The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Spicing Up The Winter Nights With Rich Hot Chocolate And Thermal Tights!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

I'm one of the Brave Babes travelling on this fantabulous Bus, on it's journey to the wonderful world of sobriety.

The great thing is, that the people on here are a real mixed bunch. Some are drinking regularly, some aren't. Some are sober and have been for any number of days, some weeks, months and yep, some even for years.

There's no judging pants allowed, no savoury flans either , just lots of unconditional support from many varied sources. Yes, some of us have been here from the start but please don't let that stop you posting, this thread is for EVERYONE and it always has been

If you'd like to have a look back, here are some links. One to the previous thread and one to the very first, and the reason we are all still here.

See you soon,

Mouse xx

PREVIOUS THREAD

FIRST EVER THREAD

mouse LOVE the namechange, very clever of you!

PS. potty man wasn't mine, he was greyhounds I'd just like to make that absolutely clear

Hi

Thanks for the warm welcome back
It's not quite three years sober - but my third Christmas. Two years past the 24 November!!
THe best bits of being sober --mmmm ----let me think
1/Never waking up thinking what have I said/done/who did I phone.
2/Never spending money online whilst pissed
3/Not being filled with the self loathing associated with my hangovers
4/Always being available to the children. And not feeling annoyed about having to collect them from places in the evening
5/Being able to successfully stop smoking, because I am never under the influence and suseptable to caving to the craving
6/Saving a shed load of money
7/Shedding a whole load of weight - almost 3 stone, and it has stayed off
8/taking up exercise - replacing one addiction with another - but hey, at least this one is good for me
9/Liking myself.

10/Other people finding me reliable

There are 10.
And I know that there are more.
I was there - I really felt stopping drinking was an insurmountable problem that I could never ever tackle.
And if I can - I PROMISE - you can too.

Merry Christmas, love and blessing to every single one of you
xxxx

Thank you Bafana, really, really struggling here just now and your inspirational post has given me new hope.

PW
xxxxxxxxxxx

Hey Purple,
Why don't you chat for the next little while, and see if you can get over the Friday evening hurdle
Are you all set for next week?
I have ditched writing Christmas cards, so that makes live so much easier!!

Thank you so much Banfana.

It's such a weird day here. My two DS have been ill (as have I), and I've been looking after them. Tomorrow should be our annual panto visit but not sure whether DS 1 is well enough so it's all up in the air until a sit rep in the morning.

I did really well for about 7 weeks but in the past (almost) 2 weeks I have slipped back to my previous indulgent crap. So, so not happy. Need new coping strategies but not sure where to find them.

On the 'up' side, have fledgling 'relationship' with a nice chap. Good grief, I know how to mess myself up!

Sorry, you've caught me at a low point. xxxxx

And, surprisingly and for the first time in over a century, yes, ready for Christmas!? x

Doh! Meant decade!!!! I'm old but not THAT old! xx

Haha
Sometimes it feels like a century though!
I am glad to get the end of the week, it's been a long one, the kids are now off school though, and DS wants to watch the last part of the LOTR trilogy .

Probably best not to drink tonight. Nothing worse than sick children and feeling worse for wear!
It'll not be the end of the world if you dont get to the panto.

Maybe a family movie on the sofa, and a bucket of popcorn?

My coping strategy was the bath
I spent ALOT of time in it for the first 4 months of sobriety. And then the little voice in my head could not get me into the car and to the shop before I could stop myself. Because naked and wet is not condusive to jumping into a car

I also bought myself little treats. A new pair of jeans for the first business trip I did sober.
A yankee candle for the first 2 weeks etc.
Chose something I wouldn't normally spend money on, and then kept that in my head.

You can do this, 7 weeks is frigging awesome, and all it was was 48 days of making a decision in the morning and sticking to it. SO - this 24 can be done.
Hey - you can always choose to have a drink tomorrow - but I bet you can find something a whole lot better to do instead xxx

Well, not sure if it's good news or bad news but.... this weekend the DC are with ExP. Just waved them off. DS 2 has drawn some really good pictures for me today. Bless his socks.

How stupid is it when you know that NOT drinking is better is so many hundreds of ways and, still, it calls and you feel pulled....?

Panto tomorrow is still tba - depending on everyone's 'wellness'. I have to, ashamedly, admit that last year the panto party was moved to before the panto and I really didn't remember much about the performance. What an indictment. Really don't like that person, at all. :(

My seven weeks were great but I'm so peed off that I couldn't/haven't managed to keep it up. xxxx

Yep. my wine used to talk to me frm the fridge
And I used to listen.
However - you can't change that you haven't kept it up. But - You can change your weekend, right now, by making the decision, that just tonight - you are not going to listen to the lure of the bottle.
You will wake up clear headed, and so pleased with yourself.
Friday night was always a killer - esp when the kids went to their dads.
I deserved it - [hmmm]
No - What I deserved was a break from myself and my addiction to a bloody glass of wine,

How about a walk, or a book, or a cuppa.
Go and brush your teeth. Psycholigically it helps loads of people on this thread.

Do it - just for tonight - do it for you
Wake up tomorrow knowing that you are worth more
xxxx

Bafana thank you for that list, lots to think about there. 1,3 and 6 mean a lot to me. Even though I'm far from kicking the habit, it's been a long time since I woke up feeling shite every day.

purple 7 weeks ! Brilliant! Cut yourself some slack- rest,read, eat pudding all evening. It sound to me like you want a treat and a break more than you want a drink.

I'm looking rather sophisticated at the moment, wrapped up in a tank top (sorry, gillet) and my slanket. Ds is out with dh and my mind has just about stopped reeling after a day with him. I'm staying under my slanket (forever) and I'm going to watch the christmas grime/ hoarding program. Living the highlife,me.

Hi all. Just checking in.had a glass last night, and a half glass the night before so not too bad.am really winding down with this booze bastard. Roll on January, I WILL DO THIS.

I'm rooting for you Ma, I don't post much but I will be your biggest pom-pom waving cheerleader I promise.....

Thank you Bafana, too late for me for today but am hoping to find some extra resolve for tomorrow.

Thank you, too Gugg, if anyone else had done 7 weeks I'd be cock-a-hoop for them. I need more balance. I need to be able to see things clearer. Oh, please, 2013, can I have some peace?!

Mouse So, so sorry about your necklace. What a bastard thing to happen, you poor thing. Can't give any helpful advice so just sending an enourmouse hug.

Feel let down by the Alcohol Services and in a very childish "Well, who the fuck cares anyway" sort of mood. I know, I know.......I know.

(TF remains in contact!)

Sorry, a bit late (and apols too if this cross post) but may help anyone who's trying to resist... The best bits about being sober are:-

1. going out for a night out and not worrying the next day about my behaviour
2. losing weight
3. having more money
4. having more energy
5. being able to meditate every night
6. BEING there for my children
7. having more patience
8. being more focussed at work
9. having greater clarity of thought, generally
10. facing up to and taking responsiblity for how I'm feeling
11. the HUGE reduction in self-loathing
12. (according to DH) being much easier to live with
13. being able to drive all the time
14. knitting without dropping stitches
15. the wonderful clear, deep, sleep and waking up always with a clear head

The big one for me is 10, actually. My dear dear MIL died earlier this month and I just can't imagine being able to help care for her and FIL and DH while drinking. And now that she's died, I quite like (in an odd sort of way) really being able to feel how sad I am, and face up to it.

So if you're still wanting a drink, try this first:- cloudy apple juice (not the from concentrate type), ginger beer (about half and half) and fresh lime juice to taste. Lots of ice.

Warm thoughts to you all.

ma lovely to hear you sounding so positive about everything!

starting to get anxious about Christmas - I want to be able to drink a little but not overdo it. I guess the only way is to delay the first drink until the evening, but that feels so wrong! Will I be jealous of everyone else?

and its four days! oh this is going to be hard...

Thanks horses I am going to need all the support I can get. I love how you pop on here from time to time to cheer is all on.

Horse - HELLO!!!

Wind - great post xx

Purple - 'TF' remains in contact'? Are we talking about an ex here? Twat Face to be exact?

I'm sorry you feel let down, you are not alone in this you know that don't you?

I appreciate that there are a lot of positive posts right now but you need to keep posting about YOUR feelings no matter what okay? You NEED to keep it real. You have to see it, feel it, and smell the fear of fucking up. It's the one thing that will keep you safe, seeing the fuck ups... learning to avoid them, head them off.

It's the only way that you'll stop doing it. I'll help you, tell me what you need from me and it's yours.

So will the rest of this Bus I'm sure?

So will your GP. Get there/back there and SHOUT until you get your case heard. I wish that we could all get the help we need when we need it.

I have to go now, Nemo duty, although DH is home, but he's in no condition to get involved......hungoveratastic.

Oh but he will be once he's sobered after his jolly night away last night

To be fair, he is awesome, my rock, he is my Seahorse. That was our wedding theme, (the Seahorse) as they mate for life, but as puke fodder worthy as that may seem, after all of the shit I put my life through, all the abuse, drinking, drugs, more abuse etc..... he gets me. He supports me no matter what.

He knows that I am almost at breaking point and buys me flowers each week, tonight, he came home with the most gorgeous roses. Just because. The lady in M&S asked "What have you done?"

I said he should have told her "loved me wife for doing a solo shift with our disabled son, whilst being disabled herself and having fuck all sleep nor hot food for dinner"

He holds me when I am almost crying with pain. He asks me how he can help and my reply is always the same.... just be you.

Yeah, we can have our shit times but recently, he gets me more. Less alcohol = less aggression, less short tempers, less snapping....

It (alcohol) affects so much in your lives. It's just not worth it really. But you have to get there for yourself.... and in time I'm sure we/you all will!

Purple - you know where I am, I mean that, even though Nemo's not great, don't not get in touch just because I might be busy!!

Night Brave Babes - do what you can to lessen the blow for tomorrow morning. Water, lots. Paracetamol, 2 only. Food, stodgy.

Saf - if you are reading................ I hope you're okay and that DS is too. I hope you are busy with your new job and that life with you is good, kind and fair just now. We miss you!

Please, if you get a moment, post and let us know how work is going and how you are? xx

Mouse xxxx

Joey - stop worrying, we'll all get through it with you xxx

Ma - you are amazing. That is all. xx

Really going to bed. xx

Good evening babes - some wonderful posts on here today - well done babes - keep on keeping on! Thank you sober babes for popping in and for your lists which are so motivational. they show us not what we are "giving up" by not drinking but the huge amount we gain - now just need to get it to sink into my addled brain!!

Joey, Ma, purple I'm with you in and out the side car but we are all making progress Joey you have done abstinence and now controlled drinking, Ma you have cut downs loads and sound in a really positive frame of mind and purple 7 weeks abstinence, lots of weight lost and a new man in tow. - We are all getting there in steps and 2013 will be there to cheer each other further on. Waves to all the other lovely babes I haven't mentioned.

I have had one drink the previous two nights and nothing tonight which is quite something for me on a Friday, I am managing a few nights a week AF usually and the bus is to thank for that. Thank you babes, thank you xx

Mouse the necklace thing must have been awful, so glad you got it fixed xx

Waves back at Mouse!

I mean it Ma, really I do.

I lurk and read but I'm always here, lurking and reading and waving pom poms in a supporting-stylie.....

Mouse cross post - your post about you DH has made me cry - he is a lucky man

Mouse You are such an amazing force! I have tears in my eyes. Not doing well but, for the first time ever, feeling the support from others, like I'm not on my own. And yes, thank you Lovely, I know where you are - just have to get over the habit of a lifetime and ask for/seek help when I need it. Christ, this is hard.

PS TF = Tasty Farmer - a bright spot on the horizon atm!

Cue more tears. - Thanks Green xxxxxxx