The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Spicing Up The Winter Nights With Rich Hot Chocolate And Thermal Tights!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

I'm one of the Brave Babes travelling on this fantabulous Bus, on it's journey to the wonderful world of sobriety.

The great thing is, that the people on here are a real mixed bunch. Some are drinking regularly, some aren't. Some are sober and have been for any number of days, some weeks, months and yep, some even for years.

There's no judging pants allowed, no savoury flans either , just lots of unconditional support from many varied sources. Yes, some of us have been here from the start but please don't let that stop you posting, this thread is for EVERYONE and it always has been

If you'd like to have a look back, here are some links. One to the previous thread and one to the very first, and the reason we are all still here.

See you soon,

Mouse xx

PREVIOUS THREAD

FIRST EVER THREAD

purple you are not alone honey, and you are brave and fabulous and can beat this x

One of the things I notice about us on here is the honesty - about how we're feeling, and about our relationship with drink. At one time I bet all of us were excusing our drinking (and our behaviour), saying things like, "well I don't really drink that much more than other people", or "well I never touch whisky", or "well I don't get up in the morning and have a drink", or "well I deserve to relax", or "well we've all got to let our hair down occasionally". Well I KNOW that they were all just ways of not facing up to my own reality. I did drink loads more than other people. I didn't drink whisky - but I did always make sure there was an alternative so I didn't have to, I didn't get up in the morning and have a drink, often because I was feeling rubbish, but gradually I was starting to drink earlier in the day, my own little 'lunch parties' or a quick G&T before lunch (so that would be about 11am) , and I let my hair down so often, and so badly that it would have been trailing on the floor!!

So whether you're feeling good and proud and the end of another sober day, or sitting reflectively in the sidecar feeling pleased that you've not had TOO much tonight, or even if you're feeling like you've slipped right back, be glad that you're here reading this thread, and all the wonderful posts. We're all here because we KNOW that our own relationship with alcohol is not right. And acknowledging that is just the best (however crap it might feel) - it's the only place to start this wonderful, renewing journey.

hey guys remember the talent show my daughter was in a few weeks ago? we got the video back, and watching it I was less watching DD, and more worrying in case they had caught me on camera doing something drunk and stupid.

purple sounds like this illness is really getting you down. don't try to do too much, you need time to recover

Joey I noticed the top of the list for the two lovely sober babes who've posted their best bits about drinking, is not being worried about having done/said something stupid drunk. I wonder how much of our time do we spend worrying about that? Yet still we go out and do it again knowing there is a very real risk we'll do something stupid drunk - it's madness

venus you are absolutely right it's great to be honest about what is going on with drink, in a way I never have with anyone, even DH doesn't know I struggle, am attempting to cut down etc or I'm talking to you lovely babes every day. Does that mean we are having an emotional affair

So here are my 10 best things about a sober festive season.....

1. Money - it's such an expensive time of year, and then I always spent £100s on extra booze. Oh the horror of thinking I might run out when the shops were shut for 24 hours, or that visitors might come and drink too much of my stockpile.
2. Not having to think of new hiding places / devious tactics for topping up my glass. Normally I would be on my own in the kitchen, but then at Christmas time everyone else would be coming to 'help', so I'd have to become more, and more secretive and sneaky. And I'd get really ratty with people if they insisted on helping and thereby keeping me away from my beloved hidden booze stash.
3. Being happy to attend social events. In previous years the worst events were the ones which had a 'free' glass of gut-rot wine. One glass was never enough. I'd often drink before I went, and then use any tricks I knew to get an extra glass during the event. And yes, I have been that person drinking the remains out of other people's glasses.
4. Knowing that when I drive home I am sober and safe, and knowing that the next morning there is also no risk of being over the limit.
5. Being able to drive my lovely dds to parties / friends houses rather than sending them out in the cold, dark and rain to get a bus.
6. Really, really enjoying the lovely Christmas food, rather than filling up on booze and being too 'tired' to eat properly (except salty, sugary snacks).
7. Being able to face friends and colleagues the morning after, or the week after the office party. Too often I have been 'that' person - the one who falls over while dancing, or flirts inappropriately (or worse).
8. Wrapping Christmas presents. Used to be my most hated task, a drunk woman with awkward parcels, bastard sellotape roll, blunt scissors, and a glass of red wine slopped around did not make for neatly wrapped gifts. This year gifts are neat and sitting under the tree already (rather than something hasty at midnight on 24th.
9. Actually, genuinely relaxing. I'm sitting here on a Friday evening in companionable silence with my dp, listening to music. We had miince-pies and a cup of tea with dd1 and dd2 earlier. Yes there are things to be done in preparation for Christmas, guests coming, elderly parents to be sorted, but at the moment, now, I'm actually feeling relaxed and clear-headed, rather than frazzled and hot and woozy.
10. And best of all, I feel touched and honoured and proud to be just one of hundreds of us who make this community of babes something to be proud of. Merry Christmas xxx

green I have never told my dp the full awful extent of my drinking. He would be horrified if he knew I was drinking during the day, he would have been bewildered and hurt if he knew how secretive I was, and he would have been sick and appalled if he thought I'd ever driven while drunk. Of course he knew I 'liked a drink' and drank too much, and sometimes made a fool of myself, but he also thought I was a bit of a lightweight sometimes because I got suddenly quite drunk on 3 glasses (and the other bottle). When I decided to do something about my drinking, I didn't come clean to him because I didn't really think that I could do this, and I didn't want to have spoiled my chances for returning to drinking.

I night have to take my kindle with me and log in to the Bus in Christmas day! all these stories are making me feel stronger...

Bloody hell, Venus! The most enormous hugs to you - ever! Your honesty is astounding! I know where you are right now. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Evening Brave Babes Back from London and it all went so well. There was a nice restaurant lunch with DD1 and I told her I'd stopped drinking - thats a first as I've never revealed it to her before. Dinner and drinks at the pub - lovely just the three of us all on softies. A lovely day shopping with DD2 - she said it was the 'best day ever'. So much energy - we walked for miles and I felt fresh as a daisy. It's 2 in the morning and just going to bed - I've done a whole week! Might see if theres a meeting tomorrow to kick start week 2.

The posts since I've been away have been amazing - sending love to you all.

You babes are awesome. All of you. Koala you have gone from 3 bottles a day to a whole week booze free.I am beyond impressed with you! You totally rock.

I appreciate that there are a lot of positive posts right now but you need to keep posting about YOUR feelings no matter what okay? You NEED to keep it real. You have to see it, feel it, and smell the fear of fucking up. It's the one thing that will keep you safe, seeing the fuck ups... learning to avoid them, head them off Fantastic Mouse, bloody fantastic.

You're a different person Koala, can you believe it's you who wrote that lovely post? But of course it's you, it's who you really are without the booze.
Sort of in sidecar today, had a titchy glass of wine last night but put the lid back on. And it wasn't because I was consciously stopping myself, it's because I really didn't want any more. Have a good day babes, have wrapped all presents like you Venus and am feeling virtuous!

Don't know what to post. Hoping tomorrow will be better. xxxx

Soba and Ma thanks for your lovely support. Hello Mouse we've not met yet but when I can find a seat near you we'll talk I hope -loving the way you capture just what we are all thinking. Agree with Sobas* repost - I'm feeling the fear every day and finding ways to head off those tricky situations before they arise and my inner voice tells me -just the one, it'll be ok.

I'm finding just as many ways to deal with these situations as I did in finding time to buy drink and hide the booze.

Off to the 12 OClock AA meeting DD2 still in bed - bless.

I WILL NOT BE DRINKING TODAY

Bye Brave Babes

Have come all over all Christmassy and tearful...just been to visit a family we support (refugees, terrible story. poverty etc) and now they are safely settled in a little house for the first time, with Christmas lights and a tree and enough beds for them all....I only dropped in some Cava and biscuits etc but was drowned in hugs, kisses, gratitude and blessings. how lovely.
then the post man brought a card from my dear friend who has had breast cancer TWICE. who i do the Race for Life for every year. More tissues!
THEN I opened a note and a picture done from a very very special litte mouse-boy who has had a shit of a year amd now I am a complete snivelling wreck.
NEMO your picture is beautiful - what a clever boy you are. You have given me a great big happy smile today and I have put your picture on the fridge to show everyone.
mouse.....just ...well....just....

....I'll just get my coat then.....

Purple what's up?

Ma (((hugs))) that's what Christmas is all about.

Purple darling, what's happened? Your post is so full of compassion Ma, how lovely that you got a picture from Nemo. Koala you're giving me support too, by sharing with us. How old are your DDs? Sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with them.

purple you're not alone. I know you've had a rough time, and been so poorly

oh purple how rude of me not to respond. i was just a bit overwhelmed...what's happened? Are you ok?

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Purple - you said that you 'don't know what to post'.... is that because we're all chatting amongst ourselves? Posting about ourselves or to/about one another?

What's up sweets?

Why not just get it all out here, right now whilst some of us are here to listen.

Why don;t you know what to post? Post about how YOU feel. Post about YOUR morning, YOUR night, YOUR weekend.

Post about what's upsetting you, even if it's that you feel a bit out of the loop here, be honest!

Talk to us xxxx

Ma - he stuck all of the stickers on himself and chose where they went..... glad you got it

How utterly lovely of you to do that for a family in need when you barely have enough to get yourselves sorted some months! You are so lovely. xx

That's what I love about Bravebabes - there's always someone to listen and provide support. How lovely to get a card from Nemo Ma, have you ever met the gorgeous boy? Mouse you're the most compassionate, caring person, always there for everybody :)

I'm drinking and not beating myself up. Into second bottle, was supposed to ferry DD from a party this evening but have had the werewithawal to arrange lifts. Have driven drunk many times before :( I still can't accept I'm powerless over alcohol (step 1 in AA) so I'm constantly relapsing thinking I'm in control. I wonder if AA is the only answer.

Hi Sobasoma
AA was and is certainly the answer for me. It's hard knowing a little about it- knowing that accepting that you are powerless over alcohol, is key, without having the support of the meetings. At the moment you know where the solution is, but can't step over the threshold.
It's really not scary. Nothing I can write can make you go- in fact even if someone offered you a million pounds to go or put a gun to your head then attending AA wouldn't solve your problems.
It's much easier than that. All you need is enough self love. You are at that point where stopping or continuing are equally petrifying prospects, so go to AA, relax and listen.