Bf has lied about his age

[ElvisIsKing]

Odd one this and don't know what to make of it. Well I guess I do, it's not great, but would appreciate some opinions

Been seeing a guy for about three months. Everything is fine really lovely in fact. He's very respectful of me and my children we see each other when we can, he's very thoughtful everything is lovely.

So today he's on the phone sorting out his mobile phone contract and gives the telephonist his date of birth. I'm on the train home doing the sums and thinking if the date of birth he's given is correct then he's actually one year younger than he said he was

I messaged him to ask how old he was he maintains the he's xx (the age he originally told me) and finally admits he's yy (the year younger age). I question him he says he tells everybody he's yy

I just can't get my head around it. Why lie? Why lie again when I question him (this is the biggest problem for me)

I'm really not bothered about the age, why would I be, it's one year! But it's really bothering me that he continued to lie when questioned...

We've arranged to meet on Monday and I really want to gather my thoughts before then. What do I make of this? My instinct is that this is awful he really shouldn't be lying so early on in the relationship
:(

That made me chuckle hairy but I'm not suspicious about his age just annoyed that he continued to lie.

Ok I'm having a think about the history here. Hen he it at text me i remeber saying that I was happy he text me but that I maybe older than he thought I was (we met in a nightclub and had both been drinking and I'm always told I look younger than I am). THAT may have put him on the Backfoot, maybe he wanted to appear older than he was? (Why add only one year though I do not know).

Then after I saw his passport a few weeks ago he said he was 30 again. I didn't question it because I'm really not bothered about the age! Then we had the telephone conversation tonight where I asked him again, he said 30 then said 29. THAT is what is bothering me. He should have told me when I saw his passport a few weeks ago. I mean did he think I wouldn't be able to do the sums?!

Yes LRD it is just this, everything else has been fine. No reason to question anything else he has said. Like I said I've met his friends workplace house etc. just banging my head on the desk why lie!

Why do you think he would apply for a passport using somebody else's details amber? Because he may have criminal convictions?

He hasn't lied about anything else as far as I know

When I said I was 'concerned that he had lied on his papers'

i meant concerned the reason he was lying was because he had lied on his papers.

IYSWIM.

Well it's less weird with 29 and 30 than with (say) 33 and 34. I quite often describe mself as a 40 yr old when I am actually 39. Just shorthandish.

Police registration requirement very common on immigration especially work related visashere

My XH lied to me about his age for years, after I made some daft comment about toy boys. He lied for 3 years, right up until we got married. It was the first of many, many lies.

It's definitely weird.

If nothing else hairy you have continued to make me laugh so thank you for that yes I am 35 and hve snared a 29 year old!

No he hasn't lied on his papers-only to me-his papers say he is 29 he says he is 30. That's fine (like I say he is 30 in four weeks!) it's just the continuing to lie when confronted that's bugging me. Admittedly it must be embarrassing admitting to a stupid lie but still

sorry - computer froze for ages then posted when I bashed it :-/

Not necessarily because he has convictions, though it is possible?

Or maybe he's already been here on his own name and been sent home?

Could everyone in this country know him as the person you know? but thats not his name and his details.

If he has become the 'new persona' on the new passport when he has come here, you wouldn't find anything out from people he knows here.

How many people have you met from his home country?

If i was going to move to america (for example) under a forged passport because I had criminal convictions and wouldn't be allowed to live there. I would start my new life with the details of the person on the passport. Not my own.
Criminal convictions would be my guess. That is why it would bother me.

Ok, so how long has he been telling you that he is 30?

Anyway meant to say thanks for all your papers. Just trying to make sense of it. I'm not sure i hve I think the only thing we agree is its very very weird

And potentially more serious-like your scenario sunny. Which is what I'm worried about. I need to make it clear lies, white lies, big lies, embellishments, anything but the truth is not on. And will do so

Just be on your toes. I'm not over keen on liars tbh.

Where's he from OP? My grandad was Russian and I mixed a lot as a child with the Russian community in London (60s/70s). You rarely got a staight answer out of them (no offence meant). It was a cultural thing I think. I adored my grandad and he was the most wonderful man I ever met and fundamentally very honest and moral but there were little corners that were never 100% straightforward and sometimes they were very silly corners. Have found this a bit as an HR professional too with staff from Eastern Europe - really not trying to generalise and there is a huge difference imo depending where from Eastern Europe they come. If your bf is Russian/Ukrainian I think his behaviour is possibly more "normal" than if he were Polish/Slovakian.

Yes I see Brady and amber. I haven't met anybody from his home country but he has mentioned us visiting there next year

He has told he he was 30 since I met him rhubarb, about three months ago. He originally offered the (30) age then I asked him a few weeks so (he said 30 still) then tonight when he (initially) said 30 them said 29

Turkey but not sure that makes a difference tbh

Sorry my posts are terrible typos everywhere

Right.

So the innocent explanation is that he thought it would appear better to you to say that he was 30 and in his mind that didn't matter because it soon would be. It's not as big a lie as telling you he was 33 say, so he justified it that way, that he soon would be 30 and you'd never find out that he tweaked the truth a bit when you first met.

I would say that was more plausible.

The other explanation is that he is a spy sent here to ensnare you. You may soon wake up covered in gold paint. That would not be good. Does he have the faintest inkling of a Russian accent? Why leave his passport on display eh? Eh? Because it's a forgery and his real name is Ivor van Dracula, licensed to kill.

Ha! Turkey! So he IS a Russian spy and is covering his tracks and accent by pretending to be Turkish. Very clever. Does he wear a big watch? What's his car like?

OHHH I am going with *rhubarb8 apart from the gold thing. everyone knows she did wake up.

Does he have a scar?

An ooops on my bold fail.

Yes I do think that is the scenario rhubarb, I mean he really was nearly 30 when we met! And like I've said everything else has been fine and he willingly showed me his passport

Although now you mention the Dracula thing he says he hates garlic

Thank goodness I started this thread at least I am ending my night laughing thank you

Yes he has a scar

So either he has just rounded his age up, which people do.
The only dangly thread is why did he continue to lie.

Or he has a reason to lie (apart from not wanting to look like an idiot who didn't know his own age).

You know him. I love James Bond (yes I know its crap) and could turn him into an excellent supervillian. I don't know him. Only you can decide.

Does he have a long haired white cat?