The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Spicing Up The Winter Nights With Rich Hot Chocolate And Thermal Tights!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

I'm one of the Brave Babes travelling on this fantabulous Bus, on it's journey to the wonderful world of sobriety.

The great thing is, that the people on here are a real mixed bunch. Some are drinking regularly, some aren't. Some are sober and have been for any number of days, some weeks, months and yep, some even for years.

There's no judging pants allowed, no savoury flans either , just lots of unconditional support from many varied sources. Yes, some of us have been here from the start but please don't let that stop you posting, this thread is for EVERYONE and it always has been

If you'd like to have a look back, here are some links. One to the previous thread and one to the very first, and the reason we are all still here.

See you soon,

Mouse xx

PREVIOUS THREAD

FIRST EVER THREAD

That 'something missing' feeling??? Well turn it around a little and look at it from another angle and I think it's exactly that feeling that keeps us growing and developing and growing as humans. Whether it's collectively or individually I thin it's that 'something else' feeling that keeps us striving for better things. Better for ourselves, better for our fellow humans.

When I was drinking heavily, I used drink to fill the 'something missing' hole. And every night it fitted perfectly. And every morning it left the same gaping hole. Without drinking, I notice the 'something missing' space and I wonder what I might really, really need. And I seek out drumming classes, or meditation, or deep friendship with new people, or self-development (I never seek out running and jumping and all that activity stuff, but I know others who do ).

So I don't think that the 'something missing' feeling is bad, I think that without alcohol it has driven me on towards happier, more meaningful places with real contentment that doesn't disappear by the next day.

Is that too woo for everyone??

And purple I think that sometimes I get a 'sub-clinical' virus, where because I'm basically healthy and well I don't succumb to a full blown cold / flu / lurgy. Yet I have several days when I feel crap, sneeze occasionally, feel lethargic. I used to just carry on and then eventually the symptoms would express themselves, and I'd think 'Ah, that why I was feeling so awful'. Now if I feel like that I try to stop, be kind to my head and my body, and wait till it passes. Then suddenly one day I wake up and I feel better, and then I know that I was a little ill.

Patience, patience, you will feel better. And it will be worth it.

On the DON'T DRINK INFRONT OF YOUR KIDS question..... well I'm unsure.

My parents drank socially and I remember at age 4 drinking martini and lemonade (just a tiny amount of martini in a tiny glass) until i discovered that lemonade on its own tasted just fine. Then age 10-ish friends of my parents accidentally gave me ginger wine (believing it to be non-alcoholic) which I loved, and had a big second glass. Early teens I was allowed to join in with having a glass of wine at dinner parties. It was all done with the best of intentions - to introduce us to alcohol in proper social settings. But now I would call giving 'poison' to a 4 year old, child abuse . And I know that the ginger wine gave me the most delicious feeling. And that my teen experiences of drinking with dinner set a pattern for me about the partnership of food and wine.

Yet my sister and I had exactly the same experiences growing up - including the young martinis and the ginger wine experience. I am an alcoholic and she is one of those 'normal' drinkers who can open a bottle have half a glass and leave the bottle in the fridge for days and days.

I see the same with my own dc. They were unfortunately brought up in the home of an alcoholic mother (me ), for whom drinking with meals was an everyday occurrence, and for whom any situation - good or bad - was an excuse to drink more. One dc drinks very little, the other I can see having similar tendencies as I did.

I suppose, knowing now who I am, and understanding how difficult it has been for me, I'd have not make drinking so socially acceptable at home, so that dc 2 did not feel so comfortable around it all. And so that I could challenge / support better, without having my previous behaviour thrown back in my face.

purple I hope you manage to get an early night, it sounds like you need a good rest

Venus you're right about seeking new experiences, but no idea how to do it. have very few friends, am not a very sociable person. have managed to join a book club, but we meet once a month and that's it.

I was thinking about volunteering but was struggling with tiredness and fatigue... maybe I should reconsider. oh, have just remembered my DD s choir wanted volunteers, I could do that. oh not sure, social anxiety and bad experiences of helping out at school and bitchy super-mums...

Hi all, may I join please?

I just started a thread Here

It's about DP having had emotional affairs on line whilst I'm in bed intoxicated. I'm basically asking in that thread did my drinking drive wedge between us?

I have been under a lot of stress for years and drink to get to sleep. I now know this has to stop. DP thinks it's killing me and killing our relationship.

I will not drink today I will go to AA too.

welcome mummy1 you have made a brave first step by posting here!

You may not be a sociable person Joey but it's easy to tell you're a very warm person. Great posts from Venus and Purple and I agree about new experiences and am badly in need of finding some new ones myself. Let's get our thinking caps on Joey. Venus will you write a book so we can find all your wise and wonderful words in one place?

I often think I just drink because it makes me feel good but if I'm honest it's because deep down there's a bottomless pit of need which I haven't got out of my system. I drank last night and for the first time in ages actually felt depressed so I know I've got to kick it into touch again. Drrrrrrrrr....each and every time I try controlled drinking the result is the same so I'm going back on antabuse tonight and at least that will see me through Christmas. Perhaps a new experience should be going to AA (again) but I've got to do something. Welcome Bummy :) will read your thread later but hope this is the beginning of you and DH becoming closer again.

mummy welcome aboard, you have come to the right place for advice and understanding. I think all you lovely babes are right, .alias, venus
And joey I think we drink to fill a hole in our lives, the sad realisation that a life without wine is too boring to contemplate shows in itself that we must all find other ways to make us feel fulfilled, but to do that we must first acknowledge what's wrong in our lives and that's scary. venus I love your mantra of be good to yourself and find ways to feel fulfilled, you sound very calm and serene in your postings. Sometimes I think I'm just looking for more ou

Out of life, is my expectation too high or do I deserve more? How do
We know the answer??? X x c

Hello again :)

Day 6 here, DH brought a 4 pack of beer last night and I left him to it, even managed to refuse a small glass so, so far so good. The problem is keeping up the momentum, in the past I have stopped, once for 8 weeks (so bad that I see that as an achievement) but after a while a little voice argues that...
I'm fine,
I'm over-reacting just because DF is an alcoholic,
There is nothing wrong with an occasional glass of wine in the evening and
Everyone else does it.

Looked back at my posting history in a different name, I found an awful thread where I was desperately trying to avoid the fact I had a problem with alcohol, but if I hadn't got a problem I wouldn't be here 2.5 years later with the same concerns, would I?

I so agree with venus that the 'hole' is only temporarily papered over and is still there the next day, but I'm hungover, less likely to deal with it and more likely to drink again to escape dealing with it.

Welcome bummy I'm a newbie myself but have watched these threads on occasion and you won't find better, support, empathy and kick-up-the-arse-ness anywhere else

Am surviving these days fueled by mince pies, may have to change to CrushedWithMincePies soon!

babyjane1 can't speak for you, but I tend to have high expectations for external factors, job, house, relationships and very low expectations for my own abilities. So I think letting go of what we can't have control over and valuing ourselves and believing that we do deserve to be treated with kindness and respect by ourselves is probably key.

Oh, and today I will not drink :)

I will not drink today either, I have noticed lately that as soon as I decide I'm not drinking today, I feel a sense of relief that the decision is made. This confirms I use wine to reward and punish myself in equal measures so today I will do as venus says and drink water, eat well and cleanse, tone and moisturise and I'm sure tomorrow, I will look and feel better!!!' Please join me in my virtual health club and do the same tonight, tomorrow night we can do nails and fake tan, anything to distract is from the nasty nasty wine bitch sorry witch!!!! X x x

I did not drink lastnight, even though my Mam sent a bottle of Amaretto, a christmas favourite.

I am out for a meal tonight and I am driving. I still feel a touch rough actually, but got up able bodies this morning.

I will catch up with all properly later. But will Say a few of you have that commented about that all or nothing way of thinking, yes totally get that.

Thanks for welcome.

kiki just wondered how you are? And leucan are you out there and alias and soba and anyone else out there, hope you are all having a good day. X x

hello babyjane yes still here! will probably be here for a long time yet...

thinking about filling up this 'empty hole'... I looked into volunteering with my DDs choir, but its a bit offputting. The role would be selling raffle tickets etc basically out of my comfort zone, busy and too many people...

They also need people to supervise the kids, I wouldn't mind doing that but they have to be CRB checked.

I've been pondering this for ages but maybe I need religion. Or faith. You know those sample kits you get of 5 or 6 different perfumes to try out? Thats what I need, a week-long retreat of different religions I can try to see which one suits me best I am ripe to be sucked into some wacky cult

Think we might already be in our own 'Wacky Cult' Joey! xxx

purple yes very true!

thinking about it, AA is supposed to be a bit religious isn't it? But I'm not sure I'd want to have that as almost my only social outlet, I don't think alcohol defines me, well not as much as it used to.

Also... (I've checked) the one near me is 'open' I think this means that you don't have to have a drink problem to attend, you could be a partner or family member. So... my boss could be there because her father is an alcoholic... what I mean is, it wouldn't be quite so bad meeting someone I knew - although still terribly embarrassing - as long as they were also in the same position. But if it was someone who was there because of a family problem? A parent from DDs school?

Scrap that idea. Its back to the cult with the bells and orange robes.

Hmmmm, orange rather suits me.....! xxx

Once I get my fake on I too will be orange so we should develop our own religion, the church of the orange winos!!! Ha ha x

Lol! Bring it on!! xxx

Just hoping there's someone out there to talk me out of a craving. The wine in the larder is calling (left over from Saturday) and I'm a bit hungover from last night and REALLY WANT A DRINK. I can't even take an antabuse yet because I need to wait for 24 hours after I've had my last drink.

DD will be back in an hour and if she knows I've been drinking she'll probably leave home. But even that isn't enough to stop me. If I'm not an alkie, I don't who is :(

DO AS I SAY AND NOT AS I DO!

Don't do it Soma! Have several glasses of water - until you are full and not thirsty at all. If the wine in the larder is a problem - pour it away if you can! Find some chocolate or other sweet stuff to help curb the craving. You only have a short while to get through - stay strong, Sweetpea, you can do it - just this once! Promise yourself you'll give in 'next time' but not now - DD will be back really soon and you can't let her, or you, down this time! (We'll talk about next time - next time!!).

Strength and courage my Lovely!!! xx

Well, Soma you got that water drunk yet?! x

I hear you Purple, I'll drink loads of water and have some muffins. I'm so fecking weak. Thank you xx

Yes, I think it's coming out of my ears. It's not so strong now, how are you this afternoon? x