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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

i am desperate please help me

58 replies

sosotiredagain123 · 01/12/2012 00:04

I posted earlier about dh and he lost it about an hour ago kicked punched etc and then woke dc up and said mummy hit me i have told dc i did not and am leavibg tomorrow they do not know whether not to come i can't leave then

OP posts:

natureslaw · 01/12/2012 00:09

Didn't want to leave your post unanswered although I'm not the best at this.
Are you safe?
Can you contact the Police?
Is he still there?
How old are your DCs?

badinage · 01/12/2012 00:11

Haven't seen another thread but call the police and get him removed from the house. Don't go anywhere and phone Women's Aid in the morning to get their help with permanent removal. Do you need any hospital treatment? The police will help you with that too.

feelokaboutit · 01/12/2012 00:12

Hello sosotired, I read most of your earlier thread. What part of the country are you in? Do you know where you will go tomorrow (don't tell me if you think he will read this thread). You must take your children with you. Do you need help with somewhere to stay or some money? Hopefully people who know more will come along because it may be that by phoning the police you could get him out of your house tonight.

OhWesternWind · 01/12/2012 00:13

Call the police. Please just go and do it now. They'll believe you and help you. Be strong, you can do this. I know how hard it is, but you can do it.

Original poster

sosotiredagain123 · 01/12/2012 00:16

he will lie and twist everything i have a car and money will book into a hotel tomorrow for breathing space my shoulder and stomach are bright read and hurt can not drive now as have had a glass of wine to scared to ring the police

OP posts:

feelokaboutit · 01/12/2012 00:21

what is your h doing at the moment? can a friend come and pick you and your children up? or if not your children, just you and you could phone the police from your friend's house and show them the red marks on your body? my hands are shaking thinking that you are in danger and i definitely think that the sooner you and your children can be away from your h the better

natureslaw · 01/12/2012 00:22

Ring the Police, they will remove him.
Then ring Women's Aid, they will advise you how to keep him from the house, I had just read your original thread.
Don't leave, make him leave. I know it's difficult but it will be alright.

feelokaboutit · 01/12/2012 00:22

has he ever hurt your children?

stoopidCUPID · 01/12/2012 00:23

just do what you need to do to make u and littleuns safe

Original poster

sosotiredagain123 · 01/12/2012 00:24

not physically but waking them up tonight is making me so cross i had planned to stay till they were 18 but no way can i now

OP posts:

Original poster

sosotiredagain123 · 01/12/2012 00:25

we live in a lovely house they go to good schools and i am going to disrupt all that

OP posts:

feelokaboutit · 01/12/2012 00:28

yes but it sounds as if his violence could escalate if it hasn't already
you do not have to put up with the emotional and physical abuse which you suffer for the sake of a lovely house and a good school, your children want their mother to be safe and happy more than they want to live in a big house or go to a good school

natureslaw · 01/12/2012 00:30

You aren't disrupting anything, he is by being abusive towards you.

I maintain that you should call the Police now.
You and the DCs can stay in the house, I know from my own experience that this is frightening but it does begin to get better as soon as you make that call.

badinage · 01/12/2012 00:30

The police will have heard all the twists and lies a hundred times before. They will take one look at your injuries and arrest him. Just do it. You and your kids are not safe if you stay in the same house as him and none of you should be going anywhere. He should be going straight to a cell for the night.

feelokaboutit · 01/12/2012 00:31

you sound as if you are distracting yourself from the reality of being punched and kicked - do your parents know what your h is really like? could you and your children go and live with them?

AgnesBligg · 01/12/2012 00:31

Can you phone the police? I would do this now without delay. You may keep the house etc, but you need proper advice. The Police and Womens aid will help you.

You need to keep safe, and keep your DC safe.

Original poster

sosotiredagain123 · 01/12/2012 00:32

we are all snuggled up in the spare room with a chest of draws in front of the door i just want this night mare to end

OP posts:

Trazzletoes · 01/12/2012 00:33

YOU are not disrupting anything. It was HIS choice to do so when he raised his hand.

Please call the Police. And Women's Aid. They are there to help you

badinage · 01/12/2012 00:33

Phone the police.

AgnesBligg · 01/12/2012 00:33

you poor love. Phone police!

feelokaboutit · 01/12/2012 00:34

sosotired, do you have any friends/relatives you could call to arrive at the same time as the police so as to have moral support. Not that the police won't support you, but you might feel safer doing it if you think you have people there who are "on your side".

natureslaw · 01/12/2012 00:35

Being in the spare room with a chest of drawers against the door is not safe.
At best it is a hostage situation.
Call the Police.

HappySunflower · 01/12/2012 00:35

You need to call the Police and you need to do it now.
It's important that you get this logged.
It is good that you can afford hotels but it's unfair that he treats you like this and gets to stay in the family home whilst the rest of you are uprooted.

Make that call, you won't regret making it, but I'd lay money that you would regret NOT making it, at some point.

If not for yourself, do it for your children.

Original poster

sosotiredagain123 · 01/12/2012 00:37

i will tomorrow from a safe distance i can not do it tonight he will shout lie and wake dc up again

OP posts:

JuliaFlyte · 01/12/2012 00:37

Please call the police. It will be hard but in the future you will be very glad you did.

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