Do you wear a special t shirt and cape for these " danger wanks" and have a team of men on watch with their binoculars and little walkie taklies shouting "fgs shes just pulled up. Shes walking up driveway with the netto carrier bags. OMG she putting the key in the door. Quick lad you got seconds to spare"!

Arf!

DH is free to use porn, he is an adult, it is legal. He cannot however use porn and be married to me. His call.

He has not ever given me any reason to doubt his word in the last 20 years so I don't think I will be starting now.
It is a fact that 95% of people who say all men use porn are lying to themselves.*

*see how easy that is to type? You just say it is a fact and give a number and tada! It is true!

We have this fantastic arrangement you see, where we are both adults and we choose to be together, accepting some things that we do not like about each other and having lines in the sand for others.

Thanks FB, I can only speak for myself when I say that porn use could easily have destroyed my marriage, and I don't see it as either healthy or just a bit of fun.

It feeds a culture of sexual consumerism, it damages relationships, it objectifies women's bodies (and men's, to a lesser extent), it perpetuates myths about physical beauty and sexual behaviour, it often exploits vulnerable people, and it can be addictive and destructive.

This is how I feel about it, though I accept others won't agree.

I think it's utter crap to say that men who say they don't use porn are by and large lying. It is up to those who say that to prove their claim. There must be some research into the subject. Stats please.

There can probably be few more personal subjects than "porn use" (by which I mean getting oneself off to xxx rate movies). Yes it is no doubt true that plenty of men, when challenged by their partners, protest innocence with wide eyes and fingers crossed in their pockets. However, it is certainly also true that plenty of men will not admit to disliking porn in front of their friends of work colleagues for fear of ridicule. It is also true that a good many men - even those who know each other well - will not discuss their views of porn for precisely the same reason. It is just too personal. Everyone has their secrets: sometimes it is best kept that way. It is more pleasant for everyone to discuss football instead. To be frank, I think most men would rather simply not express a view on the subject - except online under a pseudonym of course.

Furthermore, I bet you also that a considerable number of those who do tell lies are men who do disapprove of viewing porn (for whatever reason - moral/religious, partner's dislike) but who have very occasionally yielded to temptation. There is a huge difference between such people and those who stay up into the small hours, glued to a screen in a darkened room, motionless but for a flickering hand.

That said, those I know who do enjoy porn are a mix - some are successful in relationships, others less so. None of them are into hardcore porn to my knowledge.

I'm not sure men who watch porn commonly associate pornstars with other women either sgb thinking more about how men learn about women and sex from porn. I think porn encourages objectification because the women are very 1 dimensional there are pornstars and there are wives. Pornstars "love what men want" and wives don't which is why you "have to" lie to your wife about using porn, wives being actual people with actual needs of their own. I think it encourages men to objectify and categorise women by their purpose just like how shoes and yorkshire are showing on here.

Shoes - I don't believe porn is ever "good and healthy".

Dh doesn't. He can, its just he doesn't. But if dh told me he had, I wouldn't be bothered. Because it would be such a rare occassion, that it would just not be an issue.
I have no interest in it and it does nothing for me, so I don't either.

I know lots of people do. But is it really so hard to beleive that some of us don't? Hopefully not.

offred

I think you're discounting the fantasy element of porn. I expect that most men know perfectly well that pornographic movies hardly reflect reality any more than Mills and Boon books do: if they did, they'd not be as popular.

No doubt there are some men who can't tell the difference: but whether porn makes them like that is another question.

Anyfucker, of course i know that and it is very nice to do. People can watch porn and have a healthy sex life. As for the danger wank thing i'm just playing, kind of. Maybe it's a thing when you're young and your hormones are all over the place.

Offred, I don't think I've categorized women at all, if anything I've done that to us men by portraying us all of being a slaves to watching porn.

Not discounting anything which is why I said I think it encourages...

I think you have shoes when you say men have to lie to their intimate partners.

I think you're still dreaming yorkshire

That's all very well for you, but my yorkshire pudding fails to rise.

Ha ha, you wish.

DH doesn't watch porn - he is very squeamish and finds the sight of bodily fluids etc on screen repulsive.

He is good at real-life sex, though, which is far more important.

Is a danger wank what DangerMouse does to relax?

Yorkshire

I have terrible troubles getting my Yorkshire puddings to rise.

Do you ever have any troubles getting your little pudding to rise too?

Offred: Long before mass media, let alone long before internet porn, there was a whole culture of 'wives' being respectable and disliking sex, while 'whores' did it because they were nymphomaniacs. One of the benefits of the relaxation of censorship was it did allow people, particularly women, to see that sex, sexual arousal, sex for fun rather than procreation, was OK and that women can enjoy it as much as men.

People who blame porn for misogyny have simply got it the wrong way round. The bulk of the porn industry (still a stigmatized, minority trade which doesn't make nearly as much money as its opponents like to claim), where it is sexist, is reflecting a wider and older patriarchal mindset of women existing purely for men's benefit.

The mainstream media eg terrestrial television and newspapers, has always peddled sexism, tribalism and malice, it's just that, from time to time, they need to chuck up a scapegoat for the Ills Of Modern Life. ANd it's always a smaller industry, a minority interest (compared to the might of, say, News International.)
If it's not porn it's video games, specific genres of music, specific genres of film ie horror films. People with a lot of free-floating anxieties jump on the bandwagon, as do a lot of those who are basically completely unimaginative, the sort of people who haven't read any fiction since they were at school and only watch the sort of film or TV that's 'just like real life' or passes as such. These people have a very llimited understanding of human nature - which of course makes it very easy to whip them up in rage against some percieved 'danger'.

There you go again, this time pointing the finger and laughing at the stupid people who get whipped up into a froth by the media

Do you think the people on this thread are like that then? That they haven't read widely and can form opinions for themselves?

Misogyny has been around since long before porn and no-one suggests otherwise. Neither has anyone said that porn is the only industry that despises women. But you seem to be saying that just because it's part of a bigger picture of misogyny, people are stupid to object to it.

I can object to lots of things that demean women, thanks very much.