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The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Blowing Away The Cobwebs, Brushing Up The Leaves, Whilst Travelling On The Battle Bus, To Our Own Sobrieties.

(1000 Posts)
Mouseface Mon 29-Oct-12 10:25:46

Hello I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, aka Gerald. It's a lovely place for drinkers, non-drinkers, wobblers and thinkers...... we're a really mixed bunch who all have one thing in common, alcohol.

Whether that be past or present, it can always be our future due to the nature of the beast.

Everyone can join this thread, the support is unconditional. And it is here for anyone who wants it, now or in a little while, there's always a spare seat or three!

Why not take a look at the journeys so far at the link below, it'll take you back through the last two (plus) years, and also I've posted a link to the very first thread....... the reason that we are all on the Bus in the first place smile

PREVIOUS THREAD

FIRST EVER THREAD

kotinka Mon 29-Oct-12 19:03:46

boo!

ilovemyelectricblanket Mon 29-Oct-12 21:38:06

Oh blimey. Posted on the wrong bloody thread again!
Er.... Again.

Ah - Ahem. Hi all. Its me. Blanket.
Im just stopping in to doff my cap to Jesus, Mouse, Venus, Isindie, SAF and I cant believe my eyes to see MIFLAW here! We called and called for you! And you came. smile
You are all so brilliant to keep on keeping on.
Is SarahRT here?
Im drinking. But Im ok. Im just ok. Good ok. But ok is ok for now - right? If that makes sense.
Hi to all. Im just bagging a seat in the side car for toinght - if thats ok with you all?
Hugs.
x

greeneyed Tue 30-Oct-12 13:00:22

Just reserving my seat

aliasjoey Tue 30-Oct-12 14:50:35

green oi! you're sitting in my seat! grin

SarahRT Tue 30-Oct-12 15:07:46

Skidding through Gerald on my way somewhere, ds convinced me to get an android and I have no idea what I am doing with the swype key thing, so reverted to old methods, until he can show the old bag his dm what's up with it.

Blankie!! I wondered about you, glad you are ok, think there is a surge at the moment of black dog days though or should that be black cat with Halloween?

Recovery or stopping drinking for a while doesn't really make you a new person, just gives you the old one back that seemed have got addled ages ago. Coping with the inner child is a bit testing at times too, and yes, I have often wanted to just bugger off with someone who would scoop me up and look after me. But when I think about it, it would be great for a couple of weeks, then I would really hate it. Too headstrong and long in the tooth and I would get bored. My low boredom threshold I think got me into the booze fest in the first place, or at least was part of it. My excuses were endless really. Any road up, I have to whizz, Silver you super star!! xx

greeneyed Tue 30-Oct-12 15:42:53

Sorry Joey, I;ll budge up - Sarah yes all so true and BOREDOM major issue I feel like shouting BORED BORED BORED BORED from the rooftops at the moment - yes my inner child, my three year old is always bored too smile I have ADHD which just adds into the mix - very high prevalence of alcohol and substance abuse in ADHD adults - We're impulsive, stimulant seeking, looking for a dopamine hit - big problems with self regulation - anyway we all have our excuses reasons - better to think about the reasons for NOT doing it and focus on those I think .

venusandmars Tue 30-Oct-12 17:11:43

So green what else gives you that high? I went to a drumming workshop a couple of years ago. Bloody hell that was great - big noise, lots of concentration, physical activity, and some kind of deep pleasure. There must be other things like that that give a big endorphin / dopamine hit?

venusandmars Tue 30-Oct-12 17:21:08

Yeah! I filled the old thread smile

greeneyed Tue 30-Oct-12 17:24:32

Thanks Venus - surfing the internet is another good dopamine inducer - another of my bad and unproductive habits blush I have just been diagnosed and am working with a psyche to find a way forward - when I can afford it I'll get an ADHD coach to help me channel the good stuff (yes there is some, intuition, enthusiasm, creativity, empathy) and manage the bad stuff - I'm already putting some strategies in place at work but it is slow progress and I've not responded well to the meds they have given me, though I have started them again for some reason hmm Great idea thank you I'll research dopamine inducing activities and try and pick out the healthy ones!! x

evening all.

hotch up in the sidecar ma

hope everyone is ok. i've been drinking beer for a couple of days. not vast amounts but enough to be 5 steps back from the world and myself itms.

PurpleWolfe Tue 30-Oct-12 18:11:05

Reserving my place. Can I sit up front please? I get bus-sick!

Silver66 Tue 30-Oct-12 19:46:08

tinka that's my bloody trick - how dares ya grin

venus my lovely woman - sorry to hear the pressure is on, you will cope, and you will get through it - but who is supporting you smile

green - I can only tell you of my experience with the winebitch , of feeling so wretched all the fekin time and the contrasting way I feel now. i am no further on than anyone else, but my journey has been a veeeeeery long one, and I am still at the beginning of the next stage of it grin

thurso - you too, have been a true Babe for me.

Here's a head fuck for you all - search your own nickname on here and it will bring up everything you have posted in the past............

<thinks, they probably know that already, once again I am left trailing behind>

<lobs a lump of chedder at mouse - then ducks to avoid returning missile>

ma loves ya

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Silver66 Tue 30-Oct-12 19:59:13

SAF walk away from the beer - you know it's that slippery slope and you also know why you are doing it to yourself.

Every day you slip further, will be double the work to get back to where you were.

And you know it, but that few beers will addle your head again.

I've been there so many times and the result is always the same.

But whatever you do - look after you and the hound and the boy x

greeneyed Tue 30-Oct-12 20:24:38

Silva - Balls in a playful mood I just posted something controversial in AIBU - Scared now people could use all my previously outed mentalness against me! smile
Must name change if I post in there again!!

kotinka Tue 30-Oct-12 20:34:22

I've had a bad week too SAF. I've been drinking every 2 days or so. Last was on Sunday night.

It's making me feel shit, all the cravings, depression, hopelessness, all back like a slap in the gob with a wet fish.

Day 2 here & I can see how one bottle became several & how I've ended up feeling almost as bad as when I started.

And whereas I was almost ok with the concept of being a non drinker, I'm back feeling as though I don't want to give up.

So a massive backward step, a little over-confidence, thinking I was doing ok, being in control. Now I can see I'm not. But I'm not drinking today & I will try not to for the rest of the week too.

Wondered if you can relate to some of that?

PurpleWolfe Tue 30-Oct-12 20:40:32

(Naughty Green verrrry naughty! Poor (old) Carol!)

venusandmars Tue 30-Oct-12 20:46:42

saf what has brought that on? You know your posts always sound so much better when you're not drinking, I think that you're one of the [people in whom it seems most obvious that being healthily sober is so, so much better for you.

new job worries? post about them
Money worries? post about them
Or call your AA pals
Please xx

PurpleWolfe Tue 30-Oct-12 20:57:34

Kotinka I can relate to all that you've written. I, too, have given up, got over-confident (smug, almost), thought I'd cracked it and not wanted to admit that, for me, limiting my alcohol intake is not an option. I always used to think that I could go back to moderate drinking. I can't. Every time I tried and failed, I slipped a bit further into hopelessness than the previous time. Self-loathing, depression and emotional pain caused my 'well, who the f**k cares anyway', 'what's the point', 'I'll give up tomorrow, what's one more day going to matter' and 'so what' thoughts. I was up to at least 2 bottles of wine a day and I really cannot go back there for so many reasons. I ended up scaring myself so much that, for the first time ever, I'm trying to stay off the wine for me - not for my children or my driving licence or for what other people think of my - but for me, because I deserve it.

You've done really well not drinking today. Build on that, you've done today, that's great. Don't give up giving up.

I'm not sure how I've got to day 12 but I can tell you that I will not and cannot relax my guard against alcohol. I'm not going to let the 'Smug Fairy' do for me again.

Good luck and sending emotional strength through the lines for you. x

kotinka Tue 30-Oct-12 21:05:07

Thanks purple (smile) I can feel it tingling through the keyboard ;-) Well done on 12 days, I did that once and I remember it felt pretty good, you start to see things like your skin improving, waking up feeling human, not licking your lips every time someone picks up a glass on tv.

I need to remember all that stuff. I'm back to spotty face & bum, lank hair & messed up sleep again.

PurpleWolfe Tue 30-Oct-12 21:19:49

Can you get yourself to the Doc's Kotinka?

Because I thought I'd done some damage to my heart (beating really fast, all the time!) I plucked up courage to make an appointment with the Doc for that day. She was great. I came away with Campral (works on the brain, reducing the cravings), sleeping tablets (short term for the crappy bit when you come off the booze) and another appointment for 2 weeks time (hand holding as well as blood results). Also blood test, an ECG and a referral to the Alcohol Services. I found it really difficult to go to the Doc's but felt soooo relieved once I had (blubbed for the full 20 mins!). I was treated with practicality and sympathy. For so long I avoided it because I didn't want it on my medical records but, in the end, worse could have happened and I may not have been at the Doc's voluntarily. sad

Know what you mean about skin looking bad etc. I'm looking much less tired now. My energy levels haven't returned totally but they have improved.

Good luck. Keep posting on here - it's really helped me. smile

aliasjoey Tue 30-Oct-12 21:21:07

venus thanks for filling up the last thread and making sure no-one got left behind. how are you doing now?

green i was so bored last week (my sister really watches some crap tv) i got a kindle fire - this explains why my spelling and punctuation have ggone to pot lately. its cool and i have downloaded some relaxation pocasts from the mental health foundation to listen. to.

well sainsburys was a close thing, weird it was such a strong craving earlier, and now its gone...

GoldenAutumn Tue 30-Oct-12 21:30:43

<<bags seat>>

aliasjoey Tue 30-Oct-12 22:02:27

hi mia, how ya doin?

GoldenAutumn Tue 30-Oct-12 22:11:50

Pretty shite, Joey, tbh. Thanks for asking. Glad you had a good holiday and sorry you're feeling a bit blue now you're back to the grind.

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