Well purse my fanjo, giraffes in wheelchairs and submariners going dowwwnnnn - the dating thread hits 30!

[JulietteMontague]

Off we go...

Right, once again I need help (male input welcome )

What should one do/say when one's paramour makes leading remarks about the possibility of falling in love (woman unspecified), or similar? This has happened a few times and I don't know what to do. Anything I can think of saying sounds either presumptuous or flippant or embarrassing so usually I sit tight and say nowt and then change the subject.

He thinks he's going to fall in love soon btw.

Have had other remarks along the same lines too. Had the falling in love one again last night on the phone.

Could anyone please suggest a suitable reply? I am so shite at this sort of thing - have got good strategies for dealing with complements, which I enjoy. I kind of enjoy this too but it flusters me as it seems like he's sort of saying something and sort of not.

I had thought of saying something similar first and seeing what he says back ...

questions, we first met at the beginning of the year, but after a few dates I realised I wasn't in the right 'place' for dating, so we then had a 6-month gap before meeting up again. Originally I wasn't sure if the chemistry was there, but on our date last Saturday things seemed to change, and we were just about to kiss goodbye when my train came. Another reason for the slow pace is that I have to admit I'm pretty shy about these things. But I think/hope this Sunday will be different...

OWW, I wish I could advise, but I'd be like you - I wouldn't know what to say and would either say something flippant or change the subject. Hope someone comes along who can be more helpful than I can!

But it certainly sounds like a good sign ... and I'm so glad that things are going better for you after such a hard time.

bant roll with the punches

Thanks Libby - glad it's not just me! I am going to ignore all the shit and carry on regardless, head in the sand but probably happier.

Hope you don't get interrupted on Sunday

Aww that's kind of sweet libby. Maybe plan for a taxi on sunday then, so you can get your kiss

oww I'm useless when it comes to ambiguous statements like that, I'd have to be told in no uncertain terms to feel confident enough to respond with how I was feeling. I'd try to make light of it...oh so did you have anyone in mind? Etc, to get him to be more clear.

Hi bill

Oh dear western. My first opportunity to give a view and frankly I think I'd be a bit rubbish too. It sounds like he really wants to say it but just doesn't want to put it out there not to be reciprocated. I'd be the same, so it's testing the water. Like you say, perhaps say similar to reassure him and then see what happens.

OWW and questions - Mr Coffee is obviously thinking along the same lines as you as he's suggested driving me home on Sunday!

OWW, do you think you might be falling in love with him?

Oh it's so reassuring that it's not just me being crap!

I've made this situation really by taking the piss (gently-ish) in the past when he's said nice things - purely down to feeling a little flustered and unsure of how to respond. So I think I need to repay a few compliments. I can think loads of nice things about him very very easily but bugger me it's difficult to open myself up and actually say them!

Sorry ^Libby* cross posted - no, not yet, but the possibility is definitely there. I'm very cautious about this sort of thing.

Bet you can't wait til the end of the date!!

I think I'd find that sort of hinting a little bit irritating and as a result probably ignore it, but then what would I know?

I can see making any sort of declaration can seem a big step though...my nice Ex (not the Evil one) first told me he loved me by text (as he said then he wouldn't have to see the look of horror on my face if I didn't feel the same...).

Libby hope Sunday goes well and you get a kiss :)

I'd be happy with a 3rd date. Kiss or no kiss. Not that there's much chance of that of course.

RL takes me away for a couple of hours and I return to discover I've inadvertently caused a huge row. Oops! Sorry

Bant you can't go . It would be all my fault, and I really can't afford to have you on my conscience!

Thanks for the offer Juliette I have PM'd you! Be gently brutal with me!

Hi Bill

On bant's behalf, I'm simply going to say: ouch, ouch, ouch!

Was that entirely necessary when it was just someone simply expressing a personal preference? Its made me - a seasoned and long-term forum user - think twice about expressing mine.

watch, I hope you'll be in touch with bant by PM.

Yep have to say I used to post when this thread first started over a year ago but quickly decided not to bother as at times things could get a bit sharp on here. There's probably a good reason why we dont have many male poster and that's a shame...

antonym I have once a few times I wanted to see what the competition was.

my profile was the best obviously

Bant if you go I will PM you daily asking for updates.

Hello bill

Secret PMd you.

listen up Watch..teacher has spoken

I will miss reading Bants posts...shame he has been run off this thread...much like the australian gentleman a few months. Hopefully Bant you will come back to fight on..yeah you have made a few faux pas (bloody hell, this is MN bun fights happen all the time) but in general I think your input has been wise, supportive and fun to read.

I will miss Bant's posts too - I happen to think Blackadder is very funny. Seriously though, the shame of it is he was just doing what we all told him to do the first time he posted on here, which is to speak of his own personal experiences. That's all he was doing. He wasn't telling anyone else how to find the perfect partner or judging anyone on here. Plus, he gives some of the best advice around. Hopefully he will be back when he's ready.

Western - I was wondering the same as libby. How do you feel? Figure that out and then just remind him that you're not always good at saying how you feel but that you do like/love/care/ about him. Put it in an email if it's easier to write down than say it out loud.

Welcome Bill.

Nope. Im not going to pm and appolgise.
People disagree all the time. We challenge and discuss all the time. The whole board does.
Im not going to sit by and agree that no high school people should be contacted because they tend to be thick and then laugh at the halarity of it all while thinking we are all better. And then alienating people on/ who lurk on this thread.
I dont believe that to be fair, sorry.

I might be sharp sometimes but thats because i will say something when someone is rude or judgemental or whatever and not just lick arse for the sake of keeping the peace.

The australian gentleman had a back story. If you saw some of the sleezy pm,s and sexually graphic things he sent someposters ( as i did) then you wouldnt be having a go at me about it.

And hi bill :)
I expect you are in scotland or something huh...
( if not put off.... since ive now been declared evil incarnate )

If he had just said he searches for graduates and not made such a thing i wouldnt have commented. It was the running down, laughing at and stereotyping of people that got me. Its not funny.
Same as his joke about middle eastern women and landmines wasnt funny.

Im sorry but i cant laugh at shit like that and i cant sit passivley by and agree with it either ( because thats as bad as laughing )

Oh and the australian ' gentleman' actually sent unsolicoted explict messages to a woman who he knew had been raped.

I will not be nice to someone like that no matter how nice they appear nor what advice they give.

Jeez, bant - it's nothing to leave the thread over! Just a disagreement

I can't agree with anyone saying he's 'been run off the thread' he's a grown man and Watch isn't responsible for his being over sensitive and having a tendency to flounce. That's all his own problem entirely.

I am guilty myself in the past of having searched only for graduates (even though I'm not one myself) so it applies to me too.. am I leaving? Nope.

If we all left threads or MN every time someone clashed with us there would be no mumsnet left.

Morning all!
I started the whole mess, and I'm still here

juliette did a fine job of deconstructing my profile, thanks again! Turns out instead of the independent woman-about-town I was hoping to project, actually I was more of an child-obsessed hausfrau albeit with a killer cleavage!

I will, of course let you know, when the messages start flooding in from cosmopolitan sophisticates - with or without degrees - start flooding in

We've all had our arses handed to us at one time or another on MN. Which is no reason to flounce.

Watch is right, she has nowt to apologise for, she called someone for being rude, which we've all done I'm sure during our time on here.

I had no idea about the Australian chap sending inappropriate unsolicited PMs. That is just not on.

Welcome Bill, join in and have fun. It's nice to see another bloke on here.